Meghan Markle’s Pity Party

Meghan Markle’s Pity Party

Remember when little girls would have Princess Parties? This was back when little girls weren’t browbeaten into hosting gender neutral, super-non-offensive events. Little girls would dress in finery and little tiaras and pretend to be royalty. Imagine being one of those girls and seeing an American grow up to actually become a part of the royal family. Livin’ the dream, folks. Meghan Markle was livin’ the dream.

I guess once you actually become royalty holding a Princess Party is a tad redundant. So instead Meghan decided to throw herself a little Pity Party.

Rather than dress in finery and wear a tiara, Meghan wore a super expensive designer dress and a sour puss.

Nobody knows the trouble she’s seen.
Nobody knows but Oprah.

In the interests of full disclosure, I didn’t watch Meghan’s Pity Party.

There’s something unappealing about listening to a wealthy, privileged woman living a charmed life whining and complaining like she’s a charwoman with seven children living in a hovel down by the river.

I really hate this kind of stuff.

This morning, however, I watched a few clips from Meghan’s Pity Party and read a number of newspaper articles about it. Which, when you get right down to the ooey-gooey center is exactly what Meghan wanted: attention, lots and lots of attention.

Meghan Markle went from z-list television actress to international celebrity just for marrying up.

She’s not a victim.

But in America in 2021, the best way to get attention isn’t to marry a royal; the best way is to don the mantle of Victim – even if that means slandering your in-laws as frothing at the mouth racists who are depriving you of what you deem your rightful place.

And doing it all from your hovel down by the river.

Poso Tweet: Meghan Markle's Pity Party

You’d think after the Wallace Simpson scandal, the royal family would’ve learned not to let anyone marry an American. And that was worse because Wallace Simpson didn’t marry the second son of the Prince of Wales; she snagged the King himself.

He abdicated for her for crying out loud.

I’m thinking if Wallace Simpson was alive and saw that Oprah interview, even she would be mortified at Meghan’s Pity Party.

Truth is, Meghan is in Wallace Simpson’s debt.

Had Simpson not come along, King Edward VIII would’ve remained King of England. His brother never would’ve been crowned King George VI. And George VI’s daughter Elizabeth would never have been crowned Queen.

Which means Meghan would be married, not to the second son of the heir to the throne, but to some minor aristocrat nobody ever heard of.

Then again, if life had gone that way, Meghan, opportunistic climber that she is, never would’ve looked twice at this emasculated ginger she calls a husband.

And rather than thank Wallace Simpson – not to mention her lucky stars – for her undeservedly charmed existence, Meghan weeps over her hard-knock life from her palatial Hollywood estate while lobbing cheap shots at the people who made it all possible.

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15 thoughts on “Meghan Markle’s Pity Party

  • March 8, 2021 at 10:21 am

    Seems like she’s a new contender for 2021 most tiresome person?

  • March 8, 2021 at 12:28 pm

    He’s just stupid – the result of people bangin’ their cousins for 600 years. She, on the other hand, is just a conniving slut with pathological delusions of… something – Wallis redux. I pity the Queen. Only her dogs and horses don’t bring embarrassment to the House of Windsor.

  • March 8, 2021 at 1:51 pm

    I only watched it (other than the wife made me) in the slimmest of hopes that some Californian with whaling equipment might try taking Oprah and Me-again out with a single harpoon.

  • March 8, 2021 at 2:47 pm

    My personal hope is that the queen outlives the entire brood except for little Georgie and Charlotte. The queen is made of stronger stuff than the rest.

    • March 10, 2021 at 7:59 am

      I have a mental list I call “Share a pot of coffee with…”. It comprises famous and infamous people with whom I want to sit and share a pot or two of coffee, and just talk. The Queen is on that list. I’d not ask about royal goings-on; I’d want to talk with her about her work during WWII as a truck mechanic, and other things that shows the woman to be human.

  • March 8, 2021 at 5:28 pm

    Didn’t watch, but I had to do a self-check. And, sure enough, my “give a f#$k” meter is stuck on zero.

  • March 8, 2021 at 7:10 pm

    i hope those are the only reasons you watched it.

  • March 8, 2021 at 7:46 pm

    Only one palm tree? I’d be outraged too.
    I hear the imbeciles on the view think the Queen should apologize.

    Am wondering if Harry can see the shitstorm a’coming

  • March 8, 2021 at 8:19 pm

    Why is the Limey version of Ricky and Lucy even an item?

  • March 8, 2021 at 9:00 pm

    Would love to have seen Meghan’s mother on Oprah as well .More would have been informative
    on her family

  • March 9, 2021 at 6:53 am

    What kind of name is Meghan for a black chick? Shouldn’t she be Shaniqua or Aquavita or something…or is that raciss?

  • March 9, 2021 at 8:23 am

    Meghan might not be popular with the Neanderthal populations worldwide, but mom in law in Heaven Diana is congratulating her for getting Harry the hell out of the Firm’s grip. So Diana’s approval of her daughter in law is all that matters. The misplaced sympathy for the Queen in this episode of Royals Run Amok is laughable. The Queen is degenerate, her family is degenerate. Here is a question degenerate Oprah should’ve asked, “Why was Harry stripped of his titles and honors while Prince Andrew remains untouched?” Yeah, how about that? Harry and Mags just moved to another country…while Randy Andy became a clone of Jimmy Savile.

    • March 9, 2021 at 8:25 am

      Oookay, crazy lady. Do you chat with Diana often?

  • March 9, 2021 at 10:20 am

    I guess Meghan slept during American history and Biology classes in school

  • March 10, 2021 at 10:20 pm

    Best post of the day . Ten stars for you!!

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