When your skewed poll goes horribly wrong

And the comedy gold just keeps coming! Cringe Candidate Eric Swalwell tried to rally folks to his side by posting a skewed poll on Twitter.

Now, skewed polls are pretty much the norm among actual pollsters. After all, responses will be more to your liking if you simply frame the question in such a way as to steer people to the answer you want them to choose.

So it’s hardly surprising that Swalwell took a leaf from their book and released his own skewed poll.

Only, Eric’s went horribly wrong.

When your skewed poll goes horribly wrong

Yeah, that’s about as subtle as a nuclear bomb, you dimwit. At least actual pollsters are more nuanced when they skew their polls.

Zero Percent Swalwell thought he had people painted into a corner, see.  You were supposed to think, “Golly, I don’t love guns more than kids!  That’s just awful.  Okay, I’ll choose ‘YES!’ even though Australia doesn’t have a Second Amendment and we do.”

But Eric is such a gormless nitwit, his diabolical plan to skew the results toward the direction he wanted sputtered out like a wet fart.

Sad that.

I’m sure he’ll waste no time blaming it on Russian Bots.

But it does have me wondering if the reason Eric can’t get above one percent in the polling is because those Democrat primary pollsters are also employing Swalwell-level skewed polls.

Could it be that respondents are presented with these options:

If the primary were held today, which of these candidate would you support?
Michael Bennet
Joe Biden
Bill de Blasio
Cory Booker
Steve Bullock
Pete Buttigieg
Julián Castro
John Delaney
Tulsi Gabbard
Kirsten Gillibrand
Mike Gravel
Kamala Harris
John Hickenlooper
Jay Inslee
Amy Klobuchar
Wayne Messam
Seth Moulton
Beto O’Rourke
Tim Ryan
Bernie Sanders
Joe Sestak
Eric Swalwell (that gormless dink who makes you cringe & can’t stop making a fool of himself)
Elizabeth Warren
Marianne Williamson
Andrew Yang

Then again, nah.  I’m guessing Eric is polling at zero even without the aid of a skewed poll.

But I stand by my statement yesterday.  I hope Eric Swalwell never drops out of the race.  He is the never-ending Gobstopper of self-owns.

Swalwell is such a horrible candidate, he makes John Kasich look good.

And, hey.  If the mailman’s son could cling to the primaries like a dingleberry all the way into May of 2016, why can’t this clown stick it out well past his expiration date too?

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10 thoughts on “When your skewed poll goes horribly wrong

  • July 2, 2019 at 11:56 am
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    Does he leave his shirt collar unbuttoned in the vain hope that even a trickle of oxygenated blood will enter his melon? I’m afraid I have some bad news for him.

  • July 2, 2019 at 1:57 pm
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    Swallwell’s problem with guns is the Nation’s problem with guns. It’s a purposeful [but futile] lack of ‘understanding’.
    Guns are “arms”. Arms are needed to kill every swinging d1ck of your idiot neighbors who needed a job (your “government”) when you tell them to pack their sh*t and go-home per the 2nd Paragraph of the Declaration of Independence, and those idiot neighbors don’t leave quietly, peaceably, and of their own volition. Ignorant MFrs will claim that the Declaration is not the ‘law of the land’, however, the only reason we HAVE a Constitution is because our original constitution (the Articles of Confederation) did not adequately obtain what we demand of/by/for/and from each other under the Declaration. The Bill of Rights was written because the Constitution wasn’t hitting it either (look it up). [Further, it’s not just in our founding documents. It’s the reason this country was founded, and history records the death of every useless government with at least the threat of extreme violence.]

    Therefore, the 2nd Amendment requires Parity of arms (not just guns) with our government, and it’s not our fault what that parity might entail.

    Anyone of your stupid neighbors who needed a job in your gov’t, pushing something ‘otherwise’ is merely their attempt to separate you from your right and “duty” to end them, so that they can attempt to do their satanic-communism.

    Believe otherwise at your peril.

  • July 2, 2019 at 2:38 pm
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    See, here is the problem I have with Duke Nuke ’em. My M1 Garand, actually purchased from the U.S. Government through their Civilian Marksmanship Program, is undeniably a “Weapon of War”, holds 8 rounds and functions semi-automatically. Has a bayonet lug, too. (Working on upgrading it to chainsaw mode.)
    By the definition of his proposal, the Government could actually “Buy it back.” Not for sale, though.

    • July 2, 2019 at 2:43 pm
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      That’s the only problem you have with the guy?!

      • July 2, 2019 at 4:25 pm
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        Just the one wrt this post. The day ain’t long enough to list and discuss all my issues with Captain Zero Percent.

        • July 2, 2019 at 5:11 pm
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          To be fair, my primary problem with him is eventually, he’ll drop out of the race.

    • July 2, 2019 at 7:25 pm
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      Wouldn’t the government have to own it in the first place before they could buy it back?
      I don’t recall ever buying any of my guns from the government.

  • July 2, 2019 at 3:15 pm
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    Are we sure he isn’t sperm of Bloomberg? Picture his face with about 30 years on it…

  • July 2, 2019 at 4:55 pm
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    He looks more like the spawn of an encounter between Dick Gephardt and Cincy QB Andy Dalton.

  • July 6, 2019 at 7:44 pm
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    F..K him…
    Enough ??

Comments are closed.