SPOTLIGHT: RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama

RANT COVER ART SMALLER

Happy Ides of March!

Today, I wanted to spotlight my book RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama.

This is Volume One in my collection of columns written in 2013 and, for those of you who enjoy DIANNY RANTS, it’s a great collection to have.

Here’s a sample of what’s in store for you in RANT:

On Barack Obama

From Barack Obama: Reality TV Star
Have you ever noticed that Reality TV’s greatest flaw is it is so unreal?

A young woman who tries to get a bachelor to pick her out from among a gaggle of perfectly quaffed women lined up like pigs at a farm auction, spends deep, intimate evenings with him so that he would choose her. You know. Just the two of them plus the camera crew, the sound crew, the director, (because it’s real life, you need a director).

I’m sure if the bachelor doesn’t get the “I’m not picking you” moment just right, the director will shout, “Cut!” And they’ll have to shoot the break-up scene all over again.

You know. Just like in real life.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve dumped somebody and ruined the whole moment by shouting, “Line!!!”

My theory is that the Obama Campaign wing of the White House, (which is pretty much the entire White House, including, apparently the chef and the tour guides), decided that because Low Information Voters love Reality TV, Barack Obama would get further if he were, say, like The Bachelor or American Idol.

He woos the voters in front of a camera crew, a sound crew and the Director of his campaign. He speaks, what appears to be from the heart. But then, it turns out that some twenty-something with aspirations of being a Sitcom writer wrote the words.

And, all the posh vacations and dinners he and his family take are paid for by the producers.
Obama’s world is like The Real World, in that, it too, is entirely fake.

From 2 of 22
Cynics refer to Barack Hussein Obama as the “Affirmative Action President.”

I’m beginning to suspect they might be right.

Before a camera actually caught him action, Obama was touted in the press as a very athletic, competitive guy who loved to shoot hoops and took his high school team to the championships.

I mean, Sports Illustrated was so enamored with Obama’s alleged athletic prowess, they recently made him one of the fifty most powerful people in sports.

Then, a camera actually caught him in action.

Two baskets out of twenty-two attempts.

And during “March Madness” too.

The Enslaved Press collectively cringed on camera.

ESPN commentators claimed that this is the single worst thing to happen in the Obama Presidency.

Yeah. What’s four dead in Benghazi compared to a lousy two baskets out of twenty-two?

Brian Terry? Who cares?

Obama don’t got game? Now, that is a tragedy.

Much was made about Obama being an avid golfer. Even Tiger Woods claims that Obama is, well, the next Tiger Woods (except without the affinity for porn actresses).

Easy for Tiger to make that claim when the press was kept away from their game.

Actual video footage of Obama tells a different story.

The next Tiger? Nah.

Dorf maybe.

It seems like everything we’ve been told about Obama’s athleticism, when the rubber hits the road, or, when the ball misses the basket, turns out it isn’t exactly true.

He can’t play basketball.

He stinks at golf.

And, honey, we all saw his first pitch at the baseball game.

I’m a girl and I throw less like a girl.

I’m beginning to suspect that, rather than being the jock on campus, Barack was the kid who always got picked dead last.

We’ve all been told, Barack Obama is simply brilliant. Why, he is probably the smartest man to ever occupy the Oval Office. This guy, he doesn’t need to go to Intel Briefings. He can just read through the reports because he’s just a sponge. He soaks up information like a heavy duty diaper. He doesn’t need anyone to explain stuff. He just knows. He is so brilliant; he knows everything.

And yet.

Where in the name of sweet fancy Moses is the proof?

When we see Obama speak off teleprompter. Do you see a brilliant, thoughtful man?

I don’t.

He can’t pronounce corpsman!

He doesn’t know how many states are in the United States of America!

This guy can’t tell the difference between an asthma inhaler and a breathalyzer.

I mean, I’m no Obama. My IQ is only 147, but I know the difference between an inhaler and a breathalyzer.

Okay, perhaps compared to Joe Biden, Obama is a smart guy.

But doesn’t that just prove my point?

On Michelle Obama

From Me – Me – Me: It’s All About Me
Michelle Obama’s a busy single Mom.

Only, she’s not single. But she knows what it’s like because she’s just like single moms only she’s not single. But she can feel your pain. She knows your shtruggles because she’s just like you only she’s nothing like you, but she knows how you’re feeling and what your days are like even though she has no idea how you’re feeling and what your days are like.

