Whelp. It’s Black Friday. The one day of the year that I absolutely refuse to leave the house.
Unfortunately for me, Thanksgiving was a day I didn’t leave the house either. Lupus reared its head in a big way Wednesday and I was so crippled I couldn’t go to my parents’ for Thanksgiving dinner. So I ate a scrambled egg sandwich in front of the TV while watching episodes of “Burn Notice.”
Can I do holidays right or what?!
And this morning, like so many of you, I was confronted with absolutely awful images on the Internet of Black Friday shoppers bludgeoning one another over flat screen TVs, sneakers and vegetable steamers.
And something about having to endure images of yet another post-Thanksgiving riot got me to thinking about something that has been rattling around in my head for about a year now.
I think it might be time to bring back the draft.
We have become a society of ungrateful, horrid little greedy, grabby whiners. Everybody wants something for nothing.
And it is most evident on our college campuses.
College students today are thin-skinned, navel-gazing crybabies so desperate to be victims they create elaborate hoaxes and whine over “micro-aggressions” while they scamper to their safe spaces.
But it’s nothing that six weeks with a drill sergeant screaming in your face couldn’t fix.
I’ve really been toying with the idea of reinstating the draft ever since Barack Obama started the drumbeat for “free community college” back in January of this year.
But when Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton doubled down on “free college,” the idea of bringing back the draft came roaring back.
But what really sent me over the edge on the idea was the collegiate temper tantrum called the “Million Student March.” I just couldn’t shake the mental picture of those spoiled, entitled leeches being subjected to a drill sergeant screaming for them to drop and give him fifty.
Ooo-rah! I’m right there with ya!
When the Mizzou protesters whined and kvetched over the fact that the Paris terrorist attack took their childish little protest out of the spotlight, I knew my draft idea’s time had come.
One of the things that is sadly lacking among these college students is the concept of “perspective.”
To them, an alleged “micro-aggression” is as harmful as being hit by a spray of bullets from an AK-47 while some barbarian hollers “Allahu Akbar.”
And trust me, nothing would knock some perspective into these overgrown children quite like having to be screamed awake every morning at five and forced to march twenty miles while carrying a 50 pound backpack.
For years now, Obama has been telling us we all need to have a little skin in the game. We owe it to the country to sacrifice and pay “our fair share.” We’re all being expected to do things we do not want to do — pay the taxes to give illegal aliens free healthcare, education, food and housing. Sign up for health insurance whether we want to or not. Redistribute the wealth because “it’s better for everybody.”
Isn’t it time we demand that these whiny little creeps actually earn the things they’re demanding?
You see, in the real world, there is no such thing as something for nothing.
If we have to foot the bill for you to go to school, then you owe us something in return.
And what better service could you do than military service to your country?
So here is the Dianny Draft Plan:
Spend two years in the armed forces and receive a 2-year community college degree tuition-free.
Serve four years and you can go to a state college and receive a Bachelor’s degree tuition-free.
You want something paid for by the American people, then pony up, buttercup. Spend your time serving the American people in the military.
Don’t want to go to college? Fine, after your time in the military, you can receive tuition-free training in a trade school to become a plumber, electrician, carpenter, auto mechanic, truck driver — take your pick.
In the Dianny Draft Plan, you will receive no deferment for being a college student. In fact, the only way you get to go to college is by serving in the military. All high school students will register for the draft and, upon graduating, will immediately be inducted into one of the five branches of the military — Navy, Army, Marines, Air Force or Coast Guard.
And so nobody can accuse me of waging a war on women, the Dianny Draft Plan would require both high school boys and girls to register for the draft, and serve their time.
Time to have some skin in the game, children.
Time to learn what it means to defend freedom and liberty.
And believe me, it’s time to think of someone and something other than yourself.
Imagine the transformation that will occur among the young people in this country if they actually learned discipline, following orders, weapons training, hand-to-hand combat, service to others, sacrifice, team work, honor, not to mention what hard work really looks like.
Imagine an entire generation of Americans who understand what it means to run toward the fight rather than a generation of Americans who trip all over themselves to run toward a “safe space” because of a “micro-aggression.”
If these young people really want to go to college tuition-free, then they should earn that privilege.
Because it isn’t a right.
And it isn’t free.
Millions upon millions of Americans will be on the hook for that “free” tuition. And those Americans deserve something in return. They deserve to get their money’s worth.
And, frankly, having to foot the bill so that little Johnny or Susie can graduate from college thinking freedom is optional, not being offended is a RIGHT, and their feelings matter more than the rights of others, isn’t really something that appeals to us.
But paying the taxes to send a veteran of the armed services to college?
Now, that’s a deal I’d venture to say most Americans would be willing to make.
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Books by Dianny:
RANT 2.0: Even More Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
Liberals Gone WILD!!! The Not-So-Silent Conquering of America,
RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
and two novels: Sliding Home Feet First and Under the Cloud