Cuomo “Merch” — yeah, it’s a thing

Cuomo “Merch” -- yeah, it’s a thing

On Thursday, Good Morning America reported that venders on Etsy are selling Cuomo “Merch.”

That’s what they called it – “merch.”

I hate when people shorten words.  It makes me all kinds of crazy.  It’s a cucumber, not a “cuke.”

And it’s merchandise, not “merch.”

“Merch.”  It’s too cute-cutsie.

But then again, anyone who would actually fork over money for Cuomo “merch” probably loves cute-cutsie.

Included among the available Cuomo “Merch” on Etsy are Cuomo socks (several varieties), Cuomo mugs, Cuomo beer cozies, and Cuomo ’24 ball caps.

Which only goes to show you that shallow idiots will buy anything.

What I didn’t find, however, was the Liberal’s favorite kind of “merch:” the full body jumpsuit.

Like this one:

Chastity Suit 1

I called that the “Chastity Suit.”

There isn’t even a T-shirt of a thousand Cuomos like this one (for people who were born without the Embarrassment Gene):

Why no thousand Cuomos t-shirt in the Cuomo "merch"

Give it time. Some enterprising entrepreneur will get around to making those too.

And I’m sure some testosterone-challenged doofus or a suburban wine mom – or anyone else who can utter the word “merch” without cringing in embarrassment – will buy them and wear them proudly.

What surprised me while perusing the Etsy-available Cuomo “merch” was the lack of the Cuomo Body Bag.  That seems like an enormous oversight.  The built-in demand is there.

Since Cuomo’s New York seeded much of the outbreak throughout the rest of the country, the Cuomo Body Bag “merch” would be a top-seller from coast-to-coast.

One thing’s certain.  Cuomo “merch” is going to have a very short shelf life.  In another six months – possibly less – every single person who bought this Cuomo “merch” will be dumping it in the nearest Rescue Mission drop off box.

Or just throwing it in the trash.

In the meantime, my hat’s off to those clever entrepreneurs who quickly found a way to make some cash off the stupidity of short-sighted people.

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3 thoughts on “Cuomo “Merch” — yeah, it’s a thing

  • May 9, 2020 at 2:02 pm
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    I miss Dianny T’s. I’m still asked, “where did you get the Molon Labe shirt? It’s the best ML of all time!” And parishioners at my church liked the “Koinonia” shirt, too. You had the best eye and mind for creating superlative T’s, Dianny…no doubt about it!

  • May 9, 2020 at 10:07 pm
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    Worse than simply shortening a word is shortening one and making it cute. When I hear somebody refer to “the po-po” when they mean costumed armed law enforcers, I look around for a cream pie to throw.

  • May 10, 2020 at 10:47 am
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    I’ve coined a word for like “merch” which combines the best elements of cuteness and atrociousness

    Cute-ocity …… a cuteness atrocity

Comments are closed.