Zika Strikes Democrat Leaders
Exclusive report from the Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service roving correspondent Disloyal Subject.
The dreaded, mosquito-born Zika Virus has struck in Washington, DC and doctors are baffled.
Unlike the defects associated among normal humans, Democrats stricken with the virus appear to react differently to the disease. While their entire bodies have become grossly deformed, their heads remain the exact same size.
“Frankly, we’re stunned,” says an infectious diseases doctor from the CDC. “Our only working theory right now is Zika has no effect on the size of the human head if that human head contains no functioning brain.”
Doctors from the CDC are urging citizens not to mate with Zika-infected Democrats in Washington.
“Honestly, we just don’t know what kind of birth defects would be caused as a result,” the CDC doctor said. “Better to practice abstinence than to find out. In fact, it might be wise to avoid co-mingling with any Democrats just to be on the safe side.”
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