Well that’s discouraging

Well that’s discouraging

You probably noticed I didn’t post anything yesterday. For once, it wasn’t Lupus.  Though, honestly, I wish it was Lupus.  I had to make an unplanned visit to the doctor yesterday and now will be subjected to a number of tests and scans over the next week or so – including a biopsy.  Needless to say, this is somewhat discouraging news.

How could it not be discouraging?  Suffering from Lupus is irritating enough.  I’d really prefer not to add cancer on top of that.

Though, I did discover that it’s true.  There is a gut-wrenching feeling when the doctor says “cancer.”  I felt my stomach drop to my feet and the blood drain from my face.  And given that I have Lupus and always have a flushed, red face, that was a refreshing change.

Now, there’s as much chance that I don’t have cancer as there is that I do.  And only time and tests will tell.  So rather than crumble into a heap at the discouraging news, I’ve decided to simply wait and see.  Whatever the diagnosis, some form of treatment will be required.  I’m hoping for one of the less discouraging diagnoses – specifically any of the ones that don’t include surgery and chemo.

Sure, I’d love to lose 30 pounds.  But not like that.

The way I see it, spending the next couple weeks tearing myself apart with worry and anxiety is pointless.  If I work myself up into a lather now and the biopsy is negative, I’ll have wasted all that worry and anxiety over nothing.

However things shake out, it’ll interfere with my posting. So if you notice a steep reduction in posts over the next few weeks, it’s probably because I’m either lying in an exam room getting poked, prodded and scanned while freezing my ass off in a paper smock or I’m lying on the couch suffering from the aftermath of all that poking and prodding.

None of this is my idea of fun.  But it is what it is.

Whatever the case, I will do my level best to keep up with posting – if for no other reason than it helps get me out of my own head.

There are things in life we cannot change or control. This is one of them.  Rather than feel powerless over this discouraging news, I’ve decided to just accept it as one of those things that is out of my control. Better to just strap myself in while keeping my arms and head inside the car at all times and ride it out.

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Dianny’s new ebook, RANT: Derangement & Resistance in MAGA Country, is now available for purchase. You can find it at Amazon,Apple iBooksBarnes & Noble Nook Store, and at Smashwordsfor only $4.99!

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32 thoughts on “Well that’s discouraging

  • September 4, 2019 at 9:20 am
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    My prayers will be with you.

  • September 4, 2019 at 10:04 am
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    Oh no, I am crying as I type this. You have been more than a friend to me as I love visiting your site. I always visit and refresh the page each day in hopes of a new article.
    I am so devastated. I am praying for you and wish you a recovery down this road. I love you.
    All the best

  • September 4, 2019 at 10:16 am
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    Praying for you.

  • September 4, 2019 at 11:13 am
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    I was concerned when you didn’t post yesterday. Not concerned enough, though, it seems. 🙁

    {{brotherly hugs}} kiddo. You’ve got spirit to see you through this.

    The game changes but the basic rules stay the same: Make the most of every moment you get.

  • September 4, 2019 at 11:19 am
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    May God bless you and ease your pain. Your site is a daily ritual for me and you have been, are now and will be in my prayers.
    glenny

  • September 4, 2019 at 11:19 am
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    I had a scare a few years ago; I hope that’s all it is, but if not, we are on your side! Take good care of yourself and don’t fret about posting.

  • September 4, 2019 at 11:23 am
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    I was dismayed to hear of your new challenge. I offer heartfelt thoughts and prayers (the authentic kind that send liberals into convulsions).
    You are a valued warrior for truth.
    Be well, get well

  • September 4, 2019 at 11:31 am
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    Praying the tests will be negative and that God will help ease your worries.

  • September 4, 2019 at 12:06 pm
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    Oh no! It’s always something. You have many friends and admirers here. Even if we are far away, know we are thinking of you, and sending you prayers. You have not yet received the final diagnosis, so don’t convince yourself it’s the worst case scenario. If you do get that bad news, I have a feeling you’re going to fight like hell.

  • September 4, 2019 at 12:13 pm
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    Godspeed! Hope your fears are wrong!

  • September 4, 2019 at 1:03 pm
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    I’m always concerned when – like yesterday – you don’t post anything. Although I keep hoping it’s because you’re lying in a hammock under sunny skies drinking a pina colada, it’s always because the Bitch is Back!
    My philosophy has always been to never worry about something over which you have no control and certainly not until you’re sure there’s something to worry about. But I’m not sure I could pull it off under your current circumstances. I can only imagine how you must feel. I applaud your bravery and fervently pray along with your other adoring fans here that this is a false alarm.

