In a sane world, Brian Stelter would be the sandwich guy

In a sane world, Brian Stelter would be the sandwich guy

It never ceases to amaze me that an incompetent oaf like Brian Stelter is the “Chief Media Correspondent” for a cable news network. If CNN was an actual news organization, Brian wouldn’t have the skill set necessary to work in the mailroom.  Though he might be lucky enough to snag the coveted Sandwich Guy position.

Of course, if Brian was the sandwich guy, nobody would get their sandwiches because the gelatinous goober would eat them all before getting off the elevator.

So what was the decision-making process for handing him the position of “Chief Media Correspondent?”

“We could make him the sandwich guy?”

“Are you kidding? That tub of butter would eat them all.  He can’t be trusted delivering sandwiches. Same with the donut delivery position.”

“Okay, fine. Then how about we make him Chief Media Correspondent and give him a Sunday morning show?”

“Huh. I hadn’t thought of that.  Do you think he’s qualified?”

“Does it matter? He doesn’t have to be qualified. All he has to do is watch Fox News all day.”

“Good point. Okay, Chief Media Correspondent it is.”

You’ve probably noticed over the last week or so that several outlets have been floating the idea that we scrap Presidential debates this year.  Hardly surprising given the Democrat nominee has scrambled eggs for brains.

The debates between Trump and Biden would be must-see TV – mostly because President Trump would reduce old Joe to an even more incomprehensible hot mess.

So outlet after outlet is positing that debates really don’t have any value and we should probably stop having them.

The most recent iteration of the “Let’s Scrap the Presidential Debates” was published yesterday in the New York Times in a column titled “Let’s Scrap the Presidential Debates.”

But the sandwich guy masquerading as CNN’s Chief Media Correspondent claims that only Fox News is floating the idea that there is a push to scrap the debates.

Good grief.

What’s his job again?

When Guy Benson provided him with a screen capture of all the headlines from non-Fox News outlets urging Biden to skip the debates, the sandwich guy who aspires to be CNN’s Chief Media Correspondent had this glitteringly stupid response:

“I’m well aware of the thing I just said isn’t happening is happening. But why is Fox News wasting precious time talking about what all of these news outlets are saying?” Asks the guy who can’t stop yakking about what Fox News people are saying.

CNN will spend hour after hour on a typo in a Trump tweet.

They’re the network that brought us the breaking scandal that President Trump gets two scoops of ice cream, for crap’s sake.

For a Chief Media Correspondent, Brian the sandwich guy kind of misses the point.

Fact is, given the news media’s all-hands-on-deck effort to drag the senile old cooter into the White House, it bears asking why these same helpful media outlets are all urging Biden to avoid debating Trump.

The simple question “why now?” is worth asking.

Don’t let the “Hillary won the debates” narrative from 2016 fool you.  After stumbling in the first debate with Clinton, Donald Trump came back hard in the second debate, and in the final debate, he delivered the knock-out punch.

And if Trump can make mincemeat out of “the smartest woman in the world,” imagine what he will do to a semi-coherent old man in the throes of dementia.

Could it be that the very media outlets that pretend there’s nothing wrong with Joe Biden’s mental acuity know that there is something wrong with Biden’s mental acuity? And are they now suggesting debates serve no purpose in order to prevent Joe’s dementia showing up live in front of a large national audience for fear that voters will choose not to vote for the guy who ain’t all there?

These are valid questions and worth discussion.

And as woefully incompetent as he is as a “Chief Media Correspondent,” Brian knows Joe’s lack of cognitive function explains the “why now.”

But see, Brian has to downplay the all-out push to “scrap the Presidential debates” because like most things the Democrats’ media handmaids try, they pushed too hard and too far.  And Americans aren’t stupid.  We can see through their “let’s make excuses for why debates shouldn’t happen so Biden doesn’t make an utter fool of himself” strategy.

In short, the strategy is backfiring.

Instead of shielding the dementia-ridden Democrat nominee, it’s shining a bright spotlight on the fact that the news media is scared that old Joe isn’t up to the task.

So here comes the “Media’s Janitor,” as Stephen Miller calls him, to try and clean up the mess by using Brian’s favorite all-purpose cleanser “Fox News Pounces.”

I bet that Sandwich Guy position is looking pretty good right about now.

Hit the Tip Jar!

