This post is sponsored by the Hillary Clinton Racism Decoder Whistle.
Are you unable to hear the hidden racism in Donald Trump’s statements?
Afraid that your Trump-supporting neighbor might be a closet Klansman?
Are you married to a man with a “Make America Great Again” hat? Do you live in terror that he’s just moments away from burning a cross on someone’s front yard?
You need the Hillary Clinton Racism Decoder Whistle!
This handy device can translate any innocuous statement into a frothing, Neo-Nazi clarion call.
Simply blow with all your might at the sound of anything said by a Republican. The Hillary Clinton Racism Decoder Whistle will translate it from its coded language into flat-out racism.
If someone says, “I want to bring jobs back to America.” One blow of your whistle and you will hear “I am a big fat racist with a white sheet hidden in my closet.”
You’ll never be taken in by “America first” again when you have the Hillary Clinton Racism Decoder Whistle. One blow and you’ll know it means “I hate Mexicans.”
Give it a toot when someone says “God bless America.” You’ll be stunned to discover it really means “Where’s the nearest Klan rally? I’m running late.”
Bring up Breitbart.com on your computer screen and blow the Hillary Clinton Racism Decoder Whistle at your monitor and the text instantly translates to the original German.
As an added bonus, any time you blow your Hillary Clinton Racism Decoder Whistle at a radical Islamist shrieking “Allahu Akbar!” he instantly turns into a gentle little lamb!
No. We’re not crazy conspiracy whack-jobs.
Make your check payable to the Clinton Foundation. In the memo line write “Decoder Whistle.”
But wait! There’s more!
Order before midnight, and not only will you get your own Hillary Clinton Decoder Whistle. We will throw in a custom-made Tinfoil Hat with “Make America Stupid and Paranoid Again” written on the front.
Send us an even one million dollars, and you will be able to have a private meeting with Hillary Clinton (but only if you want her to sell you some uranium mines or send billions in taxpayer money to your despotic regime).
Don’t miss out! Get your own Hillary Clinton Decoder Whistle while supplies last!
Hit the tip jar!
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