  • September 4, 2019 at 1:07 pm
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    Ten year melanoma survivor here, and very very happy for life my life. Our prayers are for your continued good health and lifestyle

    ..

  • September 4, 2019 at 2:51 pm
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    God bless, Lupus Lady. Hope it’s a false alarm.

  • September 4, 2019 at 4:33 pm
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    Been there done that. I was lucky. You will be too.
    Godspeed Dianny Russell.

  • September 4, 2019 at 4:49 pm
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    I’m very sorry, Dianny. Praying for you.

  • September 4, 2019 at 4:53 pm
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    Dianny, don’t lose your sense of humor while you are getting poked and prodded. Try to find the humor in all of it–cold tables, paper robes, stethoscopes that are kept under the ice cream. Laughter will help keep the worries at bay, and I, along with your many friends and admirers, will be praying for you.

  • September 4, 2019 at 4:55 pm
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    <3

  • September 4, 2019 at 8:52 pm
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    praying, praying,praying

  • September 4, 2019 at 8:56 pm
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    Prayers.

  • September 4, 2019 at 9:12 pm
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    prayers to you … hang tough

  • September 4, 2019 at 9:19 pm
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    Don’t post, be silent, use all your body energy to defeat this illness.

  • September 4, 2019 at 9:31 pm
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    I am sorry to hear about your situation and hope nothing but the best for you in the days ahead. I hit your site several times a day looking forward to your thoughts/updates. In spite of your update this morning – the image/prayer you shared hit home this morning and your perspective was encouraging. Godspeed to you…

  • September 4, 2019 at 9:39 pm
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    I really don’t know you except through your postings on IOTW and your writing here. You strike me as a very strong confident woman and I will be praying that you maintain both qualities through wherever this takes you. Lots and lots of prayers, Dianny,

  • September 4, 2019 at 10:42 pm
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    I’ve always thought of you as a super strong “B-A” woman and have always prayed for your remission
    from the effects of the Lupus. Please be strong in this. I can’t stand the thought of you not being our
    “sarc” champion.
    Just look at it as my wife and I do: “If it weren’t for all our Dr. appointments, we’d have no social life
    at all!”
    Many thoughts and prayers for you!

  • September 4, 2019 at 11:03 pm
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    Philippians 4: 4- 9.
    Has gotten through my trials of life.

  • September 5, 2019 at 2:05 am
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    So sorry to hear it! I love your wit and the way despite your health issues you are amazing! My prayers are with you, be well…..:)

  • September 5, 2019 at 3:06 pm
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    Well if that ain’t a jab in the ass!! I’m having a strong worded talk with the Powers that Be tonight, cause it just ain’t right to scare the living daylights out of one of Your children that is already dealing with the LAST crap You threw at her!! Hard to tell someone who has been hit with the big ‘C’ word to not worry until -‘we get back in touch with you’-, but gotta tell you just that. Please try not to worry too much. Face wrinkle thing and all that. :p
    Angels being sent to you! Call on ’em and use ’em!
    {{{{{HUGS}}}}} & {{{{{♥}}}}}

  • September 5, 2019 at 8:03 pm
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    God Bless, Dianny

  • September 6, 2019 at 7:33 am
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    Tomorrow is not a promise, but a gift. Celebrate that gift every day as you would on a Christmas morning. The excitement you feel as you rush down the stairs to see what that gift holds. The opportunity to continue to do what you love best. The ability to fight the battles that must be fought. The serenity of completing a difficult task. Every gift, of every day, whether sparkling new watches or dreary underwear, a gift none the same. All of your fans here will celebrate yours, as we do ours, for many tomorrows to come.

  • September 6, 2019 at 11:07 am
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    My prayers are with you, and for you .
    I often find comfort in this response of Paul to trials of the physical…
    II Corinthians 12:7-10

    7Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! 8Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. 9And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong

  • September 6, 2019 at 12:04 pm
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    Dianny,
    I am praying that you may embrace God’s “peace that passes all understanding” during this
    journey…You will be comforted by the “immeasurable” love of your family and your countless friends
    and all of us your subscribers and readers!

Comments are closed.