Alyssa Milano: OH12 loss is Russia’s fault

OH12 and the Russians

The special election for OH12 was yesterday and Republican Troy Balderson won by 1,766 votes.

Democrats, of course, are blaming it on the Green Party Candidate who prevented Democrats Danny O’Connor from winning because of his eleven hundred votes.

Wait.

But eleven hundred votes is fewer than the number of votes Balderson won by.

I know math is hard.

Any old how.

Of course, we all know those Green Party voters weren’t really registered voters in OH12.

Nope.

They were Russians.

Wow, Alyssa. Way to have your finger on the pulse of … well, your boobs apparently.

And who better to blow the lid off the Russians who traveled to OH12 to throw the election for Balderson than a woman who poses while squeezing her breasts?

Yup. Nothing says, “Take me seriously when I offer my post-election conspiracy theories” quite like fondling your own breasts.

Maybe that’s why I never listen to a word Bill Kristol says. Not enough booby-fondling.

Of course if Alyssa really did believe that Russians somehow infiltrated the OH12 election by planting a Green Party candidate (read Russian mole) while conspiring with said Green Party candidate to have Russians vote for him, shouldn’t she be in favor of Voter ID laws?

Voter ID laws are a “policy that protects our election integrity.”

That way if someone named Charlie Williams turns up to vote but sounds shockingly like Mr. Chekov, poll workers could check off his ID to make sure he is Charlie Williams and not a nefarious Russian infiltrator who traveled from Moscow to OH12 to vote for the Green Party candidate (read Russian mole) and Alyssa wouldn’t need to pinch her boobies in anger and frustration.

It would be a win/win!

Of course none of this changes the fact that the Партия зеленых candidate didn’t win enough votes to change the outcome of the election.

But math is hard for Alyssa.

So is reality when you get right down to it.

I expect we’ll be hearing a lot of “Russian interference is the reason the Democrat lost” chirping when we head into November.

Especially now that Comey isn’t around to take the blame.

Alyssa the booby-squeezer is just getting a jump on that.

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8 thoughts on “Alyssa Milano: OH12 loss is Russia’s fault

  • August 8, 2018 at 11:30 am
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    I can hardly wait till those things hang down so far she steps on them with her spike heels a la old Floridian woman

    • August 9, 2018 at 10:51 am
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      Nah, semi-annual visits to the bike shop to pump ’em back up. Probably running at about 10 psi.

  • August 8, 2018 at 11:46 am
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    Funny, but when it comes to election integrity I don’t immediately think that Democrats have cornered that market. They after all want illegal immigrants to vote in our elections. So what’s a few Russians, when they will allow and want to make legal every other citizen from every other country, Democrat voters?
    Because of the democrat party’s history and their behavior towards real voting integrity I will never believe that Hillary won the popular vote.

    • August 9, 2018 at 1:22 pm
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      Amen!

  • August 8, 2018 at 5:26 pm
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    CYNTHIA

    Well said!

    HERE! HERE!

  • August 8, 2018 at 8:58 pm
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    Although I strongly support the fondling of boobies, my fear of all the Russians running around has caused me to abstain!

  • August 8, 2018 at 11:53 pm
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    Well Bless her heart. It is a good thing she has nice boobies, cause she obviously has Schitt 4 brains.

  • August 9, 2018 at 6:04 am
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    This is what happens when people who make a living saying what other people write for them, try to think for themselves. These actors need to sit there, with their mouths shut, until the director yells “Action”.
    Then, dance little monkeys! Dance!

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