I can’t be the only one who cringes every time Cory Booker opens his mouth, can I?
Jesse Kelly was right when he coined Elizabeth Warren’s 2020 run as the “Campaign of Cringe.” But the truth is, every single Democrat candidate – especially the clowns who currently serve in the Senate – are running a campaign of cringe.
And Cory Booker is chief among them.
Sorry Liz! I know you thought you were chief. But that title goes to Spartacus.
Every speech Cory gives sounds like a second-rate actor struggling through an audition monologue. The dramatic pauses, the sudden fits of emotion – the guy makes William Shatner look like a Barrymore.
Sorry, Bill. I really do love you as Captain Kirk. But you gotta admit, you’re acting stinks.
Booker never seems to tire of making a clown of himself.
And what makes it cringeworthy for me is the fact that he really does think he comes off well.
I can totally picture Cory Booker leaving the stage after an excruciating campaign event and saying, “Wow! I totally nailed that! Did you hear me?! Quick give me some video clips to tweet out!”
But when things don’t come from the very depths of your being, it shows.
And Cory Booker is nothing but a façade. It’s why I call him a vacuous gasbag.
There’s absolutely no THERE there.
Sure, he might don his “inspirational voice” or his “angry voice” or his “soaring rhetoric voice,” but there’s nothing behind it.
He’s about as substantive as air in a jug. And it shows every time he opens his gaping maw.
Any old how.
Yesterday, Spartacus was in New Hampshire campaigning when a nine-year-old boy asked him “My dad says you’re a superhero, so what is your superpower?” [Hat tip the Eagle-Tribune]
Now, someone who is not only authentic, but also very confident in himself would have joked about wishing he could fly or read minds because those would be cool superpowers to have. Someone who is genuinely humble and thoughtful might have marveled at being called a superhero, then said he is unworthy of such a word. Real superheroes are our military men and women who keep us safe – you know, something like that.
But Cory Booker is not authentic nor is he humble.
So instead, the vacuous gasbag responded by actually answering the question.
And what, pray tell, are his superpowers?
“The ability to find ways to partner with people who disagree with me,” the clueless prat said. “And tearing down walls that exist between Americans to create justice and unity.”
Too bad that nine-year-old didn’t ask the follow-up question that popped into my head: “Can you give a single example of you using your superpowers?”
After all, superpowers are things that superheroes actually use.
But for the life of me, I can’t recall a single time Cory Booker pulled those superpowers out of his bag of tricks and actually deployed them.
“Sure, I have the power to find ways to partner with people who disagree with me. But I don’t like to use it. After all, it’s much more fun to scream at them in Senate hearings and accuse them of being anti-gay while attacking their Christian faith.”
“You know, this might surprise you, but one of my superpowers is to create justice and unity. But, honestly? I’m afraid of making people jealous by actually calling on those powers. So instead, I berate Trump officials and then storm out in a dramatic huff.”
“Sure, I could have made Newark a beautiful city — filled with justice and unity. But there’s something about rampant crime that really to me.”
What’s his superhero name? Gasbag Man?
Could you imagine being Superman and deciding never to fly? Or leap buildings in a single bound?
Superman wouldn’t hide his superpowers in his fortress of solitude.
But Cory seems to keep his superpowers well hidden.
Alas, one more thing about Cory Booker that’s taking up space in the closet.
Remember how it pissed off the Left when a nine-year-old boy who got to ride on Trump’s helicopter at the Iowa State Fair asked the Donald, “Are you Batman?” And Trump answered, “I am Batman.”
To tell you the truth, that was a far better answer than Cory Booker’s schmaltzy drivel about partnering with people he disagrees with and tearing down walls.
But then, Donald Trump has never been a man who farts out vacuous bromides that sound like they were pre-written by committee or came from an Inspiration-A-Day calendar.
Sadly, that’s about all Cory Booker’s got.
Which, when you get right down to it, is a pretty crappy superpower to have.
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