Robot Hillary does not want to debate Trump

I finally took the plunge and started following Donald Trump on Twitter. Last night he sent out a tweet about the negotiations for the upcoming debate schedule between him and Robot Hillary Clinton.

Of course they are.

Look, Hillary Clinton is not a good debater. Just add that to the list of things she sucks at when it comes to being a candidate.

She is a horrendous public speaker. Which only goes to prove that those Wall Street firms weren’t paying her six figures because they were dying to hear her give a 20-minute screech.

She comes off as robotic and fake on the campaign trail — especially when she has to interact with actual human beings.

Actually, she’s robotic and fake whenever she is in public. The reason Hillary’s programming includes making ridiculous faces and barking out that maniacal laugh is she hopes that by doing so, we’ll start to think she might actually be made of human parts.

I Robot Hillary

Her public events are so carefully scripted and planned because, like most machines, Hillary is incapable of spontaneity.

And debates are spontaneous and unpredictable. Robots don’t make good debaters.

Hillary has several shortcomings when it comes to debating.

1. She does not like to be challenged … EVER.
Her sense of entitlement is such that she does not believe she ever has to defend herself or her positions. She answers to nobody. And, by golly, she shouldn’t have to!

2. She lies so much, she can’t keep her lies straight.
For the same reason Hillary avoids holding press conferences, Hillary wants to minimize debates. Get her off script and she just can’t keep track of what lies she’s going to tell. It’s the same reason her campaign events are such carefully crafted affairs. Where Donald Trump is comfortable off the cuff, Hillary is like a fish out of water, flopping around, desperately gasping for breath.

3. She’s a robot
Even with prepared remarks, Hillary sounds about as genuine as Siri. Actually, that’s not fair. Siri sounds way more human than Hillary. Debates keep Hillary off balance and off script. And because she is not a natural when it comes to public speaking, being thrown off script is deadly for Hillary. The most painful moments of the Democrat debates this past primary season came when Bernie knocked Hillary off script. She could never recover. She got defensive, shrill and waved her arms around like she was trying to land planes. Compared to Donald Trump, her debates against Bernie will be a cake-walk.

Donald’s debate style is so incompatible with Hillary’s preprogrammed responses, I fully expect to see smoke coming out of her ears midway through as her circuits all begin to overheat.

For all her snarky tweeting during the Republican debates, the truth is, even the thought of having to face Donald Trump probably leaves Hillary with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Sure, she talked a good game when she stood on the sidelines watching the GOP candidates getting into arguments and talking over each other. But to be thrown into that lion’s den is the last thing in the world Hillary wants.

In that kind of atmosphere, robot-Hillary’s circuits would fry.

One final thought. Hillary is a typical Democrat politician. She is used to Republicans who cave, who care more about looking like they’re moderate, malleable, and above all, polite. She, like every other Democrat, expects her Republican opponent to use Marquess of Queensberry rules.

Donald Trump is not that kind of guy. He’s a street fighter. He’s not afraid to grapple. Unlike Mitt Romney, for example, Trump isn’t going to hold back when the perfect opening for attack lands at his feet.

He won’t let moderators run interference for Hillary the way Romney permitted Candy Crowley to run interference for Obama.

Hillary will be forced to stand on her own two feet. As a result, she’ll end up with her Plasticine ass flapping in the wind while her circuitry whirs quietly in the background.

The DNC knows that. They know Hillary is a dreadful debater. Both they and Team Hillary know that the General Election Debates are notorious for swaying late-deciding voters. The last thing they want is for robot Hillary’s circuits to overload and short-circuit while tens of millions of voters are watching.

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5 thoughts on “Robot Hillary does not want to debate Trump

  • July 30, 2016 at 3:24 pm
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    #4 – They apparently were using Adderall or some other stimulant to make her more positive for the Bernie debates, quicken her responses and reduce the resting bitch face look. It worked. Unfortunately, it made her tend to go off on fanciful tangents that didn’t make any sense. It may also be causing her to get those weird spasms that end in loopy laughter. If that sh#t happens in a Trump debate, the results will be pretty ugly.

  • July 30, 2016 at 4:35 pm
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    Trump is the master of amygdala hijacking. Shrewbot is going to experience a coughing fit and stroke out when her aneyrysm busts.

  • July 30, 2016 at 9:47 pm
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    I can’t wait!! I am stocking up on popcorn and beer. It will be a great show. Will there be an pre-programed “out” for her? (i.e. three slaps on the matt, a secret code word that once uttered will automatically send the cameras to a commercial break, will there be paramedics on standby to rush in and take her out of danger, or have her Muslim Brotherhood handlers simply installed a cerebral reset button to reboot her, or a self-destruct/detonate switch)

    I think she should be subjected to a TSA full body scan and cavity search just for sh!ts and giggles. She wears something bulky under her pantsuits and Neru jackets. And get someone to check that lil freakshow Huma Abaden or friggin Vallarie Jarret for the transmitter. We could be talking a coup her folks. Ooopsie all the candidates have been eliminated and Lil Barry will be King for life.

  • July 31, 2016 at 6:58 am
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    ‘I think she should be subjected to a TSA full body scan and cavity search just for sh!ts and giggles.’
    You first.The thought of a cavity search on that repulsive hag is the definition of vomit-inducing.The mind reels with the thought of what her orifices could be holding.EEEWWWWWW!!!

    • July 31, 2016 at 11:43 pm
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      Ohhh Come-on Pete, don’t get squeemish just yet. Ha, Ha, Ha, You are right, it would be a NASTY job. I bet someone in the TSA would do it on a dare.

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