Dianny’s recovering from a … well … mishap

Dianny’s recovering from a … well … mishap

I’ve been AWOL since Thursday. My apologies. I had a bit of a mishap late Thursday night that’s made staring at a computer screen somewhat painful and difficult.

Now, admittedly, I’m not the most graceful person on the planet. But Thursday night’s mishap was a new one even for me.

See, I woke up from a sound sleep needing to pee like eight big dogs. Unfortunately, I wasn’t awake enough to successfully navigate the short journey from my bedroom to the bathroom. Long story short, in my stumbling stupor, I walked face-first into the bedroom wall several feet away from the door.

How? Who the hell knows? But, holy mackerel, I really nailed myself in the face. I hit the wall so hard that my nose smashed into my face, prompting me to utter an otherworldly “UNGH!”

On the plus side, the collision woke me up enough to find my way to the john.

On the minus side, the mishap caused my head to stuff up so badly I couldn’t breathe through my nose for love or money.

After I got back into bed, I couldn’t stop laughing at the “UNGH!” I don’t know why that cracked me up, but it did. Every time I replayed that moment, I chuckled.

It wasn’t until I got up Friday morning that I discovered the mishap had given me a bad nosebleed, my nose was double its normal size, and both of my eyes had blackened from the impact.

Then the blinding sinus headaches started.

Friday morning, the headaches were so bad that I couldn’t get through all my assignments for work and had to finish up Saturday morning.

The mishap didn’t break my nose, which is a mercy. But it certainly didn’t leave me unscathed either. The stuffed-up sinuses and the accompanying headaches are downright debilitating, and I’m hoping like hell I didn’t cause a deviated septum.

Since I can breathe through my nose when I’m slightly upright, I spent the weekend propped up on the couch riding waves of nausea from the massive sinus headaches that are plaguing me.

I’m feeling a little less shitty today, thank heaven.

And since Thursday’s mishap, I’ve wised up. Now when I get up at night to pee, I’ve been careful to walk with my hands outstretched to avoid it happening again.

What an ever-loving nightmare.

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22 thoughts on “Dianny’s recovering from a … well … mishap

  • September 12, 2022 at 8:55 am

    Get well, Dianny ! Hoping this new work week finds your pain better than it was last Friday !!


  • September 12, 2022 at 12:48 pm

    Put a night light in your bathroom. You’re welcome.

  • September 12, 2022 at 1:07 pm

    Ouch! Feel better soon, Dianny!

    I will second the nightlight recommendation. Especially since you have a cat who might be lurking who knows where in the dark. Sneaky little critters, cats.

  • September 12, 2022 at 2:40 pm

    Be glad you don’t live in a two story house. One night I had to get up for the same reason, and I had two choices – take the doorway to the right and enter the bathroom or go left through another doorway to the stairway going downstairs. Being half asleep I took the left.
    Let me tell you, stepping off the top step with nothing underneath will wake you up painfully as you tumble down the stairs putting your head through the sheetrock wall at the bottom is a very rude way to awaken.
    Lucky I didn’t end up with all sorts of broken bones from that experience.

    • September 12, 2022 at 3:25 pm

      I live in a 2-story, 100-yr-old house. After 14 years, I’ve taken the fast way down the stairs more than once. But as a general rule, I tend to fall going up the stairs. I’m the female John Cleese.

      • September 13, 2022 at 8:13 pm

        Now I am picturing Dianny doing the Silly Walks routine. LOL

  • September 12, 2022 at 4:49 pm

    (1)… Midnight runs are a coin toss but I do hope your headaches have subsided and you’re feeling better.
    (b)….raccoon eyes is never a good look !
    (3)….That’s a lot of pee to hold in while your slamming into walls, Especially walls that might be 100 year old plaster.

    Carry on

  • September 12, 2022 at 4:53 pm

    In our prayers

  • September 12, 2022 at 6:40 pm

    Sorry to hear about your accident. My rental house just has one toilet, and it is not close to the bedroom. Therefore I have three nightlights that provide just enough illumination to get me “there and back again.” It was either that or get one of those Home Depot 5 gallon buckets. 🙂

  • September 12, 2022 at 7:19 pm

    Hope you’re feeling better. As a retired surgeon, it is my duty to inform you that raccoon eyes from trauma to the nasal area is the sine qua non of a broken nose. It is probably a small break, and may not be displaced, but it is surely broken. The good news is no specific therapy, other than some initial cold packs, is necessary. It will heal just fine and you’re not going to look like Raging Bull. Eagerly awaiting your take on Kameltoe’s assurance that the “border is secure”!

    • September 13, 2022 at 4:00 pm

      My Dad used to box. He thinks I broke it too. Having never been nailed directly in the nose before, I just presumed that since it didn’t feel like the time I broke a bone, my nose came out unscathed. Right now I’d just settle for not having the constant river of snot. I’ve gone through half a box of Kleenex for crying out loud. And don’t get me started on the damn sinus headaches.

  • September 12, 2022 at 10:45 pm

    Good lord, lady. Ain’t Lupus enough?

  • September 13, 2022 at 10:17 am

    Ow ow ow ow ow, D!

    Several minutes ago, our wild doggy knocked a bottle of water off the table and right onto Milady’s bare toes. Severe owies. So, I just read this post to her. Cold comfort that another has it worse, but sympathy.

    I have one of those small LED flashlights on my bedside table. Even with that, sometimes, it’s hard to navigate the clutter. One chewed-up tennis ball can definitely change one’s trajectory.

  • September 13, 2022 at 10:59 am

    I did the same dang thing one night on my way to the bathroom. Fortunately, my walls are made of drywall, not plaster and I hit it (hard) and bounced back off of it. It would have been funny if it hadn’t hurt so dang bad. After that, I always turn the light on at my bedside.

    I’ve already broken an ankle from a fall, so I’m a freak about not falling again. I’m 71, and I know that old saying about people dying after a broken hip. Ain’t happening to this old girl! 😆

    • September 13, 2022 at 11:13 am

      It gets worse, marcy. I’m 76.

      I tried a motorcycle safety course this summer, after ignoring my bike for the past ten years and paying a fortune to make it roadworthy again.

      It turns out that my balance ain’t what it used to be. Wanna buy a motorcycle?

  • September 13, 2022 at 5:42 pm

    OK I laughed and gasped at the same time.
    I hope you’re doing much better by now!!!

  • September 13, 2022 at 9:19 pm

    Alexa keeps me safe – “Master on,” and the lights blaze forth!

  • September 13, 2022 at 11:50 pm

    for reasons like this, i no longer go upstairs to bed…..broke my back in 1967 falling down the stairs…..have fallen down right next to the stairs several times lately…..cats continue to try to trip me on the stairs….i DO NOT LIKE stairs……i avoid them like the Chinese Virus….

    i would like to sleep with my husband, but we don’t both fit on the couch….

  • September 14, 2022 at 8:38 am

    Sorry for your mishap. I got a motion activated nightlight. That helps.

  • September 14, 2022 at 11:41 am

    600mg Ibuprofin, 500mg Tylenol, and ice packs. You will feel better fast.

  • September 17, 2022 at 8:42 pm

    Hope your feelin’ better soon Dianny … I’ll know you will survive it … You have that blessed gift of a good sense of humour … I tell ya , these days ya need it ! …

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