You know, it doesn’t take an expert to decipher Clintonesque claptrap. Really, anyone who endured the Clinton Presidency will be an old hand at deconstructing Hillary’s bull.
The Clinton playbook isn’t exactly vast, and, given the fact that they found themselves embroiled in so many scandals during Bill’s time in office, recognizing plays is pretty easy.
As I listened to Hillary’s statement yesterday, I spotted the playbook standbys: the Clinton Deflection to Others Defense, the Clinton Self-Promotion Deflection and, from the largest section of the playbook, the Clinton Standard Lies.
First up in Hillary’s statement was the Clinton Self-Promotion Deflection.
It’s a common Clinton move to open by patting yourself on the back for all your good work. This serves two purposes, it simultaneously makes your critics look petty by pointing out how significant your work is while it makes you look so superior and above the petty fray.
So, Hillary opened with her fine work to bring equality to women throughout the world.
(except, well, in Muslim countries and on her staff)
The Clinton Playbook: Hillary Edition has a special section called “Remind everyone you are a woman and any criticism of you is sexist.” Of course Bill’s playbook has a corresponding section: “Avoid talking about women because it calls attention to you being a lecherous old horn-dog.”
By calling attention to her great work on behalf of women’s rights, Hillary hoped to make this email scandal seem petty. How dare we mere mortals question her private server out of her home when her “passion for this fight burns as brightly today as it did 20 years ago.”
Next up from the Clinton Playbook: the Clinton Deflection to Others Defense.
Hillary and Bill love this particular maneuver as it gives them an opportunity to attack the “vast rightwing conspiracy” and Republicans in general — a group of people the media love to attack.
And Hillary handled it deftly.
“I want to comment on a matter in the news today regarding Iran. The president and his team are in the midst of intense negotiations. Their goal is a diplomatic solution that would close off Iran’s pathways to a nuclear bomb and give us unprecedented access and insight into Iran’s nuclear program.
“Now, reasonable people can disagree about what exactly it will take to accomplish this objective, and we all must judge any final agreement on its merits.
“But the recent letter from Republican senators was out of step with the best traditions of American leadership. And one has to ask, what was the purpose of this letter?
“There appear to be two logical answers. Either these senators were trying to be helpful to the Iranians or harmful to the commander- in-chief in the midst of high-stakes international diplomacy. Either answer does discredit to the letters’ signatories.”
Problem is, Hillary seems to forget that Americans have lived through eight years of the Clintons in the White House, eight years of Hillary as a Senator, one year of Hillary running for President and another four years of Hillary as Secretary of State.
Hillary has what we on Planet Earth call a “track record.”
And when Hillary was a Senator, she was all manner of “harmful to the commander-in-chief,” George W. Bush. And, when someone pointed it out to her, she responded in her usual high-pitched, nasal shrill:
“I’m sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and you disagree with this administration, somehow you’re not patriotic. We should stand up and say we are Americans, and we have a right to debate and disagree with any administration!!!”
(Unless of course the Administration is Obama’s and you are Tom Cotton).
Any old how.
Now that Hillary carefully set up the moment the press was waiting for with the proper deflection tools from the Clinton Playbook, she got down to brass tacks and went to the largest section of the playbook: the Clinton Standard Lies.
First. She did it for convenience so that she wouldn’t need to carry two devices.
The Clintons always start with the most transparently stupid lie in the universe. Sure, this doesn’t rise to the level of “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never asked anybody to lie. Not a single time,” but Hillary was never as slick as Bill.
But nonetheless, the “I did it to not have to carry two devices” Lie is, well, not to put too fine a point on it, a moronic lie.
It is possible to receive emails from two separate POP accounts on one device. I know this because when I was the Operations Manager for a landscaping company, I had both my personal email and my work email on my phone. So, that’s just a stupid excuse.
Not only that, the AP pointed out, that Hillary, just recently, bragged about her collection of devices.
Said Hillary just weeks ago: “I’m like two steps short of a hoarder. So I have an iPad, a mini iPad, an iPhone and a BlackBerry.”
Oh, sweet merciful Zeus!!! What an INCONVENIENCE!!!
The next lie is another one common in the Clinton Playbook: “Tell a lie that cannot possibly be disproved.”
She turned over all of her work-related emails from her personal account and deleted all of her personal emails that nobody needed to see.
Said Hillary, “At the end, I chose not to keep my private personal emails — emails about planning Chelsea’s wedding or my mother’s funeral arrangements, condolence notes to friends as well as yoga routines, family vacations, the other things you typically find in inboxes. No one wants their personal emails made public, and I think most people understand that and respect that privacy.”
You see, there is no way to prove her wrong. Isn’t that convenient?
She claims to have turned over everything of import, but only deleted emails about “yoga routines” and “personal notes?”
How do we know this? How can we ever know this?
That’s kind of the point. The one thing that could have proven her right is revealing the “personal emails” but of course, she conveniently deleted them.
The 1990s called. They want their Clinton excuses back.
But notice the other slick thing Hillary did in this lie. She points out Chelsea’s wedding, the death of her mother, condolence notes. Boy, those Clintons are experts at laying on pity. How can we be critical of Hillary who has suffered the death of her mother? How can we think ill of a woman who was simply planning the wedding of her one and only child?
Huh? See? Deftly handled.
Those Clintons. I’m telling you. They really have mastered the art of dishonesty.
Aren’t we getting sick of the same Clintonian bullshit?
We’ve lived through all of this for the last 25 years. We know the Playbook by heart!
Honestly, nothing these people say passes the smell test anymore.
And, finally, before opening up to carefully-selected questions, Hillary said this:
“Fourth, I took the unprecedented step of asking that the State Department make all my work-related emails public for everyone to see.”
Again. How do we know this? She allegedly deleted all the yoga routine emails, so how do we know she turned them over?
Note the use of the word, “Unprecedented.” Use of a word that makes it sound as if you are going far above and beyond what any mere mortal would do. That is so Clinton.
The first question out of the box was tailor-made for a Hillary Clinton excuse-a-thon.
As I said in my opening, The Hillary version of the Clinton Playbook includes the “Remind everyone you are a woman and any criticism of you is sexist.”
The question: “If you were a man today, would all this fuss being made be made?”
Honestly, I could have scripted this press conference before it happened.
To believe Hillary, one would either have to have lived under a rock since 1991, or been born yesterday.
For the rest of us, this came off as your typical Clinton bull.
As someone on Twitter pointed out, during the questions, Hillary rarely made eye contact with anyone, and when she did, she looked mighty angry.
The truth is, she was never as adept at lying as Bill.
Hillary has been caught.
She knows it.
We know it.
And because she doesn’t have the charm of her husband or the full-throated support of the Democrat Party machine, Hillary will have one hell of a time surviving this scandal.
And let’s face it. The only reason Hillary got as far as she did in public life is because she was carefully shielded by the press.
The fact that even Liberal journalists and television commentators are criticizing her, it’s clear that shield has been lifted.
All bets are off.
And she’s got a bumpy road ahead.
Diann Russell is the author of
RANT 2.0: Even More Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
Liberals Gone WILD!!! The Not-So-Silent Conquering of America,
RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
and two novels: Sliding Home Feet First and Under the Cloud
Diann is the owner of DiannyTees.com — a Conservative & Christian T-shirt Store.
She is a political dissident residing in The People’s Republic of New York.