Clearly Leftists are not Bible Scholars

Last night as I was settling down to bed, I made the mistake of picking up my iPhone and wandering onto Twitter. [Note to self: no Twitter before bed.]

Turns out, Leftists are using the Bible to both defend their suicidal position on the Syrian refugees and berate Christians for being hypocrites.

The only problem is, clearly Leftists are not Bible Scholars.

They know the Bible about as much as they know the Koran.

Which is kinda the problem.

Ben Shapiro from Breitbart retweeted this gem:

Who is Jill Filipovic?

Well, she’s not a Bible scholar, that much I can tell you. But she is a columnist for the Guardian and a feminist blogger.

Theologians do tremble.

I couldn’t resist. I mean, ordinarily, I don’t bother trying to school Leftists on Twitter. It isn’t exactly the Lyceum, you know. Genuine philosophical debate is not particularly effective in 140 characters or fewer.

I replied to her tweet:

And though it may not be the Lyceum, some people were educated:

But it got me thinking that it may be time to revisit a column I wrote at Christmastime last year when that other noted Biblical scholar, Barack Hussein Obama, was also using Joseph and Mary in Bethlehem to peddle his “Executive Amnesty” known as DAPA.

And, much like the Appellate Court wasn’t convinced by Barry’s legal defense, I wasn’t particularly convinced by his Biblical defense.

So, as a reminder, here’s my column from December, 2014 called “Big Government: Inconveniencing Families for 2000 Years.”

Big Government: Inconveniencing Families for 2000 Years – December 10, 2014

Well, hell. It’s snowing. And it’s been snowing for more than twelve hours. From the looks of things, the snow isn’t fixing to stop any time soon.

To some, the sight of all this snow inspires the holiday spirit. The whole, “Oh, look outside, honey. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!”

In the interests of full disclosure. I am not one of those people.

I love Christmas.

But I hate snow.

But I’ll play along.

Oh, wowie! Look everyone! Snow!

Nope. Sorry. Just isn’t working for me.

Any old how.

During a town hall in Nashville, Barack Obama once again proved to the world that he knows absolutely nothing about the Bible [hat tip Breitbart]. You see, Joseph and Mary, according to this noted theologian, were homeless wanderers forced to hole up in a stable.

If you have been a regular reader of mine, this particular theme will sound familiar because I touched on it last Christmas.

You know. The last time Barack Obama, Biblical Scholar declared that Mary and Joseph were illegal aliens who had no home in Bethlehem and had to live in the shadows of a stable.

Now, I’m probably not as knowledgeable a Biblical Scholar as Barack Obama.

You see, I only hold a measly Bachelor’s Degree in Biblical Studies.

However, permit me to provide Barack with some, oh, what’s the word, context.

Rome was a micromanaging, Big Government that loved to stick its nose into the lives of the people who lived under its rule.

Sound familiar?

Okay.

Moving on.

During the time of Caesar Augustus, when Quirinius was the Governor of Syria, Rome decreed that a census be performed. Now, the Roman Postal Service didn’t mail everyone a seventeen page form to find out how many people lived in your home, do you have health insurance, how many are gay, or what color your skin is.

Instead, they forced everyone to return to the city of their birth where they would be registered for the census.

So, if you lived in Nazareth, but were born in Bethlehem, you had to pack up your family and set out for Bethlehem in order to be counted in the Big Government Census.

Joseph, being from the House of David, was from Bethlehem.

So, despite the fact that his wife Mary was exceedingly pregnant, they had to pack a bag and make the trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem to be in compliance with the Roman census decree.

I’m sure some pencil-pushing hag named Loisius Lernerus was sitting in her office in Rome making sure that the Jews were super-inconvenienced by this census.

But that’s just conjecture on my part and in no way substantiated in the Bible.

Joseph and Mary were not relocating to Bethlehem.

Joseph and Mary were not sneaking into Bethlehem illegally so that Joseph could become an olive-picker in the fields while Mary made beds in Bethlehem’s one and only inn.

They were mandated by the Roman Government to haul their fannies to their city of birth in order to comply with a governmental decree.

And they weren’t the only ones having to do it.

