CNN’s Unsolicited Advice Columnist

CNN’s Unsolicited Advice Columnist

In an effort to defend (?) Fredo Cuomo, CNN’s Ana Navarro decided to take to Twitter to offer some unsolicited advice.

Because apparently, Ana fancies herself the Ann Landers of CNN. Only, instead of waiting for people to ask her for advice, Ana just volunteers it.

Now, I wouldn’t mind Ana Landers offering her unsolicited advice if A) it made sense and B) was rooted in reality.

But this unsolicited advice is so idiotic, it’s worse than no advice at all.

Unsolicited advice is irritating as a general rule. I had a friend who liked to say, “Before offering people advice ask yourself this: did they ask?”

But unsolicited advice that belies the facts on the ground is less than useless.

While I’m sure Fredo does have an impressive gym body, it is plainly obvious that the pest who bugged him wasn’t deterred by his Ana-approved biceps.

Nothing happened to the guy, Ana.  Fredo didn’t throw a punch.  He didn’t put him in a head lock.  Hell, he didn’t even give the punk a shove.

All he did was run his big mouth and cuss a lot.

And if my life experience has taught me anything, it’s that the loudmouth who monologues about how he’s going to mess someone up is the one least likely to actually follow through on his tough talk.

Once you’re bellowing about what you can do to someone, you’ve lost the fight.

In Mario Puzo’s book “The Godfather” (how appropriate), there’s a scene where Sonny hunts down Connie’s husband Carlo after Carlo beats the snot out of her.  Sonny tries to engage Carlo in a fistfight, but Carlo refuses to fight back.

Finally, unable to get what he wants, Sonny says to Carlo, “You dirty bastard, you ever beat up my sister again I’ll kill you.”

And this is how Puzo describes the moment:

Those words released the tension. Because of course, if Sonny intended to kill the man he would never have uttered the threat. He uttered it in frustration because he could not carry it out.

The second Fredo Cuomo started in with his “I’m gonna F you up” talk, it was clear to anyone watching the video that Fredo wasn’t going to do a damn thing – Ana-approved biceps not withstanding.

In fact, I’d venture to say Fredo spit out all those threats because he knew he couldn’t go through with it. Which may be the first time Fredo took a page from Sonny’s book.

Yet despite video evidence that Fredo’s biceps played no role in the exchange, Ana offers this useless unsolicited advice warning people away from pestering Fredo.

That’s just dumb.

If Fredo knocked the guy flat in one blow thanks to his super thick biceps, then I can see the point of this unsolicited advice.  But he didn’t.

All he did was bluster.

Now, I can think of some much more helpful unsolicited advice that perhaps Ana should employ in the future.

First, just because you go to a gym and take Instagram pictures of your post-workout sculpted body doesn’t mean you know how to fight.  So it might not be a good idea to pop off like you’re actually a tough guy.

And second, never enter a pie-eating contest with a woman whose waistline exceeds your IQ.  Because I’m guessing Ana can really pack it away.

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8 thoughts on “CNN’s Unsolicited Advice Columnist

  • August 13, 2019 at 2:12 pm

    Your last example might actually be an IQ upgrade, in some direct comparisons


  • August 13, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    “And second, never enter a pie-eating contest with a woman whose waistline exceeds your IQ. Because I’m guessing Ana can really pack it away.”

    Ouch!!! Touche (especially since apparently this woman used the same insult for another person, while on Fredo’s show).

  • August 13, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    From the clip there is no indication that the person calling Cuomo Fredo is a Trump supporter. Not sure where Ana gets that. Also, soooo impressed that Ana is brave enough to use the f-word–it really elevates her status.

    • August 17, 2019 at 9:14 pm

      Gravitas. It gives her a homey, endearing layer of gravitas. You’ll see once you warm up to her.

      Uh….nope. Never happen. If she offers to make you a sammich, don’t eat it, whatever you do.

  • August 13, 2019 at 8:28 pm

    For 38 years Ana has been a ronny hating leftist Bush girl! Like Ben S. she clearly still hates Ron today! Ron + Don pt working Americans 1st! Has always been a white nationalist idea for the Rove/Bush folk ie Anna

  • August 13, 2019 at 9:47 pm

    One thing about the little Nicaraguan Piglet is her IQ will never be more than her waist line measurement……

  • August 14, 2019 at 7:54 am

    “If you’re going to shoot, SHOOT; don’t talk!” – Tuco

  • August 15, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Diogenes for the win!

Comments are closed.