What began for me as Operation “Shed that damn post-flu tubby” has transformed into an exercise in body sculpting.
I got rid of the flu-related tubby pretty quickly. So quickly, in fact, it inspired me to just keep going.
Part of that is because exercise is really addictive. I’d forgotten that, what with battling Lupus since 2011. My targeted workout routine to get rid of the flu-tubby has now expanded to include every muscle group in my body.
Lupus sucks as a general rule. But one of the things that really frustrated me when Lupus began its attack nine years ago was watching as my well-muscled form got buried under an unwelcome layer of lard. My perfect V-shape was mutating into something more akin to a pear – which isn’t much better than the “Brian Stelter Potato” in my view.
The goal of this exercise in body sculpting is to excavate my previously toned and slender form that is hiding under the pear – like a sculptor chiseling away at a stone slab to reveal the perfect form hidden beneath.
I’m staying on my low-calorie, five-small-meals-a-day diet. And I’ve added several new strength training exercises, including my least favorite exercise – the dreaded pushups. Maybe it’s just me, but I truly hate pushups. Though, after a week of doing them, I’m starting to appreciate pushups in a way I never have before.
That isn’t to say I don’t still hate them. I do. But they’ve definitely earned from me a grudging respect.
This week, I began to notice more clearly that my V-shape is reemerging as I chisel away at the bloated pear that covered it.
I can’t tell you how good that makes me feel.
My neck looks longer. Don’t ask me why. It must be an optical illusion because I doubt neck growth is common when you’re in your fifties. My guess is it’s just getting thinner which makes it look longer. But that’s just conjecture on my part.
I am having a heck of a time keeping my pants above my hips. The damn things slide right off’em if I’m not careful. So I tend to walk around with one hand grasped firmly on the waist of my pants to keep them from slipping.
But considering I used to have the opposite problem with these pants – namely not being able to get them over my hips without an epic struggle — I’m not complaining too much. I just hang on to that waistband and go about my day with a song in my heart.
When I began Operation “Shed that damn post-flu tubby,” I was doing twenty squats while holding two 25-lb weights. Now, with my exercise in body sculpting, I am up to eighty squats while holding two 25-lb weights. That’s progress! It might also explain why I have to hold my pants up by the waist.
The best part about this exercise in body sculpting is rediscovering my trademark high cheekbones. Gosh, where the hell have they been?! They reemerged around the same time my neck started looking longer.
And as far as Lupus goes? Strengthening the muscles and tendons around my joints has resulted in fewer arthritis-like flare-ups. Lupus still does a number on my skin, and my hair is starting to fall out again. But, hey, glass half full, you know? Considering the arthritis flares were by far the most painful of my Lupus symptoms, I’d happily go bald again if it means never having to use that friggin’ cane.
Plus, I’ll never meet a jar I can’t open, that’s for sure.
I figure at this rate, by Christmas the new sculpted Dianny will be ready for unveiling. Of course, by Christmas, it will be hidden under several layers of warm clothes. Which is still preferable to several layers of pear-shaped fat.
Hit the Tip Jar!
Every dollar makes a difference! Hit the DONATE button in the side bar. Or, set up a recurring monthly contribution by choosing SUBSCRIBE.
Please White List Patriot Retort
Not everyone can afford to make a donation. But you can still help keep this site solvent by white listing PatriotRetort.com in your ad blocker. Ads help pay for this site and ad-blockers hurt that effort. I made sure that the ads that appear here will not obstruct or interfere with your enjoyment of the content. So please add PatriotRetort.com to your white list.