Send the calls to voicemail, put the kids to bed early, and get ready folks. Tonight is the season premiere of Dancing with the Tards.
Are you excited?
Do you have plenty of TV-watching snacks? You can’t watch Dancing with the Tards without plenty of Milk Duds and Sour Patch Kids on hand.
Who am I kidding?
Nobody except the news media and the dried-up members of the ResistanceLOL is going to tune in to tonight’s Made-for-TV drama from the January 6 select committee.
Law & Order Special Victims Unit could come up with a more believable, compelling tale.
If you’re as old as I am, you may dimly recall the Watergate hearings. If you’re older, maybe it isn’t so dimly.
Those hearings were boring as hell. But people watched it. You know why? There were only four channels: ABC, CBS, NBC, and PBS. That’s it.
There were no VCRs, let alone DVD players or streaming services. And there sure as hell wasn’t an Internet.
If you wanted to have the set on during the Watergate hearings, sorry folks. It was the only show in town.
Dancing with the Tards is premiering at a time when we are saturated with entertainment options that allow Americans choices other than these ass cracks and their hearing over a riot that everyone except the Democrats and the media has long moved on from.
When the news broke that police arrested a man who traveled to Maryland yesterday to murder Justice Brett Kavanaugh at his home, the first thought I had after my initial “Holy shit” thought was, “oh, those poor dopes from the January 6 committee.”
Trust me, they were not happy about an attempted assassination of a Supreme Court justice happening just one day before the premiere of Dancing with the Tards.
Now, they aren’t pissed about it because it’s horrible that someone tried to kill Kavanaugh; they’re pissed because the story rained all over their parade.
They’ve spent the last 17 months trying to convince the country that Trump-supporting right-wingers are the biggest threat to “our democracy” and “our institutions.” And in one fell swoop, some 26-year-old guy blew that narrative to smithereens.
If you’re anything like me, you stopped giving a shit about January 6 by about January 8, 2021.
As I said back in November, “The Left’s incessant habit of pushing too hard and too far resulted in January 6 rolling off of me like I’ve been Scotch-Guarded.”
And I am not alone.
In a recent Harvard/Harris poll, 40% of voters named skyrocketing prices and inflation the most important issue facing the country today. The economy and jobs came in second with 30%. And people named January 6? Only 5%.
Every news channel except Fox News will be airing tonight’s season premiere and only 5% of the country gives a shit.
But they just keep pushing.
Not only is Dancing with the Tards being broadcast during primetime rather than during the day, but the committee also hired a former ABC producer to oversee the production.
Like it’s the freaking Academy Awards.
Say, do you think we can get Will Smith to walk up and slap Adam Kinzinger in the face? I’d tune in for that just to watch Adam cry.
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