Governor Menu Monitor

Governor Menu Monitor

Well, that didn’t take long.  Last week I told you about how New York’s Governor Andrew Cuomo issued a proclamation ordering bars to only serve alcohol to those who order food. And after seeing some clever bar owners skirt his idiotic dictate with “Cuomo Chips” and other hilarious “in-your-face” responses, the Menu Monitor decided another Dining Dictate was needed.

It isn’t just enough to order food.  It must be “substantial” foods.

Buffalo wings? Appetizers?

Sure. That’s food, but they aren’t “food” food, says the Menu Monitor.

According to Governor Menu Monitor, the bare minimum qualification for what constitutes substantial food is the sandwich.  Anything less than a sandwich is unsubstantial.

So I guess the sampler appetizer platter doesn’t count.

You’d think this yutz would have more important things to do than police the menu choices of New Yorkers.

I’ll tell you one thing. The first bar that offers a Potato Chip on Rye with French Onion dip as a condiment (sandwich parts sold separately) will win my undying affection.

What precisely is the science behind this anyway?

And what exactly does the type of food have to do with preventing the spread of the Wuhan virus?

If a sandwich prevents you from getting COVID, maybe we should all start wearing a slice of Wonder bread for a mask.

You’d think a guy who never takes responsibility for anything that happens on his watch wouldn’t be such a petty, persnickety micromanager.

Then again, when has Andrew Cuomo shown any consistency?

Cuomo doesn’t treat New Yorkers as fellow citizens; he treats us like his incorrigible children.

As Becket Adams put it on Twitter yesterday:

seriously, new yorkers, why do you guys keep doing this to yourselves? do you enjoy being lorded over? do you like being treated like children? do you have some weird, deep-seated longing for a male nanny who will change your diapers and cut your food for you?

Permit me to answer that.

Andrew Cuomo has been infantilizing New Yorkers for a decade.  And clearly the majority of New Yorkers are fine with it.

How else do you explain why Governor Menu Monitor is now serving his third term in office?

It certainly isn’t because he’s successfully turned New York State into an energy-independent economic powerhouse.

And it sure as hell isn’t because we’re enjoying low taxes and an overabundance of Individual Liberty.

New York is populated by people who are completely on board with the politics of good intentions.

Outcomes can be utterly disastrous (hello nursing homes!) so long as Andrew Cuomo tells us how much he cares.

And, yes.  There will be plenty of New Yorkers who applaud like clapping seals over their Albany Daddy declaring himself our official Menu Monitor.

Because far too many New York voters are more than happy to be pliant, obedient sheep.

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8 thoughts on “Governor Menu Monitor

  • July 24, 2020 at 1:43 pm
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    Sad. Sadder still that there are other “Nanny State Syndrome” States as well. Damn a vaccine for kong flu, find and make one to cure liberalism!

  • July 24, 2020 at 4:57 pm
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    Your idea of a Potato Chip Sandwich is GENIUS. I would talk with a patent and copyright attorney ASAP. It’s all about the branding and the marketing. “Move over P B & J, I’m havin’ a PCS and some gin!”

    I see franchise opportunities.

    • July 24, 2020 at 7:57 pm
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      I’ve been eating potato chip sandwiches for years!

      BTW, count how many times The Luv Guv says the word “bar”.

      • July 24, 2020 at 8:20 pm
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        When I was a kid I made peanut butter and potato chip sandwiches for my lunch. Great combo!

  • July 25, 2020 at 8:07 am
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    Sadder still to my way of thinking is that this numbskulled pezzonovante actually thinks his micromanaging of New Yorker’s lives passes for good governance. We’ve fallen a long way!!!

  • July 25, 2020 at 9:11 am
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    Thing is, Cuomo resents being laughed at. He REALLY RESENTS being laughed at. That is what the Cuomo CHips and other menu satire is all about. Laughing at him.

    With the murder of our Grandparents ordered by Cuomo by his actions during covid he has lost a huge chunk of what little credibility he had. People and I mean all people, liberals and conservatives, all see the huge mess Cuomo made of the state and our death toll is more than many NATIONS totals including nations with larger populations. He mismanaged and caused a lot of misery and pain and he cannot deny that.

    Problem is, arguing with Cuomo is like arguing with a child. It is never his fault. He didn’t do it. It was someone else. He refuses to MAN UP and take the blame for his mistakes.

    It is time to recall Andrew Cuomo and get that error out of Albany. He is a third rate second generation politician who got None of the skills and ability that his father had. I did not like Mario’s policies. I did not hate him. I hate Andrew Cuomo. For how he treats us, the citizens of the state.

  • July 27, 2020 at 10:07 pm
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    “I’ll have the chicken wing sandwich, please….”

  • July 28, 2020 at 2:19 pm
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    Bring back the Raines Sandwich!!

Comments are closed.