Find someone who loves you as much as Tough Guy Swalwell loves himself

Ladies, a word of advice.  Find a man who loves you as much as Tough Guy Swalwell loves himself.

Seriously, this thick-necked doofus can’t get enough of himself.

Watching the videos he tweets of himself talking into his smart phone camera always leaves me with an overwhelming urge to shout, “Get a room!”

Tough Guy Eric loves himself so much his wife could divorce him on the grounds of infidelity.

And for some reason, he’s under the misguided notion that we adore him almost as much as he adores himself.

Spoiler Alert: We don’t.  Hell, even Democrat voters don’t.

When you’re polling at zero among primary voters, I’m guessing they’re just not that into you, Mr. Tough Guy.

There’s nothing more entertaining than watching Eric Swalwell play his tough guy act on Twitter.

He won’t be intimidated!  He won’t back down!  No, sir, he’s not afraid!  Not of President Trump! Not of the NRA!

The way he bangs on about how fearless he is, you’d think Tough Guy Swalwell was, well, tough.

Second Spoiler Alert: He’s not.

If Eric were such a brave speaker of “truth to power” then why does he fold like a bad poker hand every time the subject of his skin color or gender pop up?

“I won’t be intimidated by NRA Trolls!!  But on the other hand, you angry feminists scare the living daylights out of me. So here, let me grovel and prostrate myself to you while I happily remove my own testicles and secure them in a lockbox.  I will know when to step back and pass the mic! I’m your humble stooge!  Hell, I’ll even sacrifice my son on the altar of Feminist Virtue Signaling!”

Now with your average emasculated man, I might feel a shred a pity.  But I have no pity for Eric Swalwell.  In fact, I find his Neutered Tough Guy act all manner of entertaining.

The lengths he will go to get someone, anyone to think he’s Presidential material is a hoot.

It’s like watching a drunk, horny frat boy forced to talk Feminist Drum Theory with a moderately attractive Gender Studies major in hopes of getting in her pants.

And there’s nothing more fun than seeing him bluster and rage while pitifully mewling for people to cough up even a dollar to his campaign.

I can just see Tough Guy Swalwell strutting down the street ala Travolta from “Saturday Night Fever” thinking he’s a bad-ass. And all the while his fly is open and he’s got toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

Tough Guy Swalwell

Like I said the other day, Tough Guy Swalwell is the Chip Diller of 2020

He’s a clown and a fool who is so in love with himself, he is blind to the fact that out here in the real world, most of us are rolling our eyes and snickering at him.

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4 thoughts on “Find someone who loves you as much as Tough Guy Swalwell loves himself

  • June 3, 2019 at 10:07 am

    I have to disagree with you on one very important point. It’s not a lockbox that he throws his testicles into, it’s a tic-tac container. 😉 A guy like that doesn’t have much to worry about.
    Great article as always. I love your wit and your analysis. You have a great talent for what you do. Keep it up!

  • June 3, 2019 at 11:20 am

    Of everything cringe worthy Duke Nuke’m has said and done, tagging his toddler son as a “little male feminist” is the most cringe worthy. That will hound the little tyke into therapy, possible a name change, if elder Swalwell hasn’t already changed his name to “Nancy.”

  • June 3, 2019 at 12:52 pm

    “Most of us are rolling our eyes and snickering at him.”

    Ahem …. Eric along with 20+ others to boot!

  • June 3, 2019 at 6:44 pm

    Two leftists (OK, there are several more) who I really, really, really can’t stand are SwallowsWell and Chris Hahn. Those 2 have a penchant for tap dancing on my last nerve.

Comments are closed.