Panderfest 2019

Panderfest 2019

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Panderfest 2019!

The competition is fierce, as the 2020 Democrat Presidential Candidates vie for the title of Chief Panderer of the Black Vote in the most horrifying ways imaginable.

If you were unfortunate enough to watch even a few minutes of cable news yesterday, you know that Friday was the five year anniversary of the death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri.

And in an effort to get the edge in Panderest 2019, Presidential hopefuls, without the sense God gave a goat, decided to land on the death of Michael Brown like flies on a pile of dog poop.

It’s as if Kirsten Gillibrand has no earthly idea what happened on August 9, 2014.  She leaves out a few all-important details.  For example, though Michael Brown was “an unarmed teenager,” he beat the living bejesus out of Officer Wilson in an attempt to get his gun.  He fractured the bones of Wilson’s face, gave him a blow-out orbital fracture, and even attempted to shoot him with his own gun.

But you wouldn’t know any of that from reading Kirsten’s tweet, would you?

No, you’d get the impression that poor, victimized Michael Brown, this unarmed teenager, was just ambling down the street when a rabid, racist cop shot him six times for no reason.

And while this might have been a great tweet to send five years ago before both the DOJ and a grand jury cleared Wilson of any wrongdoing, tweeting it on the five year anniversary is all manner of stupid.

But Kirsten, saddled with her white privilege as she is, believes that by promoting the now debunked fictional narrative that resulted in Ferguson burning to the ground is a great way to pander to black voters.

So in this year’s Panderfest, Kirsten’s lame attempt only rates a six out of ten.

However, two points must be automatically removed from that score to make up for Kirsten’s white privilege.  Therefore Kirsten’s final score in Panderfest 2019 is only a four.

Ah, well.  Bright side. That’s a higher rating than she’s getting in the polls.

Our next competitor is Kamala Harris.  Between bragging about pot smoking and Tupac-listening, Kamala’s been showing great form in the weeks leading up to Panderfest 2019.  So we expect her to knock it out of the park.

Uh-oh!  Sorry Kamala. You’re disqualified.

Panderfest rules prohibit competitors from libeling people.  And you just libeled Officer Wilson by implying he’s a murderer.

Stick to Tupac and busing, honey. And better luck next time.

Let’s welcome Panderfest challenger number three, Elizabeth Warren!

Liz had a rough start in this year’s Panderfest thanks to a DNA test. But she definitely wants to win it. Let’s see how she does.

Flag on the play!  Sorry, Liz.  You too have been disqualified for libel. So we can’t even give you a score of 1/1024.

Maybe instead of accusing a man who was cleared by a grand jury and the Obama DOJ of any wrongdoing, you should have just released an Instagram video where you say:

“Hang on a sec.  I’m gonna steal me some Cigarillos.”

Ah, well.  Hindsight.

So in this round of Panderfest 2019, Kirsten Gillibrand is the accidental winner. Hard to believe. But, hey. She has to win at something because she sure as hell isn’t going to win the nomination.

You know, it’s bad enough these idiots all rallied to support and defend that reprobate Al Sharpton.

But casting Michael Brown as an innocent teen who was “murdered” by a “white police officer” is beyond the pale.

What happened in Ferguson didn’t start a “conversation.”  It started nationwide riots.  Ferguson, Baltimore, Minneapolis, Charlotte – cities were burned.  Unless one defines “conversation” as looting, burning, and violence, that ain’t no “conversation.”

This kind of craven pandering should disqualify these idiots from holding public office of any kind.  And the truly sad thing is, all three of them are members of United States Senate – the so-called “World’s Most Deliberative Body.”

Elizabeth Warren is currently being sued for libeling the Covington Catholic boys.  Does she really want another libel lawsuit filed for calling Darren Wilson a murderer?

The lengths these Democrats are willing to go to gain power is horrifying, isn’t it?

They’re intimidating private citizens who donate to Trump’s reelection.

They’re slandering the President as a “White Supremacist” and bragging about it on Twitter (again, from the shameless Liz Warren):

Now they’re willing to libel an innocent man.

And all of it is prompted by the same thing.

I’ve said before that I think support for President Trump among blacks and Hispanics is higher than they’re telling us.

I think that’s the reason the “Trump is a White Supremacist” talking point has been kicked up to Spinal Tap 11. And it’s also why these morons are willing to rewrite history and claim that Michael Brown was “murdered.”

If Democrats believed that 90-95% of the black vote is secure, they wouldn’t need to resort to this kind of slander and race mongering.

This goes beyond Hillary’s simple “I carry hot sauce in my purse”-level pandering.  These candidates for President are willing to lie, intimidate, threaten — even rewrite history and libel an innocent man.  All in the hopes of gaining the black vote.  That isn’t just shameful; it is craven and perverse.

And it stinks of desperation.

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3 thoughts on “Panderfest 2019

  • August 10, 2019 at 10:00 am

    Five stars, a perfect ten, take the rest of the day off Dianny. You’ve done it again, another masterpiece. In my world Dianny is synonymous with common sense.

  • August 10, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    I, for one, am glad Chief Warren wants to seek justice for Michael Brown—except Warren, honey, squaw who drinks beer, Michael Brown already received the justice he deserved. Furthermore, Warren is right about us needing to confront police violence head on. Have you seen the videos of people throwing water at law enforcement in New York? That kind of police violence needs to be dealt with—preferably with tasers and arrests.

  • August 11, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    Why does Kamala always want to start/have a “conversation” and then cut off anyone who tries to engage in said conversation?

    Answer: she’s a one trick pony.

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