The Nerf-Bat Coup

Faux black man and Black Lives Matter hacktivist Shaun King took to Twitter to declare if Donald Trump is elected President, we will have our own coup here in America.

The Anti-Gun, Micro-aggression-fearing Social Justice Warriors are going to start a coup?!

With what army? With what weapons? A Nerf-Bat?

If we have to keep those weapons of war off our streets, what the hell else will they use for weaponry?

It will be the first Nerf bat wielding, hair-pulling, eye-scratching, safe-space retreating coup in the history of the world.

While our side is squeezing triggers, their side will be dropping trigger warnings.

It’s pretty damn hard to defeat your enemy when the only weapon in your arsenal is shouting down your opponents and calling them racists and haters. Americans could put down the First Nerf-Bat Coup simply by saying something offensive.

You know, like “Gender is determined by your DNA.” Or “they’re not immigrants; they’re illegal aliens.”

Our side only needs to launch “Operation Cultural Appropriation,” and these guys would fold like a cheap suit.

I’m trying to picture a battalion of metrosexual pajama boys trying to breach our defenses. The only danger posed to our side is we may be too busy laughing our asses off to open fire.

Our pilots in the B-1B bombers need only open the bomber bays and drop the micro-aggressions on them and they’ll be scampering toward the nearest safe space in terror.

That sure is some tough talk from Sean King. But clearly he’s serious. After all, he did say, “I’m dead serious.”

Oooooooooh! He’s serious!

Anybody else shaking in their boots?

Suddenly I’m reminded of those 1940s Noir films where the femme fatale holds the revolver in her trembling hand while she screams, “Don’t come any closer! I’ll shoot! I mean it! I’m not afraid to use this!!” Then she crumbles into a sobbing heap as Humphrey Bogart takes the gun from her hand.

What the silly Mr. King fails to understand is we Americans have been fighting off a coup attempt for the last eight years. We are going into this election knowing the stakes. And we’re more than willing to fight — to fight for our Liberty, our national sovereignty and our country.

Meanwhile, this guy who blocks people on Twitter at the first sign that they’re beating him in a war of words thinks we’d be trembling in fear over his threats?

That’s just all manner of hilarious.

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Books by Dianny:

RANT 2.0: Even More Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
Liberals Gone WILD!!! The Not-So-Silent Conquering of America,
RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
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