Soaking Wet Gate

Last night, President Trump committed the impeachable act of saying rally goers waiting on line for his North Carolina event were soaking wet.

HOW DARE HE?!!!

Twenty-fifth Amendment!!!!!

Clearly this is just yet another example of how unfit for office President Trump really is.

So says hard-hitting journalist Brian Stelter who fact-checked the weather to determine whether or not rally goers could possibly be soaking wet.

Sunny and 88 degrees in Fayetteville, North Carolina.

To hard-hitting journalist Brian Stelter, this proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that rally goers could not be soaking wet.

Really?

Having lived in North Carolina, I can tell you that if you arrive at a Trump rally a couple days in advance and hang around outside in the sun, you’re gonna sweat like a stevedore.

Is Brian Stelter a lizard?

Or is it just that he’s too lazy to drag his fat ass outside to notice that sun and heat make people sweat.  And sweat, in turn, will cause wetness?

Why else would deodorant commercials tell you to “stay dry all day” by using their product.

Could it be that sweating profusely makes you wet?

News flash, Brian: Sweat is wet.

It must have confused the crap out of Brian to see Beto O’Rourke’s shirt soaking wet while campaigning in the hot sun of Texas.

Soaking wet Beto

Nonetheless, there were faithful Trump Deranged ResistanceLOL members who believed Brian’s hard-hitting journalism on Soaking Wet Gate revealed something sinister about Donald Trump.

“If he means sweat, he should say sweat.”

Good grief.

These people need help.

President Trump didn’t say “They’re soaking wet because it’s raining outside.”

He said they’re soaking wet.

And, yes, you would be soaking wet if you were sweating like a stevedore while waiting hours on line to see President Trump.

This isn’t rocket science, people.

Brian is so desperate to find something, anything to prove that President Trump can’t be trusted, he’s become a perspiration-denier.

And thankfully for Brian, there are plenty of hateful Trump-deranged drones who will deny the science of perspiration right along with him.

It truly is laughable.

But as long as there are dimwitted morons on Twitter who nod in agreement like dashboard doggies, no sweat, folks, Brian will keep on making scandals out of nothing.

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2 thoughts on “Soaking Wet Gate

  • September 10, 2019 at 7:32 pm
    Permalink

    Brain Seltzer doesn’t sweat so I can see he’s confusion. His mommies basement is kept at a cool 69 degrees.

  • September 11, 2019 at 7:22 am
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    Jeff Zucker: Damn it Stelter! The Alabama hurricane bit didn’t work! What else ya got?
    Stelter: We got “people are wet”!
    Zucker: Brilliant! Run with it!

Comments are closed.