Now Vegans want to police idioms

idioms

Say, did you know if you use phrases like “I can bring home the bacon” or “don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” you are offending vegans?

To be fair, what doesn’t offend vegans?

But according to the UK Independent, we just might need to ban these commonly-used idioms because they’re offensive … to folks who get offended by everything.

As research shows more people are removing animal products from their diets than ever before, Shareena Hamzah of Swansea University says idioms involving animal products could be rendered obsolete because they are out of touch with the zeitgeist.

Oh no! Heaven forbid I’m out of touch with the zeitgeist!!

I’d ask this guy (gal?) “what’s your beef?” But I don’t want the poor thing to collapse into fits of despair.

Just because you cut animal products out of your diet is no reason to police people’s speech.

Wait. I forgot. I’m talking about vegans here.

They get cheesed off about everything.

Writing for The Conversation, the researcher explains how meat-based metaphors are a popular staple of our everyday vernacular but that an increased awareness in the environmental and ethical issues surrounding meat production “will undoubtedly be reflected in our language and literature” and that this language may no longer be so widely accepted.

Why is it not enough for vegans to just eat their soy-based products and leave the rest of us in peace?

Life’s too short.

I mean for Pete’s sake, don’t we have bigger fish to fry?

Hamzah highlights the violent imagery proposed by popular idioms such as “flogging a dead horse” and “killing two birds with one stone” and suggests we may move to kinder alternatives such as “feeding a fed horse” or “feeding two birds with one scone”.

Oh, yeah. Those will really catch on.

Now, if I were Shareen Hamzah, I wouldn’t go counting my chickens before they hatch. The odds that “feeding a fed horse” will replace beating a dead horse aren’t particularly good.

After all, we’ve been using these sayings for centuries. Do vegans really expect us to give them up cold turkey?

Because I’m no spring chicken, I know that the etymology of many of our commonly-used idioms are completely obsolete. But that doesn’t stop us from using the idioms that sprang from them.

For example, “bite the bullet.”

With the advent of anesthesia and pain killers, we have not needed to have someone bite down on something while medical procedures are being done on them.

But we still use “bite the bullet” today.

We’re not fighting World War Two anymore. But we still use the term “the whole nine yards.”

Idioms don’t expire when the etymology of those idioms are no longer in fashion.

That’s barking up the wrong tree.

For Pete’s sake. “Bring home the bacon” has been around for nearly a millennia.

Vegans on the other hand, not so much.

Now, I realize that it is common for a new generation or a new fad to try and snuff out everything that came before it.

But that’s not how this works.

That’s not how any of this works.

Sure, you can say I’m so cold and unfeeling butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth.

And maybe you’d be right.

But I think once again, the vegans are biting off more than they can chew.

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8 thoughts on “Now Vegans want to police idioms

  • December 3, 2018 at 1:55 pm
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    There is room for all God’s creatures…right next to the mashed potatoes and gravy.

    If we are not supposed to eat animals, why did God make them out of meat?

    Reply
  • December 3, 2018 at 2:11 pm
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    I, and many like me live to insult vegans.
    Now I’m going to have to waste time researching idioms and categorizing them by animal.

    Reply
  • December 3, 2018 at 4:40 pm
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    I see what you did there Dianne, you weren’t sheepish in salting your post with animal based idioms. Indeed, you went whole hog. If I were a vegan (which thankfully I’m not) I’d certainly have a bone to pick with you.

    Reply
    • December 3, 2018 at 5:00 pm
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      If only I remembered to use “chew the fat.” Ah, well. Hindsight.

      Reply
  • December 3, 2018 at 6:10 pm
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    Better contact Mr. Erdogan and tell him to re-name his country.

    Reply
  • December 3, 2018 at 7:36 pm
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    Vegan, is a Lakota Sioux word meaning “poor hunter”…..

    Reply
  • December 5, 2018 at 12:18 am
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    Dianne, I’m impressed with how many ways you found to skin a cat in your article. And do these vegans really expect us to give up our idioms cold turkey?

    Reply
  • December 6, 2018 at 12:47 am
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    Vegans, individually and as a group, can go straight to hell.

    Reply

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