So much for feeling better

Whelp, I jinxed myself. All my rosy claims Saturday about feeling better turned out to be a wee bit premature.

I was rushed to the ER Saturday night.

As an adult who still behaves like I kid, it was kind of cool riding in an ambulance. I’ve never done that before. But from my vantage point, it wasn’t nearly as fun as I thought it would be. Mostly I stared at a plastic seat covered with towels.

It’s never as good as you think it will be.

The upside of going to the ER in an ambulance is not having to sit for hours in the waiting room.

The downside is being in an ER late Saturday night.

It was crazy night in the Upstate Emergency Room. Holy mackerel.

The patient in the curtained exam room next to mine who was quiet as a mouse for hours, suddenly went full on psycho. Screaming, biting, kicking, spitting. It’s what I imagine a first date with Lena Dunham would be like.

There were a dozen people trying to get her under control. Every now and then, one of them would stumble into the curtain dividing my exam room from hers. I figured it was only a matter of time before the whole mishegas ended up on my gurney.

During the fracas, a nurse stepped into my room, walked up to my bed and said, “Hi. Wanna get out of here?”

“Yeah. I think that would be good.” She took my gurney and moved me off of Crazy Lane.

There’s one thing about being in a hospital that I hate. I simply cannot sleep. Even drugs that are supposed to “relax” you and “make you drowsy” aren’t worth it. Sure, you get heavy and droopy, but the constant comings and goings in a hospital make it useless.

I asked for foam ear plugs which at least help with the constant hospital noises. But since somebody is popping in every hour to take my blood pressure and make me take some pills or ask me if I need anything, I can never have more than twenty minutes at a time.

I haven’t had a sound sleep since Friday night.

Boy, I’d give anything for a little uninterrupted sleep.

By the way. If you’ve never had it before, morphine is pretty brilliant.

Right now I have more drugs in me than a Rite-Aid.

I feel like Marianne Faithful. Actually, scratch that. Given how I haven’t been able to shower in a couple days and have bags under my eyes the size of carry-on luggage, I feel more like Amy Winehouse.

Being drugged and stuck in a hospital bed doesn’t make it particularly easy for me to work. So I have not be able to post at all.

Writing this is the first time in two days I have actually been sitting upright.

Although I do have a pretty nice view of Upstate’s new cancer center and Interstate 81. Well, it was pretty late at night. You know, when normal people are sleeping and I’m only dreaming of sleeping.

And here’s the good news. I am able to sit up without help. Not to mention get up on my own, and walk on my own. Plus my temperature is normal. The IV antibiotics seem to be doing the job of killing this really rude infection.

The even better news is I will be home today.

After I hug my babies, the first thing I’m going to do is take a freaking shower. And sleep.

I do want to thank those of you who emailed me your get well wishes. It was so appreciated.

And now I can safely say that I am getting better. It’s just that I was much worse to begin with than I wanted to admit.

Hopefully this post made sense.

Did I mention Morphine is bloody brilliant?

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21 thoughts on “So much for feeling better

  • December 19, 2016 at 11:40 am
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    Yay, Morphine! I felt bad for laughing at your post, but that was pretty funny.
    Glad you’re going home!!!
    And I hope that infection is gone and never to return. The bastid.

  • December 19, 2016 at 12:00 pm
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    Wow! Scary. Get well quickly.

  • December 19, 2016 at 12:25 pm
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    Sorry to hear, Dianny. Be well and happy. No room for sickness.
    This season is the best Christmas yet.
    Looking forward to proving all the “hopeless” wrong.
    Wishing you all the best for quick recovery. – woody

  • December 19, 2016 at 1:04 pm
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    Just a reminder how much I missed your writing.
    I’ll be praying for your rest, strength and a quick recovery.
    Get well soon.

  • December 19, 2016 at 1:19 pm
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    Get well soon, Dianny.

    Can you tell me what’s become of Googie? I haven’t seen anything from her in almost 12 weeks

    • December 19, 2016 at 1:53 pm
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      I really don’t know. I don’t have any inside info on ATRS. I haven’t been there for nearly two years.

  • December 19, 2016 at 1:23 pm
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    I agree with your comment on morphine! Makes the world tolerable, until it wears off!

    Get better and God bless you.

  • December 19, 2016 at 2:04 pm
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    Dianny, I’m so sorry you had to go to the hospital. But I’m glad you’re going home today! You amaze me! After what you’ve been through, you STILL managed to make us laugh. We all wish you a VERY quick recovery, and hope that you will be back to “normal” by Christmas. You are in my prayers.

  • December 19, 2016 at 2:31 pm
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    Please take care of yourself and you are in our prayers?

  • December 19, 2016 at 3:14 pm
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    Get better quickly, m’girl. You keep all of us Deplorables going with your wonderful humor.

  • December 19, 2016 at 3:22 pm
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    I was wondering after not seeing a post in a while. Take care and get well soon.

  • December 19, 2016 at 4:25 pm
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    “It’s what I imagine a first date with Lena Dunham would be like.”
    Heh. You forgot the STD’s though…

  • December 19, 2016 at 4:28 pm
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    Geeze, Dianny! I’m so glad you’re doing well enough to head home home. Take care of yourself and rest up. And yes, morphine is awesome! 😉

  • December 19, 2016 at 6:09 pm
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    Get well! Merry Christmas! Have a happy healthy New Year!
    Jerri

  • December 19, 2016 at 9:09 pm
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    Stay alive as long as you can! Then we’ll have to go alone.

  • December 19, 2016 at 10:01 pm
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    Sorry to hear about your health issues. Please take care of yourself. Still praying for you.

  • December 20, 2016 at 3:44 am
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    We miss your one-and-only wit, Dianny. And pray for a blistering speed of recovery. Hang in there.

  • December 20, 2016 at 5:08 am
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    Get well soon, Dianny. Above all, be kind to yourself.

  • December 20, 2016 at 11:20 am
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    I hope that you are doing well, now. This whole frail mortal existence is distressing sometimes. We have to endure the bad sometimes to understand and appreciate the good. Get well soon Dianny.

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