Everyone who was born in Bethlehem, along with their families, were also making the trip.

Now, Bethlehem wasn’t Miami or Las Vegas. It wasn’t known for all of its ample tourist accommodations.

As a result, there was precious little room for all these people mandated by a government decree to return to Bethlehem and be counted in a Big Government Census.

Since accommodations were limited, and Joseph had himself an enormously pregnant wife, they found a place protected from the elements and slept there.

It happened to be a stable.

You see. Joseph and Mary were not illegal aliens.

They were complying with a Big Government mandate.

If you want to take something away from this story about the circumstances that brought them to the stable, it should be:

Big Government: Inconveniencing Families for 2000 Years

Inconveniencing Families for 2000 Years

Let’s face it. Had Rome not decreed this census be taken in the manner it was, Joseph and Mary would have welcomed their baby to the world from the comfort of their own home in Nazareth.

Obama wants to use the story of Jesus’ birth as a lesson. Sadly, as is usually the case with Obama, he failed to get the right lesson.

They were not homeless people, but citizens inconvenienced in order to comply with a government mandate.

They were not illegal aliens, but citizens forced to take a trip at a difficult time in order to comply with a government mandate.

But, don’t be too hard on Obama.

If I had attended a church where the minister told his congregation that “G*d-Damn America” is in the Bible, I probably would be a little confused as well.

Of course, Obama also claimed in this same town hall that the Bible says, “Don’t throw stones in glass houses.”

Ah, yes. If I’m not mistaken, Solomon installed plenty of double-pane, energy-efficient windows when he built the Temple in Jerusalem. They went nicely with the solar panels on the roof. Turns out the reason Solomon was so wise was because he was Green Compliant.

Obama, some advice. The problem with trying to convince Christians to support your Unconstitutional Amnesty by misquoting the Bible is most of them probably know the Bible better than you do. They know that the Bible doesn’t say anything about glass houses since, well, you know, glass houses didn’t exist. And they know that Mary and Joseph were not homeless, illegal vagabonds who jumped the border into Bethlehem in order to get the Roman equivalent of Food Stamps.

Jesus isn’t a cat’s paw for you to pull out and utilize to sell your illegal, unconstitutional acts.

Truth is, Jesus wasn’t ever very keen on people abusing the religion of his “folks.”

Those who tried to profit from pilgrims by setting up booths within the Temple were promptly, and might I add, violently expelled by Jesus.

Stick to your strengths, Barack.

Quote the Koran.

Quote Rules for Radicals.

Jesus isn’t a campaign prop. So, please. Leave the Bible alone.

And at this special time of the year, Barack, permit me to leave you with this passage from Proverbs, Chapter 10:
“A fool finds pleasure in wicked schemes, but a person of understanding delights in wisdom.”

And now, I have to go shovel snow.

If you like the work at Patriot Retort, please consider contributing

Hit the tip jar DONATE button in the side bar. Even a few bucks can make a world of difference!

Books by Dianny:

RANT 2.0: Even More Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
Liberals Gone WILD!!! The Not-So-Silent Conquering of America,
RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
and two novels: Sliding Home Feet First and Under the Cloud

You can find my e-books at all of these fine stores:smashwords.com, Amazon Kindle Store, Apple iTunes, and Barnes & Noble Nook Store.

Check out DiannyTees.com — my Conservative & Christian T-shirt Store.

Share, share, share

5 thoughts on “Clearly Leftists are not Bible Scholars

  • November 17, 2015 at 11:27 am
    Permalink

    Very Well Said, erh uhh, Written. Thank you again for your interesting perspective on a wide array of subjects and articles/blogs on this sight. It is GREAT.

  • November 17, 2015 at 6:13 pm
    Permalink

    Outstanding!

  • November 18, 2015 at 10:14 pm
    Permalink

    Most excellent commentary!!!!! However, one disagreement-Joseph and Mary were not married at the time of Jesus’ birth-they were “engaged” at the time. Their marriage came later.

    • November 18, 2015 at 10:23 pm
      Permalink

      Yes. You are correct. She was pledged to be married to him when they left to go to Bethlehem. Quite right about that. My error.

Comments are closed.