The Parable of the Virtue-Signaling Samaritan


Our Sunday reading today comes from the Gospel According to Leftists. The timeless story of the Virtue-Signaling Samaritan.

A man was going down the road from Jerusalem to Jericho when he was attacked by robbers.

They robbed him, stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away leaving him half dead.

And a priest happened to be going down the road when he saw the man. Instead of helping him, he passed to the other side of the road and went on his way.

Then a while later, a Levite came upon the man. He too passed to the other side of the road and went on his way.

But a Samaritan traveling to Jericho for a #TaxScam Protest saw the man. And he took pity on him.

He knelt down beside the beaten and bloodied man and said to him, “Oh, gee! Look at you! This is what happens when Republicans are in charge! People get beaten and robbed. You’re just so lucky you didn’t die! But don’t worry. I’m going to write a strongly worded tweet to my Congressman demanding that he oppose the tax bill.

“While I’m at it, I’ll start a hashtag in hopes that I can get it trending.”

He leaned in close to the beaten man and took a selfie with him. Then he posted it to Instagram with this comment: “Welcome to Trump’s America. Look what’s happened to this poor guy!”

Then he patted the beaten man on his head and told him to stay strong.

Then he too went on his way – content in knowing that he cares more about that beaten man than those stupid Republicans do.

After a time, the poor beaten man, still lying bleeding on the road, died from his injuries.

When the Samaritan heard the news, he changed his profile picture to a single candle. Then he screamed helplessly at the sky and shook his fist. “Oh, if only the Republicans weren’t so cold-hearted, maybe that man would still be alive!”

Okay, yeah. I know. That’s a bit on-the-nose.

But I think you get my point.

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One thought on “The Parable of the Virtue-Signaling Samaritan

  • December 3, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    Sometimes it just makes you want to give up.

    Then it occurs t you – What if Hillary had won and had congress on her side?

    They’d have simply accused the victim of “White Privilege.”

    Then they’d tighten the band around their fasces, forcing even more severe conformance, to destroy anyone who dare so much as disagree.

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