I’m beginning to suspect the poop rumor is true

I’m beginning to suspect the poop rumor is true

Last weekend, a rumor went around social media that President Biden had a “bathroom accident” while visiting Pope Francis at the Vatican. Naturally, #PoopyPantsBiden and #PoopGate began trending on Twitter.

When I saw the initial tweet that set off it off, I didn’t believe it. The person who started it is the former Nevada GOP Chairwoman. She didn’t say how she heard about it or from whom. So the whole rumor sounded sketchy from the start. Unless it was the loudest sphincter evacuation in the history of the universe, how would she know?

Not surprisingly, Snopes fact-checked the poopy pants rumor, concluding that a rumor isn’t a fact. You guys worked that out all on your own? Great job, Snopes!

I wasn’t even going to write about PoopGate at all since I figured it was nothing but an internet rumor.

But then last night, the Daily Mail reported that Prince Charles’ wife Camilla “hasn’t stopped talking” about Joe Biden cutting a very audible fart while they engaged in a little small talk at the Glasgow Climate Summit.

An “informed source” told the Daily Mail that Joe’s flatulence was “long and loud and impossible to ignore” — kind of like Kamala’s cackle.

Given that little nugget of information, I’m beginning to suspect the Vatican poop rumor might be true.

If old Joe will indiscriminately cut the cheese while chatting with the Duchess of Cornwall, who’s to say he didn’t decide to let one rip while chatting with the Pope — only to get more than he bargained for? It’s not uncommon for someone to quietly squeeze out a fart, then discover too late that what squeezed out wasn’t just a fart.

There’s even a word for that, you know. It’s called a “Shart.”

Come on, admit it. It’s happened to you at least once in your life.

And old Joe is 78-years-old. When you get up in years, bodily control becomes a wee bit unreliable. Is it really outside the realm of possibility that a guy who often suffers from verbal diarrhea might just suffer from the standard kind too?

I have no problem believing it anymore.

[On a side note, my apologies for being MIA the last few days. Lupus flare.]

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19 thoughts on “I’m beginning to suspect the poop rumor is true

  • November 7, 2021 at 9:17 am
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    Biden is taking a page from Eric Swalwell’s campaign book 🙂

  • November 7, 2021 at 10:09 am
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    Glad you area back. Missed the photoshops (wonder when Snopes will start fact checking them as being “edited”).

    • November 7, 2021 at 10:37 am
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      Oh, that happened to me ages ago. The mistake I made was putting the logo in a corner. Some asshole cropped it out and passed the image around Twitter. So without a logo on it, people thought it was real.

  • November 7, 2021 at 10:24 am
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    Camilla is one to joke about body functions. During her years long affair with Chuckles, his phone conversation in his car was secretly recorded. He wooed his beloved with the romantic words, “Oh. Oh…I wish I could be your tampon!!” These people are all disgusting and are the last ones who should be casting stones. As for Joey, the long knives were drawn and sharpened long before he was talked into running for President. The only questions remaining are whether he will suddenly step down for unknown medical reasons or have an unfortunate and deadly incident during the middle of the night? The overlords must be panicking, because Cackles is clearly not going to be able to step up as President. If I was either one of them I would be very worried about being bumped off by my closest associates.

  • November 7, 2021 at 2:51 pm
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    So are we now to refer to him as the Incontinent Idiot or the Flatulant Fuck-up? Enquiring minds want to know.

  • November 7, 2021 at 4:41 pm
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    Trump 2020. Saw this bump sticker on a vehicle just day before yesterday. People that did not vote this way, they know who they are, should really take some introspective alone time to make peace with themselves for the alternative universe shit show that was living in their heads. Forgiveness must be earned

    ..

    • November 7, 2021 at 6:29 pm
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      Better said: Trust needs to be earned by the offending party. Forgiveness is the responsibility of the harmed party. In the Trump 2020 case, Dems know which party they are

      ..

    • November 8, 2021 at 9:23 am
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      STILL have my Trump 2020 sticker on my car but it’s up at the top of the rear window so more can see it! I even got positive comments from strangers when I still lived in the peoples republic of Vermont!

      Thankfully I escaped just as the PANDEMIC!!! spiked… again.

      BTW, many of the voters that you’re talking about actually can’t know who they are because they did vote for Trump but their vote got switched by Dominion software (fact check THAT Snopes!), they voted from the grave or they just plain don’t exist except on “mail-in-ballots” delivered in the dead of night to swing states.

      • November 8, 2021 at 12:47 pm
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        Yes, the 2020 national election appeared to be a hot mess. But of course, no court found any fraud.

        It seems unconscionable that voting machines and voting software are NOT fully auditable at this time. Voting machines and voting software should be fully auditable for future national elections

        ..

  • November 7, 2021 at 5:14 pm
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    Just walk through any nursing home and breathe deeply (if you can). Those accidents happen more frequently than most people realize.

    PS – Good to have you back!

  • November 7, 2021 at 6:39 pm
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    A ‘shart’ is like a fart with a lump in it? That must be like walking and chewing gum at the same time for the hospice patient. He must have been so proud! “Look Jill….a twofer!”

  • November 7, 2021 at 8:17 pm
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    When someone claims “Biden was hoisted by his own petard,” there will likely be physical evidence confirming it — fact check TRUE. (Petard comes from the French word “peter” – to fart.)

    Biden should have watched this video about the danger of traveling abroad…Micky Flanagan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fs3a5qT3k18 [Warning: colorful language]

  • November 7, 2021 at 9:08 pm
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    At his age, it’s a Golden Rule to never trust a fart.specially;

  • November 8, 2021 at 7:02 am
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    Joke Biden, The phony bastard “Resident” is a dumb as a stump
    demented, doddering, dishonest, mumbling old fool incapable of controlling his bowels never mind running the Nation.
    His wife “Doctor” Jill should be ashamed of herself for making him “run” in the first place.
    His cohort “Vice Resident Knee Pads Harris” is a vile, vicious, evil excuse for a human being.
    Both of these scum bags are hell bent on ruining our great country.
    “Knee Pads” Harris especially hates the military, the police and their veterans.
    Neither one of these filthy criminals was legitimately elected.
    We are now the laughing stock of the world.

  • November 8, 2021 at 7:07 am
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    Everyone needs to remember that the definition of diarrhea is – a fart with liquid drive. With all the drugs being used to prop up F Joe Biden one of the side effects is most likely diarrhea. I think F Joe Biden most likely goes beyond mere sharting and instead releases a torrent into his depends.

    Disgusting old pervert.

  • November 8, 2021 at 7:14 am
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    Even Democrats have to consider that *resident Brandon is not at his storied best these days.

    One must lower one’s expectations.

    No, lower. Much lower.

  • November 8, 2021 at 10:08 am
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    Look -> there’s Joe Bidet! Hands up, don’t shit!

  • November 8, 2021 at 10:57 am
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    Hi Dianny. Also factor in brandon’s excessive use of stimulants and you are more likely to suffer a liquid incident.

  • November 8, 2021 at 12:40 pm
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    Honestly… I think I’d rather bear witness to the sh/farts than the laugh.

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