Dear Pete King:
Back in March of 2015 you threatened to jump off a bridge if Ted Cruz became the nominee.
Sounded like a great plan to me.
Hell, I even made a sign just for you.
Now, you’ve declared that if Cruz gets the nomination, you will take cyanide.
Speaking as a New Yorker who think you’re an asshole, you’ve given me one more reason to hope Cruz is our nominee.
So you hate Ted Cruz enough to kill yourself over him? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Pete, but nothing is a more ringing endorsement of the guy than knowing he gets under your skin.
Here’s my theory, Pete. You’ve been sucking off the government tit for over thirty years — first in New York State, then in Congress where you have been haunting the halls of the House of Representatives for 23 years.
And in all that time you have yet to make the kind of impact on our political discourse that Ted Cruz has made in far less time.
You’re a plantar wart, a parasite. You’re just another entrenched member of the political aristocracy who hates the conservative grassroots and thinks the Tea Party movement was the worst thing to happen to Republicans. It probably also doesn’t help that you suffer from a perpetual case of the Grumpy Uglies.
Personally, I think a lot of voters may want Ted to get the nomination just to find out if you are more than a steaming sack of hot air that won’t ever shut the hell up.
I know I’m dying to find out.
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