Those white people and their [spins wheel] Band-Aids!!!

Who knew Band-Aids were a symptom of White Privilege?

Racist Band-aids

Ah, okay, Bishop Talbert Swan.

You know, I think I’ve written about this guy before.

I don’t know anybody who goes searching for a Band-Aid that matches his skin color, do you?

It isn’t like finding the right make-up for pity’s sake.

Band-Aids don’t match anybody’s skin color.

Even that picture he posts kinda proves that. It isn’t like Where’s Waldo. I can see the damn Band-Aid on that arm because it doesn’t match the person’s skin.

Does anyone fear public scorn because the Band-Aid on his arm is a tone or two off?

“Honey, how about we eat out tonight.”

“What?!  I couldn’t possibly be seen in public!  My Band-Aid doesn’t match my skin!!”

Now, I’m an especially clumsy person.  It’s kind of a running joke with people who know me. They snarkily tell me I need to be encased in bubble-wrap just to make it through a day unscathed.  Oh, hardy-har.  It is to laugh.

But as a result of my lack of grace, I go through bandages the way most people go through Kleenex.

Remember Les Nessman from WKRP in Cincinnati?  Sure, you probably know him because of the “Drop Turkeys from a Helicopter” Thanksgiving episode.  But there was also a running joke on the show that Les always had a bandage somewhere on his person – a finger, an arm, his forehead.

Well, that’s pretty much how I am.

And nine times out of ten I use a white gauze pad and white tape – a color combination that would only be a match to Casper the Ghost.

But on occasion I also use Band-Aids (there’s one on my left middle finger now as a matter of fact). And the ones I currently have happen to be brown.  I bought these brown Band-Aids because Kinney Drugs had the 100-count, multi-sized box on sale.

I didn’t look at the sale box and say, “Oh, damn. These are buy one get one free. But they’re brown! I can’t possibly buy these because they don’t match my skin color!”

No, instead, I looked at the sale tag, said, “Cool! Buy one get one free!” Then I bought them.

It has never occurred to me to go to the drug store and ask for a Band-Aid that matches the exact tone of my skin. And I have never once thought to myself, “I’m so glad I’m white because it makes Band-Aid purchasing a breeze!”

Because I’m not insane.

This isn’t like matching your shoes to your belt for crying out loud.

Last winter I walked into an open kitchen cabinet door and had a big old gash over my eyebrow.  I cut a piece of gauze to cover it and then put white bandage tape over the top.  And you want to know something?  Not a single person said to me, “Oh, how gauche! Dianny, you didn’t skin-color coordinate your first aid choice!”

No. Most people said, “Good Lord, Dianny! Now what did you do?!”

And for his sake, I hope Bishop Talbert Swan doesn’t know that Band-Aid sells Barbie, Disney, Hello Kitty and Sponge Bob bandages!

Who knows how he’d take that news?

This Band-Aids are White Privilege claptrap is a prime example of what we call “First World Problems.”

Life must be pretty damn good here in the US of A if this guy has to resort to bitching about Band-Aid colors.

I mean, how easy is your life if you obsess about something so moronic and inconsequential?

This is the problem with a term like “White Privilege.”

It’s pretty much meaningless.

At this point, near as I can figure, the term White Privilege means “I’m desperate to be a victim.”

But if you have to get your victimhood fix from Band-Aids, seems to me, you’re really not much of a victim after all.

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13 thoughts on “Those white people and their [spins wheel] Band-Aids!!!

  • June 14, 2019 at 10:59 am
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    Bishop, please buy the clear band-aids, STFU and find something else to be outraged about.

    BTW, My left hand thinks that my right hand is a psychotic killer. I get the sale bandages too and never once thought about how they have never matched my skin color.

    Not. Once.

  • June 14, 2019 at 1:01 pm
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    Yep… What’s next? Toilet paper?

  • June 14, 2019 at 1:20 pm
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    Here’s a thought. Maybe Bishop “I’m so offended by the color of bandaids” Swan can get with other offended people and start his own company that makes “shaded” bandaids that will match all sorts of different skin colors and shades (which would mean making dozens of the same size bandaid in different colors (which would be expensive, but who cares, racism!!!).

    OR, buy a makeup coloring stick (or whatever it is called) and color your fricking bandaid yourself.

    • June 14, 2019 at 1:55 pm
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      exactly – if there is such a huge market for other color bandaids, then MAKE them – go get RICH!! Be one of the people berniedabern and libs hate…

      Always left wondering why the left hates job creators and success in general…

      • June 16, 2019 at 5:11 pm
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        Oh, no. Only filthy capitalists do this themselves. Approved orthodoxy requires a big lawsuit to force somebody else to make them.

        That’s the way it works these days.

  • June 14, 2019 at 1:53 pm
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    true story, my bride bought me cammo bandaids. 🙂 she is taken fellas so back off. 🙂

  • June 14, 2019 at 2:53 pm
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    Methinks that Bishop has WAAAAAY too much time on his hands! Dude, get a job!

  • June 14, 2019 at 5:30 pm
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    _Spins wheel_

    LMAO

  • June 14, 2019 at 8:32 pm
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    So, are my black pantyhose BLACK PRIVILEGE?

    Good Lord, but these people are freakin’ insane!

  • June 15, 2019 at 8:30 am
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    Trump is doing a great job if the color of Band-Aids is this guys biggest problem.

    Just imagine his outrage if black unemployment doubled under a president. Oh, wait. Obama was a (half) black guy, so that’s OK.

  • June 15, 2019 at 9:11 am
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    Yeah, why hasn’t some enterprising black dude come up Major Melanin Band-Aids for the Bishop? Seems like a no-brainer… unless your goal is just to complain and cry racism. If we crackers start Sharpie-ing our Band-Aids before we use them, would that make the Swan happy? Is that sensitive/inclusive/unracist enough? And how can we cover our wounds in a manner to soften life’s blows for our Tranny brothers(?)/sisters(?)?. They must really feel left out when all anyone talks about is skin color. Sigh. I need to go shoot my gun.

  • June 15, 2019 at 9:15 am
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    Yeah, why hasn’t some enterprising black dude come up with Major Melanin Band-Aids for the Bishop? Seems like a no-brainer… unless your goal is just to complain and cry racism. If we crackers start Sharpie-ing our Band-Aids before we use them, would that make the Swan happy? Is that sensitive/inclusive/unracist enough? And how can we cover our wounds in a manner to soften life’s blows for our Tranny brothers(?)/sisters(?)?. They must really feel left out when all anyone talks about is skin color. Sigh. I need to go shoot my gun.

  • June 17, 2019 at 11:36 pm
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    Some people who raise crops for food are WHITE! And some people who work at water treatment plants are WHITE! That makes food and water production racist. Lets all boycott until there’s equality.

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