Hillary Robot suffers unexpected programming malfunction

EXCLUSIVE from the Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service The Hillary Robot suffered a system-wide malfunction this afternoon. Poor thing.

The malfunction occurred during her sparsely attended rally in Las Vegas after some protesters interrupted her pre-programmed speech.

Hillary-Bot shut down most autonomic systems until it was able to attempt a reboot. Unfortunately, this all happened while the robot was still on stage.

Watch this brief clip from ABC News and you can almost see the Hillary-Bot’s silicone synapses attempting to fire.

The Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service obtained this image of the view from the Hillary-Bot at the moment of system malfunction.

Does not compute

What was not visible in this video clip was the Secret Service agent attempting to press the Reset button on the back of the Hillary-Bot’s shoulder thereby activating the default “Joke Attempt” setting.

Unfortunately, the Reset button was poorly translated rendering the joke unfunny.

Engineers from Clintondyne Systems rushed to Las Vegas to do a system check before the next sparsely-attended Hillary rally begins.

Programmers from the Clinton Campaign — mostly H1B Visa-holders from Uzbekistan — were flown in from Clinton Headquarters in Brooklyn to adjust the “Joke Attempt” function. No word as yet if they have been successful.

There are also some reports that Clintondyne Systems executive vice president Huma Abedin is pushing to have the Hillary-Bot’s programming altered to permit her to terminate any future protesters who might interrupt her carefully loaded speech.

These reports, however, appear to be unsubstantiated. But a source within Clintondyne Systems claims this “Terminate” function has been a hotly contested issue among the Uzbek programmers since the start of the campaign.

At the very least, the source says, Abedin wants the Hillary Robot to have the option to terminate any Secret Service agent who fails to properly activate the system recheck.

Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service

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4 thoughts on “Hillary Robot suffers unexpected programming malfunction

  • August 5, 2016 at 12:27 am
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    The F-35’s software is glitchy and billions of dollars over budget and 15 years behind schedule, but that’s NOTHING compared to the expense and manhours that have been dumped into the CSS800 Model 101 Virtual Hillary 3am Call-Ready System. It may never be able to achieve the kind of life-like speech and behavior that people expect. Even with a peta-byte of memory, it’s already proven that it can’t make self-aware tweets under any circumstances. I predict total failure.

  • August 5, 2016 at 2:14 pm
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    Thanks Dianny for this WIDNS report!! This robot copy of The Cankled Hildabeast is a perfect example of a Progressive Polished Glitter Turd (PPGT). It doesn’t have to work. It only has to look good. Albeit, in this model’s case it doesnt have to look good, just appear new and improved.

    I especially like the Extremely Concentrated Highly Offensive Defender Yotabyte Killer Laser Irradication Protection System (ECHODYKLIPS). Evidently the extreme system overheating issues have not been properly resolved to date. The internal reboot programming was activated. The halon-3 fire suppression system was deployed to save the core from a meltdown, and complete evil system failure.

    They have to limit the public exposure of this defective deceptobot model to ensure thir secret plans are not leaked out. They have wayyy too much time and $$ invested in this defective device to just flush it away. I read somewhere that they are still promoting the erroneous claim that the robot can be safely handled from the clean, highly polished, tapered end.

  • August 5, 2016 at 2:28 pm
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    Daaang! They are good. Twice I tried to access/play the above video and it simply disappeared from the screen leaving a racist white void where the video was, or should have been. Perhaps that is the video, I don’t know. I could be the evil disease festered bat-rastards are on to you Dianny. Now that is a “Badge of Honor!” Jose Rammoosenutsak cannot even compete! I hope that you are having a GREAT day! CHEERS!

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