From the Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service: In what it calls “the most egregious example of animal abuse in history,” PETA is demanding an investigation into the former Obama Administration’s use of a team of seals in the 2011 operation to take out bin Laden.
“How did we not know about this at the time?!” An outraged PETA spokesman asked.
“To put these majestic animals at risk – flying them by helicopter into Pakistan, supplying them with weapons of war – it’s just egregious!”
Several Hollywood celebrities took to Twitter to echo demands that the Department of Justice open an investigation in the abuse of seals for such a dangerous mission.
“America, if you love animals, you should be furious,” tweeted celebrity activist Alyssa Milano. “I refuse to raise my children in a country that would abuse these precious, beautiful animals.”
“Clubbing seals is obscene. But exploiting them to carry out secret military missions is beyond the pale,” tweeted Amber Tamblyn.
“SEALS ARE NOT SOLDIERS!!!!! ? ?,” tweeted Cher. “I ❤️ OBAMA, BUT THIS MAKES ME ???!!!!”
After PETA launched a page on its website demanding the investigation, the Department of Defense released the following statement:
While this might confuse some people, the SEAL team that participated in the operation against bin Laden were not animals, but elite Navy special operators. SEAL is an acronym for “Sea, Air, and Land.” Good grief, you people are idiots.
When PETA learned of the DoD statement, they quietly deleted their tweets and removed the “STOP THE MILITARY’S USE OF SEALS” page from their website.
The Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service followed up with PETA after the information was taken down, and they emailed us this statement.
Okay, fine. We got that wrong.
But we will not stop defending the rights of animals. Beginning tomorrow, we will be bringing a lawsuit against Mexico for its use of coyotes as transport for those seeking asylum in the United States. While we defend the right of every non-citizen to enter the US, exploiting these majestic animals to do so is nothing short of egregious.
You can catch up on all the explosive news stories from the Wildly Inaccurate Dianny News Service HERE.
We’re wildly inaccurate, not CNN inaccurate.
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