I’ve been AWOL since Thursday. My apologies. I had a bit of a mishap late Thursday night that’s made staring at a computer screen somewhat painful and difficult.
Now, admittedly, I’m not the most graceful person on the planet. But Thursday night’s mishap was a new one even for me.
See, I woke up from a sound sleep needing to pee like eight big dogs. Unfortunately, I wasn’t awake enough to successfully navigate the short journey from my bedroom to the bathroom. Long story short, in my stumbling stupor, I walked face-first into the bedroom wall several feet away from the door.
How? Who the hell knows? But, holy mackerel, I really nailed myself in the face. I hit the wall so hard that my nose smashed into my face, prompting me to utter an otherworldly “UNGH!”
On the plus side, the collision woke me up enough to find my way to the john.
On the minus side, the mishap caused my head to stuff up so badly I couldn’t breathe through my nose for love or money.
After I got back into bed, I couldn’t stop laughing at the “UNGH!” I don’t know why that cracked me up, but it did. Every time I replayed that moment, I chuckled.
It wasn’t until I got up Friday morning that I discovered the mishap had given me a bad nosebleed, my nose was double its normal size, and both of my eyes had blackened from the impact.
Then the blinding sinus headaches started.
Friday morning, the headaches were so bad that I couldn’t get through all my assignments for work and had to finish up Saturday morning.
The mishap didn’t break my nose, which is a mercy. But it certainly didn’t leave me unscathed either. The stuffed-up sinuses and the accompanying headaches are downright debilitating, and I’m hoping like hell I didn’t cause a deviated septum.
Since I can breathe through my nose when I’m slightly upright, I spent the weekend propped up on the couch riding waves of nausea from the massive sinus headaches that are plaguing me.
I’m feeling a little less shitty today, thank heaven.
And since Thursday’s mishap, I’ve wised up. Now when I get up at night to pee, I’ve been careful to walk with my hands outstretched to avoid it happening again.
What an ever-loving nightmare.
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