You know the Clintons’ decision to launch a stadium tour was a bad idea when even the New York Times’ acerbic columnist Maureen Dowd is mocking them.
And, boy, howdy does Dowd mock them.
I almost feel sorry for Bill and Hill. Because when you lose Maureen Dowd, there’s really nowhere to go but down.
Dowd’s column Curtains for the Clintons is sure to prompt a round of dish-smashing and drunken raging the likes of which we haven’t seen since Bill’s little game of hide-the-cigar with Monica went public.
Maureen Dowd paid $177 for a ticket to Bill and Hillary’s Toronto show several weeks in advance.
Sadly for her, she could have gotten just as good a seat for less than ten bucks if she bought her ticket the evening of the event.
I’m looking around Scotiabank Arena, the home of the Toronto Maple Leafs, and it’s a depressing sight. It’s two-for-the-price-of-one in half the arena. The hockey rink is half curtained off, but even with that, organizers are scrambling at the last minute to cordon off more sections behind thick black curtains, they say due to a lack of sales. I paid $177 weeks in advance. (I passed on the pricey meet-and-greet option.) On the day of the event, some unsold tickets are slashed to single digits.
I get reassigned to another section as the Clintons’ audience space shrinks. But even with all the herding, I’m still looking at large swaths of empty seats — and I cringe at the thought that the Clintons will look out and see that, too. It was only four years ago, after all, that Canadians were clamoring to buy tickets to see the woman who seemed headed for history.
It’s a sad contrast with the sold-out boffo book tour of Michelle Obama, who’s getting a lot more personal for the premium prices. But introspection has never been within the Clintons’ range.
What I tell you?
I told you just two weeks ago that ticket sales for the self-delusional “An Evening with the Clintons” weren’t going nearly as gangbusters as the self-delusional Clintons expected.
I just cannot imagine the depths of denial in which the Clintons must exist that they actually believed they could fill sports arenas. As I said two weeks ago, Hillary couldn’t even fill an elementary school gym when she was running for President — and those tickets were free.
And, as hard as it is for me to admit, apparently Maureen Dowd agrees with me.
I can’t fathom why the Clintons would make like aging rock stars and go on a tour of Canada and the U.S. at a moment when Democrats are hoping to break the stranglehold of their cloistered, superannuated leadership and exult in a mosaic of exciting new faces.
What is the point? It’s not inspirational. It’s not for charity. They’re not raising awareness about a cause, like Al Gore with global warming. They’re only raising awareness about the Clintons.
It can’t be the money at this point. Have they even spent all the Goldman gold yet? Do they want to swim in their cash like Scrooge McDuck?
Well, of course it’s about the money, Maureen.
We’re talking about Bill and Hillary Clinton here. Every single thing they do is about their own financial enrichment.
They are two of the greediest money-grubbing parasites ever.
They have treated “public service” as a get-rich-quick scheme ever since Hillary was talking in a faux Arkansas accent while her husband the Attorney General of Arkansas was chasing secretaries around his desk.
Of course Dowd also has to include a few digs at President Trump. Because, she’s still Maureen Dowd.
But even despite that unsurprising bit of Trump Derangement Syndrome (she calls him “an orange puffer clown fish who will go down as one of the most destructive forces in American history and flushing the Obama legacy down the drain”), Maureen Dowd’s column reads like an obituary for the Clinton Dynasty.
And that was never more evident than in the close of her column:
Nothing they have done lately suggests that they have learned anything, including their obtuse post-#MeToo comments about Monica Lewinsky, who has been far more candid and sympathetic in the 20th anniversary retellings of the impeachment saga. The Clintons are still unable to hold themselves accountable. The formerly golden couple who dominated their party for nearly three decades is traveling North America in a bubble, shockingly un-self-aware.
Their pathological need to be relevant in America is belied by a Canadian arena, where stretches of empty seats bear witness to the passing of their relevance.
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