Donald Trump’s latest loony policy position will have to take a backseat to the explosive Pizzagate story coming out of New York.

You heard right folks. John Kasich has been exposed as a knife and fork pizza eater. In a city where most people grab their pizza in one hand, fold it in half and stuff it in their mouths, the Ohio Governor committed the unthinkable act of daintily eating his pizza with a knife and fork.


Sweet merciful Zeus!!! What is wrong with this man?!

I immediately thought of that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine accidentally starts a trend by telling George that her employer Mr. Pitt eats a Snicker’s bar with a knife and fork.

By the end of the episode, surrounded by diners using knives and forks to eat foods normally held in one’s hand, Elaine can take it no more.

“What is wrong with all you people?!” She shouts.

Kasich already comes off as an effete, out of touch, prissy guy and this “Pizzagate” probably doesn’t help get him the “son of a mailman, everyman” vote.

If it’s discovered that he extends his pinky whilst drinking a can of beer, he might as well pack it in and head home to Ohio.

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2 thoughts on “Pizzagate

  • March 31, 2016 at 3:09 pm

    you think he eats his peas one at a time?

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