Here’s a way to get around California’s plastic straw ban

In October of last year, California decided to decriminalize knowingly spreading HIV.

It’s flat-out insane.

And the logic behind it doesn’t take into account medical research regarding the resurgence of HIV and the rise of drug-resistant forms of the disease.

As of now, if you have HIV, you can knowingly spread the disease to another partner and face no consequences.

But heaven forbid you get caught with a plastic straw!

You understand that?

Give someone HIV and walk away scot-free.

Give your customer a plastic straw in his drink and spend six years in jail.

What the hell is wrong with the people in California?

Now, I realize that California will protect illegal alien criminals.

But what if an illegal alien uses as a plastic straw?

There’s a quandary.

If they’re so concerned about the plastic straw’s impact on the environment, why the hell won’t they do something about all the plastic hypodermic needles they give away for free in San Francisco?

For heaven’s sake. You can’t walk down a sidewalk in downtown San Francisco without having to dodge feces and used hypodermic needles.

But a plastic straw is a bridge too far?

You know, I think I might have a way to get around this idiotic plastic straw ban.

Now, I don’t have the marketing and business sense to take advantage of it.

But I am an idea gal.

And I’m happy to pass this idea along to someone who can make it happen.

So if you think you have the manufacturing know how, I’ll sell you my idea for a crisp twenty dollar bill.

Undercover straw

Hit the Tip Jar!

Every dollar makes a difference! Hit the DONATE button in the side bar. Or, set up a recurring monthly contribution by choosing SUBSCRIBE. If you cannot afford to contribute, please whitelist PatriotRetort.com in your ad-blocker. Ads help pay for this site. And, as a promise to you, the ads are not obnoxious or overbearing and will never interfere with your enjoyment of PatriotRetort.com.

11 thoughts on “Here’s a way to get around California’s plastic straw ban

  • July 27, 2018 at 9:54 am
    Permalink

    BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • July 27, 2018 at 10:20 am
    Permalink

    Frilliant, Danny! Ronsco could also offer a complimentary feces-shaped container to stow and dispose of ones plastic products. Just drop on the sidewalk! EZ-peezy.

    Reply
  • July 27, 2018 at 10:36 am
    Permalink

    Great parody!

    And my family and friends still wonder why I left California.

    Reply
  • July 27, 2018 at 11:58 am
    Permalink

    you better copyright the idea

    Reply
  • July 27, 2018 at 12:00 pm
    Permalink

    Ya nailed it Dianne. But I hear Mexican drug cartels are already gearing up to smuggle plastic straws across the border.

    Reply
  • July 27, 2018 at 2:02 pm
    Permalink

    Funniest thing I’ve seen this morning. Even surpasses AO-C’s interview on how she is going to pay for all the free stuff.

    Reply
  • July 28, 2018 at 7:40 am
    Permalink

    My idea is less humorous, but better. I moved to a free state. I’m not saying where, I don’t want the leftist Californians following me and crapping up my new home.

    Reply
  • July 28, 2018 at 9:29 am
    Permalink

    We as a nation decided to dive into the progressive alternate reality hole in 2008. Every day I would say to myself that they have sunk as low as they can go…and every day I had to admit that I was a short sighted moron with no imagination. After the election of 2016 and the defeat of Felony Von Pantsuit the progressives have actually managed to break the laws of physics, space/time and even rational thought.

    I know this sounds over the top, but bear with me…

    In 2008 the progressives dove straight down the un-reality hole into the world they believe exists instead of the world that rational people observe. Since that fateful day in November of 2016 progressives and their allies in power in the swamp and inside suicidal state governments around the country have actually managed to go “straighter” down than the straight down they were heading during O-bumblers administration. This new and unique trajectory is characterized and guided by three things; 1. An undying and absolute burning hatred for President Donald Trump and anything and everything connected with him especially those despicable Nazi’s who voted for him. 2. Hatred for anything that even reminds them of an America as envisioned by the Founding Fathers or that existed prior to the Light Bringers administration in 2009. and last but not least… Third, A Hatred and scorn for The Constitution of the United States. This document is the bane of all “right thinking people”. From it’s 1st Amendment to the Bill of Rights giving Nazi’s the evil ability to speak, to the much more evil 2nd amendment giving Law Abiding Americans the right to keep and bear arms so that they may defend themselves against the good and righteous progressive criminals and servants of Big Government. Even the well intention-ed right to be free of illegal search and seizure is used against the weaponized FBI and DOJ to keep them from overthrowing President Trump.

    If the progressives continue on their current trajectory they will exit the known universe and inject themselves into an alternate universe. At which point I will morn and pray for the inhabitants of that universe, but will absolutely refuse to give a return address.

    MSG Grumpy

    Reply
  • July 28, 2018 at 9:54 am
    Permalink

    Dianny, you continually amaze me!!!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Simple Share Buttons
Simple Share Buttons