The scuttlebutt is Joe Biden is in talks with Michigan’s own Nurse Ratched Whitmer and vetting her as his running mate.
Stacey Abrams hardest hit.
Sorry to break it to you, Stacey. But life is like gym class. The fat kid is always picked last.
Perhaps Nurse Ratched Whitmer just has better smelling hair.
Though, since it’s Joe Biden, it’s just as likely it was Whitmer’s Nurse Ratchedness that caught his eye.
While his team is looking for someone to actually serve as President while Joe is off Howard Hughesing it in the White House basement, looks like senile old Joe is looking for someone to dole out his meds, change his Depends and give him a sponge bath.
But to pick America’s most hated Governor?
Who is running this VP search anyway?
“Say, guys. We really need to nail down which of these gals would make the best VP.”
“Okay, Mr. Vice President. How about someone who is more reviled than Hillary and is an even bigger insufferable scold than Elizabeth Warren?”
But from the “heartbeat away from the Presidency” standpoint, I can’t help but wonder “what the hell is Joe thinking?!”
On top of that, neither gal is an especially good choice if Joe is looking to broaden his base of support.
I’m fairly certain Biden already has the “grumpy, identity politics-driven feminist” vote and “the sanctimonious suburban Karen” vote all sewn up.
If I were Nurse Ratched Whitmer, I’d be watching my back right about now.
Word of these talks between her and old Joe isn’t going to go over well with Rerun Abrams.
For all we know, Rerun is marching up to Michigan right now to put a stop to this.
I can just picture it. Nurse Ratched Whitmer is at her desk in Lansing and suddenly the water in her drinking glass begins to tremor – like in “Jurassic Park.”
When T-Rex Abrams arrives, Whitmer will wish she hadn’t chased off those armed protesters.
Look, the truth is, Team Biden is in a really untenable position here.
Their candidate is so bad that they’re pinning all their hopes on the bottom of the ticket.
That’s never a good position for a Presidential campaign to be in.
And I’m thinking they’re supremely nervous about choosing one of Joe’s former 2020 challengers.
Because if they pick Warren or Kamala or Klobuchar, they’d be acknowledging that the guy who beat those gals is incapable of winning without them.
See what I mean? That’s not a position you want for the man at the top of the ticket.
The fact is, even with Kamala, Amy and Liz in the mix, the bench isn’t exactly deep.
Which explains why they’re stuck with a wholly unqualified loser and a universally despised fishwife.
Trust me. If Democrat women were really as incredibly impressive as the media claims they are, Wide-Load Stacey and Nurse Ratched Whitmer wouldn’t even be a blip on Team Biden’s radar.
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