How long before Liz Warren hops on a skateboard?

You know, I’m actually starting to pity Liz Warren.

And by pity her, I mean the same way I pity the over-the-hill matron who pays a plastic surgeon to inject crap in her lips and pull her skin tighter than a painter’s canvas so she can appear younger than she is.

I pity Liz because she is trying too hard to look hip, young and with-it.  And, unfortunately, it comes off about as authentic as a putting a schoolboy uniform and a propeller beanie cap on Bernie Sanders.

Liz attempted to capitalize on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s popularity by filming her own “hanging out in my kitchen drinking a beer” Instagram video.  And when that was roundly mocked, a more secure, self-confident person would have immediately stopped doing that kind of nonsense.

But Liz Warren isn’t secure or self-confident.

So instead, Liz just kept doing the embarrassing Instagram videos.

But now it looks like Liz decided to add emulating Beto O’Rourke’s frenetic, ants-in-the-pants on-stage delivery to her repertoire.  And it’s all kinds of embarrassing.

Last night, CNN hosted a town hall with Liz where she hoped to set herself apart by advancing an agenda that is identical to every other Democrat presidential candidate.

Check out these two brief clips I saw on Twitter. You can watch them with the sound down, because it isn’t what Liz is saying, but how Liz is acting that matters.

I know Beto is all about the hand gestures but at least he’s never done this one. #WarrenTownHall pic.twitter.com/G6ugwnwyLZ

— Kate Hyde (@KateHydeNY) March 19, 2019

She’s running. #WarrenTownHall pic.twitter.com/WY9Nt0HeOV

— Kate Hyde (@KateHydeNY) March 19, 2019

Good grief.  You have to admit, that’s painful to watch – especially that “run across the stage for no reason” moment.

Hey, it works when Beto does it, right?

At this rate, I can’t help but wonder how long before Liz enters stage left riding on a skateboard?

Will she have her staff spray her with water so when she takes her jacket off it appears she’s sweating profusely?

Does Liz Warren have one single thing about her that is genuine?

Sure, she’s jettisoned the faux Indian heritage schtick.

But rather than simply come out as herself, Liz would rather replace one phony schtick with another and another and another.

Much like Hillary’s constant “reintroductions,” Liz keeps trying to redefine who she is.  But she’s doing it by adopting the style and mannerisms of whichever politician is in vogue.

By next week, Elizabeth Warren will be standing on top of a counter at a coffeehouse, flailing her arms and bemoaning her white male privilege.

I can totally picture Liz’s team binge-watching the campaign footage of Beto O’Rourke trying to determine which quirky mannerisms would work best if Liz did them.

And it makes me pity her in that “Oh, man. This is just so sad” kinda way.

I’m so embarrassed for her, I suffer a full-body cringe just watching those brief videos.

And no amount of copy-cat window dressing can alter the fundamental reality of who Liz Warren is.

She’s a shrill, authoritarian scold with no sense of humor and absolutely zero charm.

And nothing can change that – not beer-drinking Instagram videos and certainly not bopping around on stage while furiously gesticulating like she’s Tony Robbins on meth.

She isn’t the fresh young face like Alexandria.

She isn’t cool and hip like Beto O’Rourke.

And thinking for one moment that pretending she is will appeal to young voters is pitiful and foolish.

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