I have a Frankenbrow

I have a Frankenbrow

Now, you’ve probably been thinking my sparse posting this week was due to Lupus. But you would be wrong. I’m not having a Lupus flare; I have a Frankenbrow.

Tuesday I smacked my head when I was getting up off the floor after my ab workout. Within seconds the Frankenbrow formed over my left eye.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, later in the afternoon, I walked into the edge of an open kitchen cabinet door, and it hit me right smack on my Frankenbrow. The skin, already stretched and swollen split like an overripe peach.

Good grief, there was blood everywhere.

My kitchen counter looked like I slaughtered a pig.

This is me and my Frankenbrow.


Somewhere under that swollen mess is my upper eyelid.  But since it’s red, black and blue, I’m okay with it not being visible.

Needless to say, I’ve been feeling just the eensiest bit ooky ever since. Nauseous, headachy and kinda cranky.

Despite my new Cro-Magnon look, I did my full workout regimen on Wednesday.  Boy, was that a tremendously stupid idea.  Doing 240 crunches when you’re sporting a Frankenbrow isn’t the cake-walk you’d think.  So yesterday, I skipped my workout entirely in order to give my concussed noggin a chance to rest.

I’m feeling a little better today. It only hurts if I frown or if I touch it, or if I squeeze my eye shut. And, really? Who squeezes their eye shut? The ookiness is less ooky, and the headache isn’t so splitting. Though right now I should probably go lie down.

This is one of those times that I wish Lupus hadn’t come for my hair. At least bangs would’ve hidden the monstrosity. But having a Frankenbrow when you’re bald as a Dr. Evil? Well, you might as well paint the damn thing neon yellow.

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7 thoughts on “I have a Frankenbrow

  • August 7, 2020 at 2:18 pm

    Come on, Dianny: ab workout injury to the eye, huh?; walking into a door?…that’s like saying the dog ate my homework. You were really in Portland, weren’t you? 😉

  • August 7, 2020 at 3:43 pm

    Would garlic help?

    • August 7, 2020 at 4:20 pm

      I don’t know. But my neighbors are all outside with pitchforks and torches wanting to burn my castle down. I’d fend them off, but I have this overwhelming urge to don a tuxedo and sing “puttin’ on the Ritz.”

      • August 10, 2020 at 11:34 pm

        I was taking the trash out Saturday night, slipped on the black slime that grows on the cement, that I’ve been meaning to pressure wash , dislocated my shoulder, most ripped my eyebrow off & destroyed my $300 glasses. 12 stiches 2 black eyes & over night in the hospital. You look like a prom date compared to my dumbass.

  • August 7, 2020 at 4:10 pm

    Internet is filled with toe fungus cures but not a word about Frankenbrow. I hear there’s a specialist in Baja but she’s all booked through October.

  • August 8, 2020 at 5:27 pm

    Wow! Double whammy.
    (a Dianny whammy.)
    That sucker oughta be blue-green by now.
    I hear leeches are good for that. 😎

  • August 8, 2020 at 6:20 pm

    Ice it now and then til it shrinks.
    Get better quick!

Comments are closed.