Move over Neil Sedaka. There’s a new calendar girls lover in town.
On Monday, the New York Times quoted Joe Biden comparing the search for his perfect running mate to searching for calendar models.
When I first heard the story, after I finished singing “I love, I love, I love my calendar girls! Yeah, sweet calendar girls!” I got a queasy feeling in my stomach. Mostly because the first picture that popped into my head was Elizabeth Warren dressed as a sexy librarian seductively telling the boys to “Shhhhh!”
It was such a horrifying mental image, I couldn’t even bring myself to Photoshop it.
Hey, even I have my limits.
My second choice – Governor “Karen” Whitmer dressed in a sexy fascist costume – failed for the same reason. On a side note, there is such a thing as a sexy fascist costume. Who knew?!
So after a few pointless, puke-inducing attempts, I finally settled on a beach blanket motif starring Thirsty Rerun Abrams.
Okay, I admit; that’s not much better than Librarian Liz or Sexy Fascist Whitmer.
That was the problem I had, if you want to know the truth. From a bikini-clad Amy Klobuchar hurling binders to Kamala on her knees — every idea I came up with was either puke-inducing or pornographic.
Blame it on Joe. This is the problem with comparing your search for a running mate to calendar girls.
You’d think a guy facing a credible accusation of sexual assault who vowed to choose a female running mate would find a better analogy to describe his selection process.
But it’s pervy, lecherous Joe.
Inappropriate, badly timed analogies should be expected.
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