Hillary’s biggest campaign expense must have been Make-up

The campaign is over.

The private plane has been denuded of its Hillary accoutrements. No more “Stronger Together” emblazoned on the side.

The army of staffers are decommissioned and the hillaryclinton.com email addresses quietly removed.

All that campaign money to create the façade of a future president silently dries up.

And if Hillary’s first public event since her concession speech is any indication, the phalanx of beauticians and make-up artists who transformed this walking corpse into a living human being for every public event have also been let go.

Maybe it was Maybelline.

Yesterday, Hillary appeared at a gala for the Children’s Defense Fund and went on stage looking like a few hundred miles of bad road.

Hey, I have Lupus. You should see me after a four-day flare. I look like death warmed over. The circles under my eyes meet up somewhere around my chin.

I can’t imagine how bad I’d look after a Lupus flare if I were still a falling-down drunk.

My guess is, in the last nine days, Hillary spent more time three sheets to the wind than sober.

And that kind of binge takes its toll on anybody.

But it is brutal for one who is already so unwell.

According to a R. Emmett Tyrell from the American Spectator, my Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service story of last week may not be as wildly inaccurate as we thought.

From Tyrrell’s piece:

Sources have told The American Spectator that on Tuesday night, after Hillary realized she had lost, she went into a rage. Secret Service officers told at least one source that she began yelling, screaming obscenities, and pounding furniture.

And this, which seems to come straight out of my “inaccurate” report:

She picked up objects and threw them at attendants and staff. She was in an uncontrollable rage. Her aides could not allow her to come out in public. It would take her hours to calm down.

Well, she might have calmed down. But from the looks of it, Hillary still hasn’t recovered.

Frankly I’m surprised her staff would permit her to go in public yesterday looking as bad as she did.

Perhaps they felt Hillary’s grizzled and haggard features would elicit pity. After all, when it comes to Hillary Clinton, playing the Victim is far more effective than playing a gracious Leader.

It’s also much easier for her to pull off.

You really have to admire the herculean task performed by her highly paid make-up artists. It is quite a feat to transform that face into one that wouldn’t frighten children and prevent cows from making milk.

Just compare her visage from last night to that of the final debate against Trump.



I’m telling you. Those make-up artists deserve a medal or an Academy Award.

It’s like a before and after shot from an episode of “Extreme Make Over.”

Pulling off that kind of transformation can’t be cheap.

I can understand them giving up Granny Air One. I can even understand letting the army of staff writers and consultants go.

But the least Team Clinton could have done is keep one make-up artist on retainer in the event Hillary is ever seen in public.

Just preventing the mockery and insults at her expense would make it worthwhile.

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7 thoughts on “Hillary’s biggest campaign expense must have been Make-up

  • November 17, 2016 at 10:10 am


  • November 17, 2016 at 10:42 am

    She’s sicker than we thought……obviously held together and operational with duct tape and lube.

  • November 17, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    Yes, the make-up and the 16 people to trowel it on.

  • November 17, 2016 at 2:46 pm

    That’s just scary. They must have also taken the wig.

  • November 17, 2016 at 8:04 pm

    That there is scarier than the bathtub scene in The Shining!

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