Happy Deep-fried Turkey Day!

Happy Deep-fried Turkey Day!
From Gilmore Girls “A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving”

It’s Thanksgiving.  Or, as the ResistanceLOL calls it “Memorize talking points so you can be an obnoxious automaton” Day.  As someone who really hates turkey, I call it Thursday.

Well, I hate turkey except when it’s deep-fried turkey.  That’s actually pretty tasty.

I used to have a turkey fryer.  But do you have any idea how much oil you have to use to deep-fry a turkey?  Sure, turkey is cheap.  But buying the oil makes deep-fried turkey one of the most expensive foods on the planet.

Better to just buy a really expensive cut of beef.

Actually, for today’s Thanksgiving dinner I’ll be having a couple hardboiled eggs and Greek yogurt for dessert.

I got struck with the inevitable pre-holiday head cold.  You probably guessed I wasn’t in top form since my posting has been sparse this week.  With the stuffed up head, the sore throat, the incessant sneezures, the chills and sweats, and the late-night coughing fits, I’ve been a wreck since Monday.

And since my Mom was in the hospital last week and is still very weak, the last thing I want to do is spend the afternoon breathing my germs all over her.

So instead of heading out to Mom and Dad’s for Thanksgiving, I’m heading out to the living room couch where I will lie down with a dog on my legs and a cat on my stomach.

Wooo-hooo!!!  Do I know how to party or what?

I thought I might watch the movies “Red Dragon” and “The Silence of the Lambs” if for no other reason than to be thankful that Hannibal Lecter isn’t cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

Who the hell knows what he stuffs his turkey with.

Any old how.

I hope all of you have a lovely Thanksgiving. Enjoy your family. And if you do have ResistanceLOL relatives who insist on turning Turkey Day into Jerky Day, make up a card table in the garage where they can glumly eat their tofurkey in peace.

Now Available!

Say, I bet this would make a great Christmas gift!

Dianny’s latest ebook, RANT: Derangement & Resistance in MAGA Country, is available at Amazon, Apple iBooksBarnes & Noble Nook Store, and at Smashwords for only $4.99!

Hit the Tip Jar!

Every dollar makes a difference!  Hit the DONATE button in the side bar.  Or, set up a recurring monthly contribution by choosing SUBSCRIBE.

Please White List Patriot Retort

Not everyone can afford to make a donation.  But you can still help keep this site solvent by white listing PatriotRetort.com in your ad blocker. Ads help pay for this site and ad-blockers hurt that effort.  I made sure that the ads that appear here will not obstruct or interfere with your enjoyment of the content.  So please add PatriotRetort.com to your white list.

Share, share, share

15 thoughts on “Happy Deep-fried Turkey Day!

  • November 28, 2019 at 11:06 am

    Happy Thanksgiving.
    I tell that to all my liberal friends. They all say Happy Thanksgiving too.

  • November 28, 2019 at 11:20 am

    Sneezures, never heard of them. I learn something every time I visit Patriot Retort!!

    When I saw that picture above of the “pre-dropping” of the probably damp turkey into the hot oil my first thought was “RUN FOR THE HILLS”.

    • November 28, 2019 at 1:38 pm


  • November 28, 2019 at 11:46 am

    Thank you for all you have done for me
    Blessed are those who believe and have never seen.

    • November 29, 2019 at 4:34 pm

      I did two deep fried turkeys for two holidays in a row and was bothered by the difficulty of disposing of once-used peanut oil. I then switched my method to the Butterball oil-less fryer. The cook time is on par with boiling in oil and the flavor seemed to be just as good.

  • November 28, 2019 at 12:07 pm

    Were I to even think about putting my daughter + family in the garage my wife would gut me!

    It is in part my fault. I’m a conservative D; she is a far left D. But our politicks are reversed – she loves GWB hates DJT; I hate GWB love don! I also love her! And her kids

  • November 28, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    Happy Thanksgiving and here’s hoping you and your mother feel better very soon.
    (P.S. I used to deep fry turkeys in oil but 2 years ago I bought an oil-less turkey fryer. Not expensive and the turkey tastes as good, or better, than one fried in oil. )

    • November 28, 2019 at 1:40 pm

      Ditto – called The Big Easy – works wonderfully – but no gravy

      • November 28, 2019 at 2:52 pm

        My wife takes the innards and cooks giblet gravy on the stove. Yum!

  • November 28, 2019 at 1:31 pm

    I’m thankful for this blog & the others I’ve found because of it.
    My main course is going to be traditional stuffing wrapped in sliced turkey wrapped in meatloaf wrapped in bacon!
    Food coma here I come…

  • November 28, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    Hey you, wondered if you got the garlic and catnip?
    Prayers for you and yours.

    Proverbs 27:9
    Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

    • November 28, 2019 at 2:25 pm

      I did. Thank you. Didn’t you get my message?

      • November 29, 2019 at 1:59 am

        A Happy and a Blessed Day after Thanksgiving to the PatriotRetort, its followers and Dianny the Great.

        • November 29, 2019 at 11:27 am

          You lifted my day after reading the blessing of your post. Thank you!

      • November 30, 2019 at 10:07 am

        No, your email address got kicked back – kitty like the baggy?
        Prayers for mum’s healing and always for you.

Comments are closed.