EXCLUSIVE from the Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service The Hillary Robot suffered a system-wide malfunction this afternoon. Poor thing.
The malfunction occurred during her sparsely attended rally in Las Vegas after some protesters interrupted her pre-programmed speech.
Hillary-Bot shut down most autonomic systems until it was able to attempt a reboot. Unfortunately, this all happened while the robot was still on stage.
Watch this brief clip from ABC News and you can almost see the Hillary-Bot’s silicone synapses attempting to fire.
Secret Service agents walk on stage during Hillary Clinton rally https://t.co/Btp1na4Pxt
— ABC News Politics (@ABCPolitics) August 4, 2016
The Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service obtained this image of the view from the Hillary-Bot at the moment of system malfunction.
What was not visible in this video clip was the Secret Service agent attempting to press the Reset button on the back of the Hillary-Bot’s shoulder thereby activating the default “Joke Attempt” setting.
Unfortunately, the Reset button was poorly translated rendering the joke unfunny.
Engineers from Clintondyne Systems rushed to Las Vegas to do a system check before the next sparsely-attended Hillary rally begins.
Programmers from the Clinton Campaign — mostly H1B Visa-holders from Uzbekistan — were flown in from Clinton Headquarters in Brooklyn to adjust the “Joke Attempt” function. No word as yet if they have been successful.
There are also some reports that Clintondyne Systems executive vice president Huma Abedin is pushing to have the Hillary-Bot’s programming altered to permit her to terminate any future protesters who might interrupt her carefully loaded speech.
These reports, however, appear to be unsubstantiated. But a source within Clintondyne Systems claims this “Terminate” function has been a hotly contested issue among the Uzbek programmers since the start of the campaign.
At the very least, the source says, Abedin wants the Hillary Robot to have the option to terminate any Secret Service agent who fails to properly activate the system recheck.
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