But she’s a busy single Mom just like you!!!!!

Michelle Obama’s a murdered teenage girl in Chicago.

Only, she’s not a teenage girl. And she doesn’t live in Chicago anymore. Plus when she did, she lived in a hoity toity expensive house in Hyde Park and earned three hundred thousand dollars a year for a no-show job. And she hasn’t been murdered in a random act of “Chicago.” But she understands the shtruggles of being a teenager living in gang territory because, well she wasn’t living in gang territory, but she knows anyway. Because she exactly like this dead teen even though she’s nothing like this dead teen. Because, like she pointed out, she went to Princeton and Harvard and this dead teen didn’t make it out of a vacant lot alive. But despite this, Michelle Obama is exactly like this dead teen. Only, alive…. And not a teen.

Whew.

What is it about the Obamas that they have to make everything about them?

These people make the most malignant narcissist look like St. Francis of Assisi.

And yesterday, pampered, wealthy, faux royal Michelle Obama, on yet another White House Anti-Gun “Stunt” – this time from the murder capital of the US – actually had the sickening audacity to relate herself to one of the hundreds of teenagers slaughtered in that city by gangs.

”And as I visited with the Pendleton family at Hadiya’s funeral, I couldn’t get over how familiar they felt to me. Because what I realized was Hadiya’s family was just like my family. Hadiya Pendleton was me, and I was her.”

There is something ghoulish and borderline pornographic about how the Obamas are using these people whose lives have been irreparably changed by senseless violence.

Apparently the violation of their lives through murder wasn’t enough. Now the Obamas have to violate them again and again and again.

It’s cruel.

It’s the most vile, senseless, selfish act imaginable.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

But you know they aren’t.

On The Democrats

From If We Were Really Serious About Saving Lives, We’d Ban Democrats
Intellectual dishonesty is a prerequisite for being a Democrat.

I’ve always been amazed at the lengths Democrats will go to avoid seriously debating issues or voicing anything from the neighborhood of facts. I haven’t seen that kind of fancy foot work since I was a kid after I broke one of my brother’s toys and my Mom caught me red-handed as I tried to hide the evidence.

Democrats are like arsonists who douse a home with gallons of gas, set it on fire, then blame the firemen for not being able to put it out in time to save it.

If Democrats were a fringe party in Washington with the blinding strength of a 15 watt bulb, perhaps we could all stand around and say, “aren’t they cute the way they act like children?”

But the children are in charge.

And when Democrats are in charge, people die.

Just ask the families of the five hundred and thirteen people who were murdered in Chicago in 2012.

And these same inept, bloviating morons are in charge of national security. And when Democrats have control of national security, people die.

Just ask the families of the men and women gunned down at Fort Hood. Or, the families of the soldiers killed by the very Afghani forces they are training.

[Which happens when you proudly announce to the enemy the date you plan to up and leave the war – Ah the Democrats.]

Or ask the families of the four men brutally slaughtered in Benghazi.

Or, the families of those killed and maimed in Boston.

[I’d suggest we ask the 50 million people who were legally murdered since 1973, but they never had the chance of becoming “viable,” so we can’t ask them anything. To be fair, they had it coming; they were punishing some girl. God bless abortion!]

Iran thought so little of the children in the Carter Administration, that they didn’t hesitate to take Americans hostage.

They only released them when a grown-up who put the “security” back in national security became President.

Apparently, for Democrats being soft on crime and a quisling in foreign policy is a resume enhancer.

On the Sandy Hook Shooting

Today, one of the Newtown Parents will be giving the weekly Presidential Address.

You know, because she is the Constitutionally, duly-elect Chief Executive of the United States of America.

Isn’t it funny how religious devotion is supposed to be a private matter according to Liberals, but grief is everybody’s business?

This is the sort of thing Dictators do.

Remember when Elian Gonzalez was brought from Cuba to the US by his mother? She drowned, but Elian survived and was taken to his relatives in Miami.

Back in Cuba, Fidel Castro paraded Elian’s father before television cameras and reporters. All in an effort to strong-arm the US to return Elian to Cuba.

And it worked. Not only did the Clinton Administration return Elian, they did it with storm-troopers who broke into the relative’s house carrying those scary assault weapons.

