Guess what everybody. Hoax Crimes aren’t just the hobby of random, anonymous college coeds looking for an excuse for staying out past curfew anymore.
They’ve gone Hollywood!
No, I don’t mean they’ve added Hoax Crimes to the line-up of various Law & Order programs.
I mean now Hollywood actors are getting in on the Hoax Crimes scam.
Some actor with a funny name (whom I never heard of until yesterday) claims that he was the victim of a hate crime in Chicago.
This hate crime starred mask-wearing Trump supporters who threw “an unknown substance” on him and tied a rope around his neck while delivering the made-for-TV line, “This is MAGA country!”
Because when I hear “Chicago,” I think “MAGA Country!”
The actor then went to his apartment. Forty minutes later, his manager called the cops.
When Chicago police arrived at his home, the dude still had the rope around his neck.
Maybe it’s me, but I’d take the rope off before I called my manager.
Then again, that might have been a blooper and will show up in the gag reel for DVD release of this season’s Law & Order: Hoax Crimes Unit.
Naturally, TMZ tripped all over itself to report this Trump-Related Hoax Crime.
And, faster than you can say “Covington Catholic,” the story spread like syphilis all over social media.
All the folks who stupidly fell for the “Smirking MAGA-hat-wearing taunter” story immediately went into breathless hysterics over the “This is MAGA Country” Hoax Crime story.
Like Ana Navarro (who, by the way, still hasn’t retracted her tweets about the Covington kids).
I can’t believe it either, Ana. That’s kinda the problem.
In spite of TMZ’s ridiculous claim, Chicago Police say the “this is MAGA country” thing didn’t happen.
But no matter. We have a President to destroy!
In fact, despite the lurid attention to detail from this actor with a funny name, Chicago police can’t find a thing to support the his claims.
They’ve combed through hundreds of hours of surveillance footage and can’t find hide nor hair of these MAGA super villains.
I’m guessing one of them is named Kaiser Soze.
On its face, the whole story defies logic.
CONFIRMED. I have pictures of the two MAGA hat Trump fans who assaulted Jussie Smollett at 2 am in Chicago. pic.twitter.com/Hj3ts08Mkt— Jesse Kelly (@JesseKellyDC) January 30, 2019
All these idiots have to do is not be insane.
But they just can’t help it.
Since Donald Trump was elected President, the number of Hoax Crimes has been through the roof.
And still, the mindless chuds and professional Outrage Merchants on social media fall for them every single time.
I’ll be honest. The second – and I mean the second – I found out about the latest in this never-ending string of Hoax Crimes, I knew it was a hoax.
Part of that is the news media has lost all credibility with me.
But in this particular instance, it’s because this actor’s entire story sounds like a plot so ham-handed and over-the-top, even the agenda-driven writers from Law & Order Special Victims Unit wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole.
Oh and he won’t be charged with any crime for making up a story— Julie Kelly (@julie_kelly2) January 30, 2019
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