I’m sure you’ve heard the term mission creep. It’s made a comeback now that the United States is bankrolling a proxy war with Russia. But today, I want to talk about another form of mission creep, namely Fiction Creep.
Like mission creep, fiction creep is when one thing slowly begins to transform into something it never was intended to be.
Fiction creep isn’t a general term that applies to many things. Instead, it is a specific term (invented by me) describing how mundane real-life events in Joe Biden’s life eventually transform into something that never happened.
Let me give you a few examples.
From 2017 to 2019, Joe Biden held an honorary “professorship” at the University of Pennsylvania that consisted of making four speeches. But now, that factual story has transformed into complete fiction, with old Joe frequently claiming he was a full professor at the University of Pennsylvania — teaching classes, giving lectures, the whole nine yards.
Then there’s the factual event in which Joe Biden was briefly separated from the rest of a congressional delegation at the airport in South Africa during a 1976 visit. After several years of fiction creep, that factual event transformed into “I was arrested on the streets of Soweto while trying to visit Nelson Mandela on Robben Island.”
Then there’s the factual event in 1973 when then-Senator Joe Biden met Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir. In this case, Biden transformed the facts into such a bad work of fiction, it made no sense at all.
See, the fictional version of this 1973 meeting transformed to “I served as a special liaison between Golda Meir and the Egyptian government during the 1967 Six Day War.”
I mean, come on! Joe Biden was still a law student at Syracuse University during the Six Day War and Golda Meir wasn’t even the Prime Minister of Israel.
Another example is the 2004 kitchen fire at Joe’s home in Wilmington, Delaware.
According to a report from the Associated Press in 2004, lightning struck the house and started a “small fire that was contained to the kitchen.” It took firefighters about 20 minutes to get the fire under control and keep it from spreading to the rest of the house.
But over the years, Biden’s fiction creep transformed the story in whatever manner made it more appealing to the audience hearing it.
In a 2013 speech to the 25th Annual National Fire and Emergency Service Dinner of the Congressional Fire Services Institute, Biden claimed firefighters and EMTs saved Jill’s life after a “significant portion” of their house burned. Hell, they even rescued his 1967 Corvette.
Unless the Corvette was parked by the refrigerator in the kitchen, it was never in danger.
Last November, Biden repeated his fictional account of that kitchen fire.
During a speech in New Hampshire promoting the newly-passed bipartisan infrastructure bill, Joe was fearmongering about the potential death and destruction that would await us without functioning roads and bridges when he again recounted that he had a house “burn down with my wife in it.”
And in the last week, Biden brought up that damn 20-minute kitchen fire not once, but twice.
Last Wednesday, while touring the devastating destruction from Hurricane Ian in Fort Myers, Florida, Joe said this to those people who just lost everything:
“I know from experience how much — how much anxiety and fear and concern there are in the people. We didn’t lose our whole home, but lightning struck and we lost an awful lot of it about 15 years ago, and we had a lot to go to. We had relatives nearby. It wasn’t like everything was wiped out.” [Emphasis mine]
Unless that kitchen took up 75% of the house, they didn’t lose “an awful lot of it.”
But the House Fire Fiction Creep wasn’t over.
Just six days later, Joe crept even further during a White House summit on fire prevention and control on Tuesday.
In this version of events, the fire that, in reality, was contained to the kitchen and under control in 20 minutes, nearly cost the lives of two firefighters.
“In addition to that, what happened was … I uh I was … I was doing ‘Meet the Press,’ and lightning struck a little pond behind my house, came up through the ground, into the air conditioning system. Ended up generating this thick, black smoke literally … literally that … of those proportions. And from the basement to the third floor, the attic, everything was ruined. And the kitchen floor — we almost lost a couple firefighters, they tell me, because the kitchen floor was … the … burning between beams in-in-in the house, in addition to almost collapsed into the basement.”
At the rate Joe’s fiction creep is moving, by January, his version of that kitchen fire will include half of Wilmington burning to the ground while planes fly overhead dumping water from the sky. And he’ll cap it off by recounting his own brave act of derring-do, rescuing an innocent child from the inferno.
And since equity is the order of the day, no doubt the child he rescues will be black.
Why does Joe Biden engage in fiction creep?
Well, because Joe Biden is an inveterate liar. Joe started inventing many of these tall tales long before dementia began devouring his brain.
This is why more than 35 years ago, Joe was claiming he graduated in the top half of his class at Syracuse University Law School when, in reality, he graduated 76th out of a class of 85 people.
He inflates his personal story to make himself look far more important than he is because he craves adoration but is deserving of none.
He does it in a futile attempt to connect to his audience to compensate for the fact that he is too self-centered and narcissistic to possess genuine empathy.
And he does it because he is a deeply vainglorious little asshole. This is why no matter what the subject, event, or audience, Joe Biden has to find a way to make it all about him, even if he has to transform himself from the ineffectual career politician into the hero of some magnificent flight of fancy.
The only role his dementia plays in Joe’s fiction creep is that now he can’t remember which stories are fact and which are fiction.
In the make-believe world of Joe Biden, he is always the brave, plucky hero whose every dull real-life moment is just waiting to be mined for fictional gold.
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