The special election for OH12 was yesterday and Republican Troy Balderson won by 1,766 votes.
Democrats, of course, are blaming it on the Green Party Candidate who prevented Democrats Danny O’Connor from winning because of his eleven hundred votes.
But eleven hundred votes is fewer than the number of votes Balderson won by.
I know math is hard.
Any old how.
Of course, we all know those Green Party voters weren’t really registered voters in OH12.
They were Russians.
You know what sucks?
Because of our unwillingness to pass policy that protects our election integrity, I immediately think the Green Party votes tonight are Russian meddling.
Why else would anyone cast a protest vote in Ohio when there’s so much at stake?#OH12
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) August 8, 2018
Wow, Alyssa. Way to have your finger on the pulse of … well, your boobs apparently.
And who better to blow the lid off the Russians who traveled to OH12 to throw the election for Balderson than a woman who poses while squeezing her breasts?
Yup. Nothing says, “Take me seriously when I offer my post-election conspiracy theories” quite like fondling your own breasts.
Maybe that’s why I never listen to a word Bill Kristol says. Not enough booby-fondling.
Of course if Alyssa really did believe that Russians somehow infiltrated the OH12 election by planting a Green Party candidate (read Russian mole) while conspiring with said Green Party candidate to have Russians vote for him, shouldn’t she be in favor of Voter ID laws?
Voter ID laws are a “policy that protects our election integrity.”
That way if someone named Charlie Williams turns up to vote but sounds shockingly like Mr. Chekov, poll workers could check off his ID to make sure he is Charlie Williams and not a nefarious Russian infiltrator who traveled from Moscow to OH12 to vote for the Green Party candidate (read Russian mole) and Alyssa wouldn’t need to pinch her boobies in anger and frustration.
It would be a win/win!
Of course none of this changes the fact that the Партия зеленых candidate didn’t win enough votes to change the outcome of the election.
But math is hard for Alyssa.
So is reality when you get right down to it.
I expect we’ll be hearing a lot of “Russian interference is the reason the Democrat lost” chirping when we head into November.
Especially now that Comey isn’t around to take the blame.
Alyssa the booby-squeezer is just getting a jump on that.
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