It’s hot enough to melt flesh

Memo Meltdown

Good gravy. It’s late May and here in Central New York it feels like late July.

I’m telling you it’s hot enough to melt flesh.

Okay, not really, but being hot and sweaty makes me a bit more hyperbolic than usual.

If that’s even possible.

This morning I screen printed some T-shirts while the flash dryer heated up the print shop even hotter than it already was.

Then since I was already sweaty and cranky, I decided to mow the front yard.

Sweet merciful Zeus. I thought it was bad inside. It’s hot as Hades out there!

When I was in college, we did a production of “Godspell.” And the cast started referring to us as “The Nine Sweatballs and Diann.” I never sweated. Never.

It made them envious.

By the curtain call, they were drenched – their clothes soaked through, their face paint completely gone. And there I was powder fresh.

My castmates hated me for it.

Just to give you an idea of how hot it is right now, I’m sweating like a stevedore.

I always try to make it until June 1st before I haul out the window air conditioning units. But yesterday, I broke down and did it a few days early. My office – which was once a back porch – has nothing above it but a roof. And the afternoon sun beats down on that roof and turns my office into a hot box.

As I was writing my Memorial Day post yesterday, I had a stack of paper towels at my desk to keep the sweat from dripping off my eyebrows and onto my keyboard.

And that’s no way to work.

If I sound like a whining baby to all y’all from Texas, Nevada, Arizona – and points south — sorry. I know you deal with hot weather all the time.

But when it gets hot like this, I kinda crumble.

Extreme heat is hard on Lupus sufferers. Then again, so is extreme cold.

At least in the cold I can bundle up. There’s just no getting away from heat.

Whoever invented air conditioning should be canonized, as far as I’m concerned.

The whir of my window unit here in my office is like a choir of angels.

Apparently this unseasonable heat is going to break on Thursday and we’ll go back to our regularly scheduled spring weather.

Thank God.

Because I’m a bitch when I’m hot.

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3 thoughts on “It’s hot enough to melt flesh

  • May 29, 2018 at 3:10 pm
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    Same here in the heartland. I’ve gone past “glow” to full-on rolling drops. Yeeesh.

  • May 29, 2018 at 7:45 pm
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    I’ll trade you a million gallons of fresh fallen rain for some of that sunshine and heat!! I live in south west Georgia, and it has rained every damned day this month! So much so that roads and bridges around here have flooded 10 times over, compromising each. I want to see some sunshine!! I know your situation personally. Cold hurts my bones, heat makes me melt. Medication causes me to sweat like a race horse! Water drips from MY HAIR! So let’s swap a few days worth of aaahhhhhh, Thank You LOL
    Been told all my life “You can put on enough clothes to get warm, but you can’t take off enough to get cool”!

  • May 29, 2018 at 8:35 pm
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    If you live East of the Mississippi I can sympathize with you. I lived there for 37 yrs.It’s the humidity more than anything else. If you had somewhere nice to go you couldn’t get dressed until right before you had to leave because your clothes would be soaked through.

    Thirty years of living in Colorado and I still laugh at the people who complain about the humidity here.

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