And the award for Most Delusional Candidate goes to …

On the eve of his fifth place finish in South Carolina behind the guy who dropped out, John Kasich appeared on Face the Nation this morning to urge people to consolidate support around him.

“People want to consolidate, they ought to consolidate my way,” he told host John Dickerson. “I finished second in New Hampshire, he [Rubio] finished fifth. I didn’t play in South Carolina and we’re going to go on March 1 to a number of states where we think we’re gonna do well. So it’s a matter of continuing on.”

John Kasich kind of reminds me of Alfalfa from L’il Rascals. Alfalfa always insisted on singing in the talent shows, but the kid just couldn’t carry a tune if he had a wheelbarrow and a forklift.

and the award for most delusional candidate goes to

John, honey. It ain’t gonna happen.

Now, I realize you have this vision of yourself as the “good compromise between Hillary and Bernie.” But you made the mistake of running for the Republican nomination.

Face the music, Johnny boy. It just isn’t going to happen.

Get off your ego trip, honey.

We’re just not that into you.

If you really care about the country as much as you claim, you would get the hell out of this race and give a more viable candidate a better chance of coming out on top. All you are managing to do is split the vote like a black-belt splitting a two-by-four.

Sorry. I had to do a Karate joke.

Speaking of which.

Listen, John. If you really want a new career, how about seeing if you can get ABC to do a remake of the old seventies TV show, “Kung Fu.” You got the chops for that my friend. Provided you can take this pebble from my hand.

And remember. The wise man walks with his head bowed. Humble like the dust.


 
Kung Fu Kasich

If you like the work at Patriot Retort, please consider contributing

Hit the tip jar DONATE button in the side bar. Even a few bucks can make a world of difference!

Share, share, share

3 thoughts on “And the award for Most Delusional Candidate goes to …

  • February 21, 2016 at 9:57 pm
    Permalink

    I think John is hoping he can win in Ohio and the Election Fairy will do the rest.

  • February 22, 2016 at 9:17 pm
    Permalink

    I’ll never see Alfalfa the same again. 🙁

Comments are closed.