Every dollar makes a difference!  Hit the DONATE button in the side bar.  Or, set up a recurring monthly contribution by choosing SUBSCRIBE.

Please White List Patriot Retort

Not everyone can afford to make a donation.  But you can still help keep this site solvent by white listing in your ad blocker. Ads help pay for this site and ad-blockers hurt that effort.  I made sure that the ads that appear here will not obstruct or interfere with your enjoyment of the content.  So please add to your white list.


Get Dianny’s latest ebook, RANT: Derangement & Resistance in MAGA Country. You can find it at Amazon, Apple iBooksBarnes & Noble Nook Store, and at Smashwords for only $4.99!

Share, share, share

12 thoughts on “In a sane world, Brian Stelter would be the sandwich guy

  • August 4, 2020 at 10:00 am

    Not that he was ever sharp but even Joe Biden in his prime would fold up like a tea table in any sort of debate with DJT.

    There is no way they will allow any debate to go forward. They just can’t let that happen. Joe can’t put two thoughts together, primarily because he doesn’t have two.

    The DNC will find some judge to issue an insanely stupid court order and the Democrat party PR firm (Media) will line up all manner of “legal scholars” to parrot the party line 24/7 until they convince half the electorate that’s it’s somehow legit.

  • August 4, 2020 at 10:17 am

    As sad as it is to see Elder Abuse, I really can’t wait for Biden to be destroyed at the debates. He was awful during the primary debates against his own party. He was angry, incomprehensible, and confused. Imagine going against Trump…..
    Plus, this makes the democrats and Biden look like cowards, they know they are screwed, so Biden has nothing to counter Trump. All Biden has against him is the Charlottesville lie which will do nothing to hurt Trump because we all know what he really said.
    Biden is plagiarizing Trump’s platform all the while acting like Trump is wrong. Biden can’t run on his own merits because he has nothing! Biden’s slogan, “Build Back Better” is worse than “I’m with her”
    The democrats seriously choose someone WORSE than Hillary!!!!

  • August 4, 2020 at 12:13 pm

    Hardly anyone on the planet watches stelter. Why give him him this notoriety… even if it’s negative… and publicity that he can’t muster on his own?


    • August 4, 2020 at 12:26 pm

      Because mocking this useless potato tickles me.

      • August 4, 2020 at 9:42 pm

        Wel that’s good enough for me.
        I love the way you expose this buffoon baboon potato headed goon!

  • August 4, 2020 at 12:35 pm

    Have you ever heard the MSM describe someone or something as “LEFT-WING”? I hear “RIGHT-WING” frequently describing people and things all the time. Wonder why that is. Could the Truth-Seekers in the MSM be biased in some way? How could that be?
    BTW: WHAT is taught in “schools” (haha) of “journalism” (haha)?

  • August 4, 2020 at 12:43 pm

    I just thought of something that is very troubling. If CNN and MSNBC et al go on a big hiring-spree, we will risk having a real moron-shortage in the employee-pool. Where would future government bureaucrats come from. The next Doktor FowChee, for example? Me worried!

  • August 4, 2020 at 4:48 pm

    Maybe ol’ Joe can just sit there like he did at the Ryan debate and flash his Chiclet teeth with that shit-eatin grin and say not much of anything substantive.
    The lefties thought he was brilliant.
    Maybe it could work again.

  • August 4, 2020 at 4:54 pm

    By the way, Dianny.
    You keep using that word, “cooter.”
    I don’t think it means what you think it means. ?

    “Old coot” is what I think you’re going for. ?

    • August 4, 2020 at 5:21 pm

      Cooter has many meanings. Turtles are called cooters. But I mean it in the stumbling, bumbling way as in “He’s a drunk as Cooter Brown.” I do not, however mean the vagina-sense of the word.

  • August 4, 2020 at 5:35 pm

    While I, too, am looking forward to watching DJT mop the floor with Dementia Joe, I am slightly concerned that the bar is being set so low for Joementia that if he even sounds semi-coherent, it will be considered a win for him.

    I would love to see a debate moderator ask Joe about the many made-up stories he has fabricated over the years–graduating first in his class with three degrees on a full-ride, pinning the medal of honor on someone, etc.

  • August 5, 2020 at 4:37 am

    That was my first out loud laugh in a while-you’re a hoot Babe.

Comments are closed.