Wesley Crusher makes the ultimate sacrifice

Wesley Crusher

Oh, look. Wesley Crusher is in the news again.

Speaking at a gun control rally in New Jersey Sunday, Wesley announced “I’m not going back to school on Wednesday until one bill is passed.”

When reader Roxanne sent me the link to the Breitbart story yesterday, I laughed so hard I scared the dog.

What a sacrifice Wesley is making.

Yes sir.

We all know that he wants nothing more than to get back to school and be done with these annoying, inconvenient television appearances.

But he’s willing to make that sacrifice all in the name of gun control.

The thing about children is they’re terrible liars.

I know because I was a child once. And I was a terrible liar.

And trust me when I tell you that Wesley Crusher is lying.

Of course, you can’t expect little Wesley to stand in front of a bank of cameras and say, “Listen, my booking agent has me scheduled on programs every day for the next three weeks. I just don’t have time to go to school.”

But if I had to guess, I’d say that’s the real reason he isn’t getting back to his ordinary, anonymous life.

And rather than admit the truth, he’s pretending his skipping school is some sort of political statement.

But here’s the thing. This is hardly a sacrifice on his part.

After all, what teenager wouldn’t love to have an excuse not to go to school? Especially if skipping school includes daily national television exposure.

But that’s fine. Let him continue being a daily guest on CNN. It will only hasten his overexposure.

Though, in all fairness, the journey to his overexposure can’t go any faster since it’s already traveling at warp speed.

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5 thoughts on “Wesley Crusher makes the ultimate sacrifice

  • February 27, 2018 at 10:02 am

    He doesn’t need an education anyways, CNN will hire him.

  • February 27, 2018 at 10:44 am

    And, then, there are those pesky truant officers.

  • February 27, 2018 at 10:55 am

    If he’s a legal adult, he doesn’t have to attend school. I have a feeling he is, and closer inspection would reveal he’s around 26 and using fake identification to hide his true identity.

    Even if parent’s allow their children to miss school, schools lose money when they do, have restrictions on what’s allowable, and many communities have criminal laws that apply to parents that are derelict in controlling their children.

  • February 27, 2018 at 11:59 am

    Plus, you just KNOW the kid is thinking he might get laid from all the attention.

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