This portion of PatriotRetort.com brought to you by Political Life Alert.
Running for office when you can barely stand on your own two feet?
Are you prone to short circuit while on national television?
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Our rapid response Political Life Alert Team will divert all attention away from you and toward your political opponent.
Your frailties become his frailties.
The glaring lack of fitness for office you are prone to display will become his unfitness for office.
Whether in the polls or on the stairs — if you’re prone to falling, Political Life Alert is there to cover your ass.
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Political Life Alert is not available for Republican candidates.
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