Let’s play Jeopardy.
The answer is:
• Brush my teeth with a brillo pad.
• Run barefoot through an alley covered in broken glass.
• Eat bugs.
• Listen to Obama’s two inaugural addresses and all of his State of the Union speeches while standing naked on the subway.
• Get a colonoscopy wide awake.
• Sit through the movie “Glitter.” Twice.
• Walk down a street in gang territory in Chicago at 2 am on a Saturday morning. Unarmed.
• Get waterboarded.
• Be the sparring partner for Floyd Mayweather. Without wearing any pads.
• Sit through an entire sermon of Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
What are “The things I’d rather do than sit through another Democrat Debate?”
You’ve heard of The Agony and the Ecstasy? This is the Agony and the Agony.
I’m not even going to ask you to take a poll to decide who won.
Because nobody won.
Unless the question is, who managed to torture us the most, then, well, every single one of those delusional Leftists gets a trophy!
I kind of feel bad for my Mom and Dad. Finally a debate is on network TV instead of cable and it’s the freaking Democrats. That’s like waking up on Christmas morning and finding only cat hair and a little lint inside your stocking.
Trust me. They didn’t watch it. I think my 83-year-old mother would prefer to be Floyd Mayweather’s sparring partner too.
I considered simply writing, That’s two hours of my life I will never get back, but I know that in this battle to restore our Republic, one of the sad realities is, we need to know our enemy.
And don’t give me the “We have to learn to unite, we’re all Americans, and just because they’re Democrats doesn’t make us enemies” song and dance. Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders and that nitwit Martin O’Malley want to drag this great nation of ours into the toilet and give it a flush. I believe in fighting for Liberty. And these people want to take it away from us. That makes them my enemy.
Any old how.
Compared to the CNN Lovefest debate led by Anderson Cooper, CBS moderator John Dickerson seemed to be a little more willing to forcefully challenge these guys. But even so. Enduring the claptrap from these three kooks for two solid hours should qualify me for combat pay.
Because of yesterday’s terrorist attack in Paris, CBS decided they needed to revamp the debate to include national security and foreign policy.
Odd how they had to stick that in at the last minute. You would think a debate between three people vying for Commander-in-Chief would have naturally included national security and foreign policy.
And honestly? Watching these three talk about keeping America safe is sort of like watching a little kid try on Daddy’s suit.
Clearly Hillary tried to cast herself as the one who really, really, really, really, REALLY knows her stuff when it comes to national security.
Except for that whole pesky “getting people killed” thing.
And having to hear the Grandpa Simpson of the Democrat Party try and talk about national defense is akin to having a root canal without the anesthesia.
Poor Martin O’Malley. The guy is a hot mess. I think he’ll probably be announcing his withdrawal from the race sometime next week.
When they hopped away from their five minutes covering national security, where these three were forlorn and dull, and got to discussing their plans for confiscating the wealth from others and doling out freebies to everyone from college students to illegals, these three absolutely came alive.
Nothing gets a Democrat excited quite like promising to be Santa Claus.
But the truth is, this debate didn’t cover any new ground at all.
It’s clear that after eight grueling years of Obama, these three believe the solution is to kick the socialism up a notch and be über-Obama.
Every single person who owns a business with employees should be downright terrified by these people. Their moronic discussion about the minimum wage failed to even for one nano-second take into account the fact that businesses that are already struggling in the crap-ass economy would be crippled if they had to pay everyone $15.00 per hour no matter their skills or experience.
The funny thing about the whole minimum wage discussion is they bragged about local and state governments going to a higher minimum wage and how wonderful it was. Problem is, local and state government wages are paid by taxpayers. So the people who get kicked in the nuts by governments paying higher wages are the people who are already getting kicked in the nuts by this crap-ass economy.
They really do not understand how an economy works, do they?
I think the only people who should go to college on the taxpayer dime are Bernie, Marty and Hillary. But only if they major in Economics. I’m not economist, but I have a better grasp on how a free market economy works than these three idiots do combined. And if we don’t want to send them to college to learn, how about we buy them all a copy of Thomas Sowell’s Basic Economics?
The hands down funniest moment of the debate was when John Dickerson asked about the conservative revolution happening in the nation — pointing out the landslide Republican victories on the state level and in the House and Senate. And each of these idiots actually declared that the majority of Americans agree with them.
That was hilarious.
This debate was excruciating. These candidates are buffoonish and moronic.
And frankly, I’ll vote for any Republican who can give me back the two hours I wasted watching it.
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Books by Dianny:
RANT 2.0: Even More Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
Liberals Gone WILD!!! The Not-So-Silent Conquering of America,
RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
and two novels: Sliding Home Feet First and Under the Cloud