Babbling Old Man threatens to cancel July 4th

Babbling Old Man threatens to cancel July 4th

If you people don’t do as you’re told and get vaccinated, that babbling old man in the White House is threatening to cancel July 4th.

How does one cancel July 4th exactly?

Will there be some kind of Presidential Proclamation declaring that we will go from July 3rd to July 5th?

I had no idea a President had the power to remove a date from the calendar.

And here I thought losing an hour for Daylight Saving Time was tough.

On the plus side, if your birthday falls on July 4th, you get to stay the same age until 2022. So, silver lining.

Of course what old Joe is referring to here is his March dictate that if we’re all good little boys and girls, he might, might mind you, permit us to gather in small groups to celebrate our Independence from tyranny.

But Daddy isn’t happy. Six weeks after making this dictate, he doesn’t think we are taking him seriously enough. So he just might need to order us misbehaving scamps to curtail our July 4th plans entirely.

In a way it tickles me that Grandpa Joe actually thinks he has the power or influence necessary to compel you to cancel July 4th plans. Talk about delusions of grandeur.

I’m trying to imagine the person who is excitedly planning a big, blowout Independence Day celebration and because of this Presidential threat is now on tenterhooks because Joe might cancel July 4th.

Does that person actually exist?

I suppose the idiots in Michigan who gullibly thank Gretchen Whitmer for keeping them safe or the slack-jawed fools who bought Andrew Cuomo’s stupid book would probably do something like that. Then again, those people wouldn’t dream of celebrating Independence Day to begin with. They’re far too busy hiding in their homes, driving alone with a mask on or calling the police on their sane neighbors.

If this babbling old idiot declares July 4th cancelled, take a leaf from John Hancock’s book and make your Independence Day celebration so big even squinty-eyed old Joe can see it from the White House.

Hat tip the New York Post.

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6 thoughts on “Babbling Old Man threatens to cancel July 4th

  • April 22, 2021 at 10:25 am
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    I’m going to be shopping for some big, high flying fireworks that spell “up yours joe” when they explode in splendor out here in the Buffalo Commons. Of course, that will be a bit after the neighborhood cookout with beers, brats, and burgers, with NO masks allowed, and distancing discouraged.

    • April 22, 2021 at 11:14 am
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      Did all that last year and will do it again this year!!

  • April 22, 2021 at 12:13 pm
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    Living in a city named Independence, the 4th is magic here. Joe can kiss my sweet Patriotic bum. We’re having the 4th & won’t be asking for permission or forgiveness.

  • April 22, 2021 at 8:45 pm
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    Bah, humbug. And I suppose you’ll want the entire July 4th off? Well, be here July 5th all the earlier.

  • April 23, 2021 at 3:07 pm
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    Joe Chi Mihn and ‘Dr.’ Falsi (“people should just do what they’re told”) can kill my pearly white a$$. I don’t ask permission from my employees.

    • April 23, 2021 at 3:08 pm
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      Kiss, dammit. I hope I wasn’t projecting…

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