Who can forget the picture of the little Cuban boy, in the arms of his relative, pressed into a closet with a guy in military garb pointing one of those scary black rifles at him?

Barack Obama has gone from taking advantage of a tragedy to capitalizing on the grief of those left behind.

Barack Obama, like Fidel Castro, exploits the parents of those children who were slaughtered at the Sandy Hook Elementary School to push unconstitutional legislation on the rest of the country – legislation that would have done absolutely zero to stop Adam Lanza.

And his exploitation has crossed a line.

This President is an opportunistic infection. A parasite who inserts himself into unsuspecting hosts and drains the very decency out of them.

He’s like a creature that feeds and strengthens off the grief of others.

The question is how much longer are We the People going to permit this sort of pornographic exploitation?

The twenty children who died in Newtown, Connecticut, and their families, were already horribly exploited by the psychotic Adam Lanza.

And now Barack Obama, another sociopath, is exploiting them again.

And again.

And again.

Let’s not let these folks heal.

Let’s keep ripping the scab off the wound.

Let’s keep them bleeding their grief and pain all over the place, but let’s make sure they do it in front of television cameras.

Let’s get them on 60 Minutes.

Let’s have them do the Presidential Address.

It is pornographic.

It is reprehensible.

And it is being done by the man who is supposed to be the Chief Executive of the United States of America.

Gays in America

A basketball player named Jason Collins has “come out of the closet” as a homosexual.

Hollywood, the Enslaved Press and Bill Clinton are tickled pink.

Sorry. Was that hate speech? Should I say differently tickled?

Meanwhile, across the fruited plain [again, I’m sorry. That was probably insensitive], the ninety million Americans without work expressed their delight at the news.

Not really.

Fact is, outside of Hollywood, the Enslaved Press and rapist Bill Clinton, nobody gives a damn.

White House spokesman Jay Carney called Jason Collins’ decision to come out “courageous.”

You know, like storming the beaches of Normandy. Or fighting your way down the Mekong river under Viet Cong sniper fire. Or perhaps defending your home against burglars with your Mossberg 12 gauge.

We really have lowered the bar on what is courageous nowadays haven’t we?

“I made a left turn at a green light when no oncoming traffic was in sight.”
“Holy, crap! Was that courageous!!”

Impeached, disbarred serial sexual harasser of women, Bill Clinton said it was “an important moment for professional sports and in the history of the LGBT community.”

I don’t watch basketball.

I’ve never heard of Jason Collins.

And where he dips his stick is none of my business.

But how exactly is his being homosexual an important moment in professional sports? Does it make him a better dribbler? Will this improve his ball handling?

Don’t answer that.

And what’s this LGBT community?

Not since the Warsaw Ghetto has there been such a push to segregate a group of people.

And it wasn’t exactly the Jews’ idea to be segregated. The L*G*B*T [M*O*U*S*E] crowd apparently is segregating itself.

They have their own community.

Not sure yet if they have a post office, a Grange Hall or a grocery store. Now, that would be awful if the LGBT community were a food desert.

If homosexuals want to be treated like everybody else, why is there an LGBT community?

Homosexuality isn’t a race. It isn’t a creed.

It is a sexual proclivity.

There isn’t a Mission Position Community.

There isn’t a Philanderer Community.

Speaking of philanderers. Even disbarred serial sexual harasser of women Bill Clinton’s daughter Chelsea got into the act.

Taking to the Twitters (because the Lyceum was just too far to travel), Chelsea tweeted, “Very proud of my friend Jason Collins for having the strength and courage [there’s that word again] to be the first openly gay player in the NBA.” Thereby establishing without a doubt that Chels is a fag hag.

How courageous!

They’re all so proud of this guy.

Proud?

If you win a Congressional Medal of Honor, damn, I would be proud of you.

But publicly announcing your sexual predilection isn’t something that makes me proud of anyone.

It isn’t like you climbed K2.

[Okay, that was probably inappropriate too]

~~~

RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama is only $2.99 and is available at Amazon Kindle Store, Apple iBooks, and Barnes & Noble Nook Store.

It is also available at smashwords.com in all e-reader formats as well as PDF for download onto your computer.

I hope you check it out!

Buy RANT at these fine e-book sellers




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One thought on “SPOTLIGHT: RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama

  • March 16, 2015 at 10:17 pm
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    Bravo!

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