Kamala’s Crisis Communications “experts” really suck

Kamala’s Crisis Communications “experts” really suck

I mentioned last week that Kamala Harris has hired two crisis communications experts to try and rehab her awful public image. But given the job these people are doing, I’m beginning to suspect they aren’t exactly “experts” at all. In fact, they really suck.

Because wow.

If this is an example of their work, they should be fired post haste.

Holy cow. Does her cringe communications team actually think this painfully awkward video would do one single thing to make Kamala more relatable or appealing?

I don’t know how many of you have seen the old HBO series “VEEP” with Julia-Louis Dreyfus. But Kamala is more agonizingly bad at this than even Selina Meyer. Both evoke laughter, but for Kamala, that’s not a good thing at all.

At this point, it wouldn’t surprise me if Kamala walks into a room, sticks her arm out stiffly and waggles her fingers in an awkward wave while saying, “Oh hello! I see you! I see you!” (If you’ve never seen “VEEP” you won’t get that.)

Don’t feel bad if you didn’t make it through the entire 45-second clip. I did, but I really wish I didn’t. Cringing that hard when you have Lupus is ill advised.

Actually, watching it with the sound down is probably preferable. But try to watch it with the audio on just so you can experience Kamala’s condescending “I’m talking to children” voice. She sounds like she’s reading “Goodnight Moon” to a two-year-old.

Clearly Kamala has never in her life been around children.

Then again, if your step-daughter is a creepier version of Wednesday Addams, you probably wouldn’t know how to engage with normal kids either.

Wednesday Emhoff

Yikes.

It’s like an undead version of American Gothic.

Jewish Deplorable cruelly posted two additional videos that are equally hard to get through.

But try anyway:

Wait, she glances into the telescope and reports, “The Earth is like a speck.” Honey, you aren’t looking at the Earth. You’re standing on the Earth.

Ugh! Of course that cackle shows up because everybody knows “craters on the moon” are a laugh riot.

The “Greeting the Children at My House” clip made me want to suck a tailpipe.

Good heavens, the over-acting here is something to behold, isn’t it?

That one reminded me of her “Look at my BUS!!!” video clip from her fleeting presidential campaign.

This is someone who is utterly incapable of feigning basic human behavior. During the campaign, Kamala thought slapping a pair of Chuck Taylors on her feet was all she needed to come off as engaging and relatable. Yeah, no, it didn’t work.

Now she’s hired this crisis communications team, and still all their “expertise” cannot polish this turd.

I can picture her supposed crisis comms team while she made those videos, standing off camera with their faces in their hands wondering what the hell they’ve gotten themselves into.

The last time a Democrat made me cringe so hard was that horrifying video of Liz Warren’s Rolling Stone photo-shoot. Remember that?

But those videos of Kamala are worse – mostly because the one of Liz didn’t include her talking. Sure, her grating voice was replaced with music that gave the whole video a “porn film” vibe, but still. At least we didn’t have to listen to that voice Jesse Kelly once described as the voice of a dying turkey.

Silent Liz is nowhere near as cringey as these videos — especially with Kamala’s high-pitched, faux full of wonder voice that makes her sound like she’s talking to newborns rather than children who already know how to tie their own shoes.

Did you ever think you’d see a politician so awful she makes Hillary Clinton look warm and engaging?

Frankly, videos of Joe Biden sniffing little kids makes me cringe less than these overly-emotive, phony Kamala videos. They are so awful, her crisis communications team is going to have to launch into a whole new round of crisis communications just to stop the bleeding.

Watch the videos again, this time without the audio – especially the first clip. The arm flailing, the wide eyes, Kamala looks like an overly-dramatic silent film actress after the villain ties her to the railroad tracks.

Jesse Kelly, after seeing the first video on Twitter last night, summed it up perfectly:

I legit think Vice President Dome is a fascinating human. How can someone be in public office that long and STILL not be able to at least fake some authenticity? It’s uncanny. No matter how much coaching, she’s just so bad.

Exactly.

You can see why the White House felt the need to hire a couple crisis communications “experts.” It’s just too bad they suck at spinning this cringey straw into political gold.

Okay, I concede that it probably isn’t entirely their fault that those videos are so painful to watch you want to knock yourself out with a frying pan just to get away from them.

Let’s face it. Kamala’s crisis communications “experts” were given the Kobayashi Maru of assignments here. They’d have more success teaching a mollusk to dance. No amount of soft-focus filming, elevator music and overly-emotive staged interactions with actual humans will ever make Kamala Harris look any better.

In fact, these videos will only make the problem worse.

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9 thoughts on “Kamala’s Crisis Communications “experts” really suck

  • October 9, 2021 at 11:24 am
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    And yet, she’ll probably receive 91,000,000 votes* in 2024, even more than the great humanitarian Joe Biden.

    *void where prohibited by election integrity laws.

    • October 9, 2021 at 11:51 pm
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      snort 😂

      love the disclaimer

  • October 9, 2021 at 9:55 pm
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    As Janice used to say on Friends, “Oh…my…God!”

  • October 10, 2021 at 1:15 am
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    Hey, look at what they have to work with.

  • October 10, 2021 at 5:40 am
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    “…and still all their “expertise” cannot polish this turd.”
    of course not. what do you expect? my guess is that the “crisis communication experts” resemble her step-daughter and her “boyfriend” more than they do any normal people. they’re probably just as out of touch (maybe more so) as kamaltoe. what’s funny is they don’t understand they’re NOT normal. and not in a good way

    • October 10, 2021 at 11:08 am
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      Uhh, which one is the step-daughter?

  • October 10, 2021 at 9:52 am
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    You are going to see THE CRATERS ON THE MOON with your own eyes [as opposed to what? your feet]

    Wow, sounds like she’s lived at the Naval Observatory since January and finally found the room with that thang called… A TELESCOPE.

    One cackle from the Presidency.

  • October 10, 2021 at 10:02 am
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    and you know, the media lie that Sarah Palin said I can see Russia from my back porch, but you’re right, they would never point out there is NO WAY… to see the Earth… from a telescope… ON. THE. EARTH.

  • October 10, 2021 at 12:00 pm
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    That’s it. Parody is dead. That woman redefines both PHONY and CREEPY! Is that picture of her ‘daughter’ with her special dweeb real? C’mon, man. Are you serious? This is a baggy-pants farce! In other news, the ‘president*’ chipped a tooth on his Malt-O-Meal this morning. Detail at 10:00.

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