Well, I’ll be dipped in shit.
I just finished reading today’s Podesta Emails from WikiLeaks and just now learned that the FBI has reopened their investigation of Clinton’s private email server.
Holy crap! It must be bedlam over at Clinton HQ.
This is some seriously devastating news.
Now that I know how the Clinton sausage is made, I’m betting there’s a flurry of activity coming from Team Hillary. They’re probably buzzing like a hornet’s nest.
Panicked emails and hysterical phone calls galore.
What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall to watch it all first-hand.
My guess is Robby Mook’s eyes are popping out of his head even more than they normally do.
Cheryl Mills is probably in closed door meetings with David Kendall and the rest of Hillary’s army of attorneys.
The battalion of campaign spokespeople are hard at work formulating a statement – emailing draft after draft to get the messaging just right.
Reporters’ phone calls are going unanswered.
Bill Clinton is on the phone screaming at Loretta Lynch’s assistant demanding another face-to-face to talk about “grandchildren.”
And John Podesta is frantically trying to figure out what James Comey’s favorite risotto dish is while his assistant is on the phone with Comey’s office trying to set up a dinner invitation.
Meanwhile, Hillary herself is yanking out her hair in clumps while hurling curses and invectives at her Secret Service detail. Huma is dipping into Hillary’s private stash of Gray Goose. And the mysterious black guy that follows after Hillary is desperately trying to jab her with the Diazepam pen.
Show of hands.
Who thinks I’m probably not that far off?
Hit the tip jar!
Please consider making a contribution to PatriotRetort.com. Hit DONATE button in the side bar. Even a few bucks can make a world of difference!